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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

@mongward.bsky.social

85 followers 240 following 580 posts

Fantasy, RPGs, video games, terrible puns, and Oxford Comma. Both more and less grumpy than I look. - - - he/him - - - profile pic by @sfaira.bsky.social

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · Aug 1

No siema. Postanowiłem zabrać swoje paplanie nt. #exalted poza napadanie znajomych na komunikatorach i zrobić z tego Youtube'a.

Dla stworzenia iluzji ładu i porzadku, w tym wątku będę doczepiał kolejne odcinki w miarę ich pojawiania się.

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 17h

Imagine minding your own goddamned business running a family farm and then suddenly gravity is purple because some blokes from a town half a globe away broke reality by making a risky deal.

"The fuck happened to the moon? The fuck you mean it got killed? Why was it even alive??"

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 17h

Something that doesn't seem to be considered often enough in fantasy is: when heroes do their cool shit and Big Stuff happens to change the stars / kill magic / bring back dragons / etc. what do people on the other side of the world think is going on?

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 20h

Day 15 of the #ExaltedArtChallenge

I love Sidereals. 3e might actually have made them equal to Deebs in my ranking.

A short story on a beige background

‘You’re being unreasonable, Blue’

Her mentor’s benevolent incessant droning was chipping away at the limited patience left in Cerulean Nailon.

‘Anything but. I’ve seen all the permutations, and explained them to you ten times. At this stage it’s not my problem if you fail to see the obvious.’ she saw the teacher bristle at her words, but by the end of the day if will be clear who’s right and who is past her prime.

‘When was the last time you stepped outside this room?’

‘I have work to do. If we don’t straighten that destiny, half a century of work is wasted. Go away.’

Momentarily unable to squeeze out a word, Glass Promise waved her hand, trailing glitter-blue stardust over Nailon’s hectic notes and frantic connections.
‘Please hear me over this,’ she said before her pupil could express outrage. ‘You aren’t being yourself, we’re better than this’.

By Venus’ grace, her lesser sign bore through whatever haze dammed Nailon’s reason.

The younger Sidereal slumped in her chair with a weeping sigh.

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 20h

Day 11-14 of the #ExaltedArtChallenge

Had some catching up to do, oops.

I particularly like the Exigent one, it's based on my yet-unmechanised idea of a god of names who tags along with his Exigent and eats the man's names and aliases in return for extra motes. They will get along, eventually.

A short story on a beige background

The hungry ghosts took a violent step back, blown back by a pressure none of the living present could feel.

‘I did not order this death. Return to your graves until conjured.’ rasped a quiet voice.

The dead struggled against the command, buffeted by an opposing will. Mortals cuddled into a shallow cave watched with eyes wide open, too scared to risk turning their gaze.

Cold night exploded into the fading warmth of the retreating day with a dusty smell of offerings long overdue.

‘You are mine to command by the unliving will of the oblivion itself. Leave.’

Tension broke, and the dead skittered away back in the direction of their graves. The voice rasped closer to the cave’s opening.

‘My apologies for the inconvenience. The presence behind this unfortunate incident will be recycled and reconfigured properly. If you could step out of the cave, I have a little bit of bloodshed to get into that these dilettanti could not have been trusted to conduct to specification.’

A short story on a beige background

‘I am sorry, but this isn’t agreeable at all. Our dead have been cared for well all this time! We don’t need a service we don’t need.’

It was to be expected. You know they can’t be trusted. Yes, Mother.

‘Your offerings are sufficient, but not satisfactory. I can guide your agreements, if you let me stay at the whisperer’s hut for the season.’ let the leader guide the direction, you can pivot without missing any breath.

The old woman frowns. A chance?

‘Are you a speaker?’

‘I do speak across the limen, yes. Your graveyard is agreeable, it can be better. Safer for both and on either side.’ please let me help you before this domain also falls. ‘Your neighbours downriver have already avoided the devouring that befell Anlin.’

The stranger stood up awkwardly, and the hooded cloak fell at odd angles. ‘I shan’t bother you, if you trust your methods.’ a smell of graveyard wafted in despite closed windsills.

‘Wait. We may... the hut is unused anyway.’

‘And I can prevent the loss of the future whisperer’.

A short story on a beige background

‘You wanted my help, don’t act all depressed now because of it’
‘You ruined my life’
‘Bah, you look at it completely wrong. I let you live many!’
‘I don’t even have a name anymore!’
‘Sure you do, any you’d want.’

The two have been on the road to Great Forks for two weeks now — a god of names in dire straits, and a man who wanted to disappear.

‘You eat them all, you dungbat!’
‘Now now, that’s no way to talk to a god, shshshshshs. I don’t even eat them. Just turn them into power you need to keep on not getting killed.’
‘Did you just use my name?’
‘Just when?
‘Just then!’
‘Oh, yes, you didn’t hear it?’
‘Nothing but the murmur of wind.’
‘Fascinating. Do you hear it when I call you Ravel?’
‘Yes I do’
‘Well... don’t get used to it much, there are some bandits ahead. You know what to do to get through it. Toodles!’

The god dematerialised, leaving Ravel haggard on the dusty road.

‘Oi you filthy bastard, give us yer silver!’

shshshsh sighed and danced on the edge of memory to get behind the bandit.

A short story on a beige background

Swooping Hope raced against the gathering winds and their own fear.

‘I must make it, Oloime needs to—‘

A tyrant lizard wrought in cloud and lightning roared into being over the hill, the wind pushing against the Lunar’s flight grew tendfold.

‘Shit, no, I can still—’

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Reality seemed to open a panel that’s always been there, revealing titanic whirring verdant gears and rhythmic pendulums.

‘Your command over electricity is impressive, cousin, you will find mine at least your equal!’ a voice not wholly human rolled over the hills. ‘Please do not advance.’

When Hope’s flight finally carried them over the hills, Luna’s Chosen saw a living jade statue with twin whips of alien make, protecting Oloime, and clearly an odd Chosen themselves.

The ground between the defender and the shikari vibrated with contained lightning, Lunar’s essence instinctively leapt to bolster their body against the thunder that would inevitably crash when the tyrant lizard and the gears collide.

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 1d

Miałem na myśli cienistego memoneka. Promptobery mnie interesują prawie nigdy, chyba, że biorę udział :D

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 1d

Brzmi jak ciekawy koncept :D

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 1d

Pochwal się co to za postać :)

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 1d

Stało się, dwadzieścia minut Mongwardowej paplaniny o Draw Steel.

Stal dobyta, humor gitówa, zero potrzeb.

Wrażenia z Dobytej Stali [Draw Steel]

YouTube video by Erpegowa Grota Mongwarda

youtu.be

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Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Chris Franklin @errant-signal.com · 1d

Even putting aside the fact that AI can't do this and will never be able to do this

Who would *want* this? Who wants a bespoke personal TV show? That they can't meaningfully engage anyone else with? That no human had a hand in crafting? You might as well tell someone about a cool dream you had.

Scientific American @sciam.bsky.social · 3d

Despite early, and familiar, copyright growing pains, Sora may be the prelude to AI-generated on-demand TV and movies

Want to See Marilyn Monroe in Game of Thrones? AI Could Make It Soon

Despite early, and familiar, copyright growing pains, Sora may be the prelude to AI-generated on-demand TV and movies

www.scientificamerican.com

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 1d

I am four prompts behind of the Exalted Art Challenge, but I trust the process when it says "just wait, you'll get an idea so good, any moment now!"

The process wouldn't betray me!

Maybe I'll get to it tomorrow.

Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Mars is in Retrograde @shownomarcy33.bsky.social · 1d

#ExaltedArtChallenge day 13 (exigent) and day 14 (anima banner)!

This would be Treise, the chosen of the hedges, where civilization and nature cross paths with each other.
@theuncrucified.bsky.social
#art #illustration #characterart #exalted #ttrpg #ttrpgcharacter #oc #ocart

Art depicting a redheaded woman playing a green fiddle in front of a hedgerow at night. Around her, an image of a glowing elk rises up facing the viewer

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 2d

Praktycznie skończyłem montować video o Draw Steel.

Im dłużej nad nim siedziałem, tym bardziej chciałem nagrać voiceover na nowo, ale na szczęście jestem na to zbyt leniwy.

Jak dobrze pójdzie, to wleci w środę.

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 5d

Ooh, I love it. The lineart is fantastic and gives Diamond a look of hard-earned experience in my eyes.

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 5d

Day 10 of the #ExaltedArtChallenge: Incarnations back to back

I found the final concept mid-writing, as I realised it could be about flashes of memories held within the Exaltation, carried through the ages.

Giving the Exaltation itself some identity felt like a fun, non-canon choice.

A short story on a beige background

A broad-bladed daiklave stabbed into the heart of a concept, its soul warped, yet strengthened by the exposure.
***
An impassioned speech in a gathering of your elders, a plea and a claim to a blade whose relationship with your exaltation is stronger than death.
***
An artistic ambition quelling the endless stirring of radiant essence in your soul, blood spilled on the floor of a palace inherited by your power.
***
Darkness. Lost beyond usefulness.
***
The thieves’ stench makes you twist and turn, you escape with others like you, reaching for the heavens, but so many are lost to the ever-foes.
***
A soldier of quick temper, the last defender of a village which didn’t do anything to earn its slaughter. A worthy soul to illuminate.

Two years pass. Memories resurface in flashes and flares.
‘The Mask is broken, but it worked. It was worth it’.

The Creation is different, but it can’t be all lost when the Unconquered’s champions roam it, can it?

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 6d

Day 9 of the #ExaltedArtChallenge

This time I wished I had more space, and while only I control the space I have, at least this one self-imposed rule I'll respect xD

A short story on a beige background

‘It should be somewhere here’ said River.

The expedition spent the last two weeks cutting through the forest, following the ancient shahan–ya’s directions, and now finally stood before...
‘Nothing more than a broken ruin, why are here?’, spat Emerald Rain, slicing the vines blocking their path.

‘We knew it was going to be, Em, but the old cat insisted.’

The travellers passed into a shadowed corridor littered in stained glass that once adorned its roof.
‘We could have been somewhere fun, but no, we’re in the middle of nowhere!’
‘See? Rima gets it! Why are we... oh.’

As if Fated by Mercury herself, the trio entered a perfectly preserved gallery, the orichalcum-latticed roof held against the centuries and now opened to the dance of lights in the Calibration sky.

‘It worked’ whispered Emerald Rain out of the blue ‘The Mask is broken, but it worked’, as starlight moved through a jade arch and the dancing shadows chronicled the war against Primordials, he cried unexpected tears, ‘It was worth it.’

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Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Seth Skorkowsky @sskorkowsky.bsky.social · 7d

OK. Last time.
A D&D Stirge detaches after draining 10 HP of blood. Therefore HP are a measurable unit of blood (I estimate 200ml per HP).

Characters with high HP might have hundreds of liters contained in their bodies at high pressure. Even light nicks tend to spray anime-style.
It's science.

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 7d

Day 7 (God) and Day 8 (First Age Incarnation) of the #ExaltedArtChallenge.
I keep missing a day and having to make up for it. Oops.

A short story on a beige background:

‘It’s a prestigious position, you won’t get a chance like this soon.’
Rich aromas still wafted strong in Fruitful Endeavour’s presence, centuries since they oversaw spice trade.

‘It is true from a certain point of view, but I know what destinies they are planning for the city. I would be squatting on your patio within a hundred years.’
Olomaion of the Tides winced, even though Endeavour’s patio was famously gorgeous.

The two gods sat in silence for a while, smell of brine competing with spices for control over the cramped office snowed under sailing charts and tide schedules.

‘So what are you going to do?’
‘My job. They don’t have enough pull to remove me, and misjudged my ambitions. Whirlpool’s betters tried to force me out, and quickly learned that nobody know that knot of currents and tides better than I do.’
Tides’ voice took on the timbre of rolling waves.

A god of commerce and a god of seas sank back into silence, before Endeavour spoke again.
‘Do not drink the wine I brought.’

A short story on a beige background

It took centuries and more wasted material than she would have liked to admit, but Dancing Chisel was finally happy with all the carvings and every arrangement.

Rerouting of certain stellar paths to accomodate them for the new era were also a point of contention, but hardly something worth bringing up at the Deliberative.

No matter, it all worked out in the end. Come Calibration, it should be a shadow play for the ages.

‘Aren’t you worried, Opina?’ a voice rustled from the shadows.
‘Not anymore. My work is done, come heaven or hell it will stand.’
‘It’s the heaven that’s coming.’
‘As is their right. My elder peers brought this on us all. I will not have the memory of my predecessors’ deeds lost to the darkness that comes.’

Silver Roar stepped gently out of the shadows, moonlight exposing the lionine tuft of her Tell.
‘We could run. I know safe havens in the Wyld’
‘I know. And I need you to outlive me. Somebody needs to know it’s here.’ she put a sad kiss on her Lunar companion’s forehead.

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Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Keith W. Dickinson @keithwdickinson.bsky.social · 8d

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

The Verge @theverge.com · May 26

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.

buff.ly

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 8d

Tempered Lagiacrus in MH Wilds is fucking me up even when I have support hunters to help. It's not even a fun challenge anymore, it's just annoying.

Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Chibdm @chibdm.bsky.social · 9d

Robin Williams' daughter has some quality thoughts on AI slop

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 9d

Days 5 (Spell/Ritual) and 6 (Celestial Incarna) of the #ExaltedArtChallenge

A short story on a beige background.

'What have we learned today?’

Their words were met with silence and the creaking of broken wooden frames. For a brief moment, Glass Promise was unsure if that’s part of the spell or not.

‘We do not invoke the Skin of Bronze without checking the footing.’
‘Correct! What else?’
‘Gods are sometimes squishy’
‘Also correct!’

Promise reached out their hand and, with an Essence-infused heave, helped their pupil out of the rubble.

A lesson unspoken was of their own, and involved planning a different training for young Nailon.
The young woman took to sorcery with a startling ease, but broader picture kept eluding her, be it the filigree wood-and-paper floors or the flammable... the same, really.

‘Are you mad at me?’

The elder Joybringer took out their hankerchief and polished Nailon’s dusty forehead, eliciting a very amusing ring from the metallic surface.

‘Bah, nonsense. A little discorporation never killed anyone, and the repairs will come out of your stipend anyway.’

A short story on a beige background

‘Do you think they know?’
The hands traced the path of the sun across the sky, now dark and resting from its toil.

‘What do you mean?’
‘The ones above, in the sky.’
A sigh of hesitation. ‘I think they can’t. It must be too much, right?’

Grass shifted on his namesake, rustling quietly in the darkness lit by stars alone.

‘You think so?’
‘Seven Tides only hears from us in the bay, and she is already always tired.’
‘Hm. Maybe. Maybe who moves the skies hears too much good and bad to know.’
‘Mom says Luna knows, but she wouldn’t say how she’s so sure.’

‘Your mom says a lot of weird things.’

Trout grabbed a handful of leaves and chucked them at Grass. ‘She’s not from the bay, she saw places, you should listen some time.’

‘Maybe. I hope the moon comes back after the Calibration.’
‘They always do.’ replied Trout, adopting his dad’s unearned, sagely tone.
‘Race you to the pier?’
‘We’re avoiding the stones, remember?’

Golden stars glimmered in Grass’ eyes. ‘Of course I remember, stupid.’

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Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 10d

When I started playing Monster Hunter with World, I realised just how amazing its OSTs are for the way I run Exalted. Properly heroic, epic, and not at all subtle.

Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin @mongward.bsky.social · 10d

Ambitne plany na ten tydzień:
- zmontować odcinek o Draw Steel
- nagraclć do niego B-roll w Tactical Breach Wizards i Midnight Suns
- zredagować i poszerzyć skrypt odcinka o Solarach

Jestem z pewnością w stanie zrobić przynajmniej jedną z tych rzeczy.

Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Mars is in Retrograde @shownomarcy33.bsky.social · 14d

#ExaltedArtChallenge day 1 complete! I wanted to do something that felt representative of a whole aspect, rather than just one person so... soviet style propaganda poster from autochthonia celebrating their champions!
@theuncrucified.bsky.social #exalted #ttrpg #art #minimalist #poster

Soviet style minimalist propaganda poster showing art of an alchemical exalted made of red jade, standing on a ledge and facing a bright light. There are gears in the foreground and he is holding a large piece of rubble above his head. The text reads:
Top: "JADE ASPECTS LEAD THE WAY TO THE FUTURE"
Bottom: "DON'T LET THEM DO IT ALONE! DO YOUR PART TODAY!"

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Reposted by Mongward, the Grumpiest Paladin

Mars is in Retrograde @shownomarcy33.bsky.social · 13d

Day 2 of the #exaltedartchallenge and I... was laid out in bed as the plague reclaimed me. So, have some older exalted art of mine! Seo-Yun, the White Fox of Wu-Jian, and her bondmate The Forsaken Crow, in some Wu-Jian and Skullstone fashion. #art #ocart #ttrpg #exalted @theuncrucified.bsky.social

Art showing a pair of original characters for the Exalted ttrpg standing back to back in front of a dark background.
Character on left is a tall, thin woman who is holding a skull that is wreathed with red runes. She has a soulsteel hammer in her other hand.
Character on the right is a short fox woman with three tails, holding a pale yellow gem which radiates beams of light.

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