Author | Lightnews

marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 4d

and THIS is what makes all the tree-felling and log-hauling and wood-chopping and chimney-sweeping and ash-hauling worthwhile >:3

my cat Corona sprawled upon the back of my couch, drunk on wood stove heat, her toes extended to capture every last little nugget or thermal energy possible, her eyes half-open and focused on a distant horizon not of this world, and when i poked her tummy cruelly it felt as hot as a baked potato covered in mold

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 6d

he keeps meowing something about "a yard of linen" and "dialectical and historical materialism" and "there is a spectre haunting my litter box!" and i just shake my head sadly and tell him he has to read more theory 😔

Geoffrey the wonder cat, who is orange, sitting on a chair and glaring at me, and behind him is a giant ass flag of the USSR

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 15d

laying on the couch is lovely but it also means i have this fuzzy menace looking down at my unprotected stomach with glee in her malevolent little eyeballs

my cat Coco looking down from her perch high atop one of my bookshelves, her paws are white and her eyes are bright

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 16d

BEEFCAKE! BEEEEFCAKE!!

a selfie taken in the back-room of my place which looks like a squat in Brixton only with less of the charm, also uh don't uh don't pay any attention to anything on the background, i need you to focus on my MUSCLES

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 16d

now i can't unsee that, and i've been showing my mom and nephew the CT scan of the little goblin living in my head >:)

marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 16d

i love this mug and it's Comic Sans looking font :D

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 16d

i store the bulk of it outside, but tbh i haven't really had any issues with vermin from the wood, maybe because i wait until it's a bit later in the year to start bringing it inside? i'm mostly burning spruce+tamarack and i cut it it down before it gets too buggy

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 17d

all my bones hurt, and i don't ever want to think about chainsaws ever again, but the payoff is worth it 😌 weird to think that ~5 years ago this place had a collapsed roof, dry rot, a broken furnace, and a density of mice like unto the degenerate matter at the heart of a neutron star 💪😏

a POV of where im sitting on the couch in my living room looking at a toasty little fire in a wood burning stove, a big stack of wood on the shelf beside me, a fluffy cat sprawled on the floor, and a coffee mug dead center held by me. this place (a mobile home with an addition) was my childhood home and it sat unoccupied for 20 years, until the vagaries of fate tore down the miserable little life i'd made in the Big City (Edmonton lmao) and inveigled me to either rebuild these ruins with my own two hands or live in an RV until i died

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 20d

thanks to government shutdown it redirected me to tubgirl instead >:0

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 20d

wtf where did my left sinus go?!?!?! no wonder i have tinnitus and don't smell so good!

went to the dentist today to pay fat stacks of cash to get them to CB/CT (cock ball/cock torture?) my head and also it revealed that my sinus cavities are filled with sawdust/nanites/brain-wormz

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · 25d

sure, i may have a BA in English, but my true passion is grueling physical labour ᕦ⁠(⁠ò⁠_⁠ó⁠ˇ⁠)⁠ᕤ

my hand throwing up th' horns in front of a big old stack of wood from all these dead spruce trees i've been cutting down at my parent's place, the whack perspective doesn't quite convey how fuxking big some of these logs are!

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Sep 22

i'm not holding an invisible gun, officer, i'm indicating the cool new stripe of white hair i noticed whilst brushing my teeth. and yes my phone is held together with duct tape and elastic bands, is that a crime now? this is democracy manifest! get your hand off my penis!

a selfie of myself in the bathroom mirror pointing at a streak of white hair on my noggin, while holding a cellphone held together with duct tape and elastic bands, because im classy like that :3

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Sep 21

i took a break from bsky/twitter to gather firewood to heat my hovel o'er the cruel winter yet to come (i am serf-maxxing) and also so i wouldn't yell at so many losers on the internet, and i was (mildly) successful on both fronts! i also broke a chainsaw! more to follow!

my outstretched hand, pale as a grub, pointing with grim intent at a lowly spruce tree, and to the right of my hand is a lovely Husqvarna 120 Mark II chainsaw resting on a sawed log, this is environmental storytelling to indicate that i am going to cut the spruce down and dismember it's corpse and burn him bones to keep my kitties from freezing solid

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Sep 11

a moment of silence to commemorate the assassination of Salvador Allende, the democratically elected Marxist leader of Chile, murdered by the US&A on September 11th 1973

some other stuff happened on 9/11 but the assassination of Allende is more important >:3

a black and white photo of Salvador Allende,the president of Chile from 1970 to 1973, RIP buddy ;__;

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

it feels so good and i usually turn a profit with all the coins and forgotten CBD gummies i unearth from beneath the seats (i found a mummified mouse once, that wasn't as much fun as the gummies)

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

*estradiol shoots out your nose cartoonishly*

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

if disliking podcasting is a test of morality then you can call me Adolph H-- um, that is to say, uh, and now a word from our sponsors!

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

sometimes when i'm irritated at the world i'm like "oh who gives a shit" and then the little rhetorical angel on my shoulder whispers "you, it's you, dumbass" and i just want to strangle the little jerk >:0

Maddy "Boo!" Hare @mbhare.bsky.social · Aug 22

sometimes I just look at the world and think "who even cares" but then, infuriatingly, I remember that *I* care. ugh!!!

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Reposted by marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️

🏳️‍⚧️🐸Time Wizard Melissa Catastrophe🐸🏳️‍⚧️ @jansjo.bsky.social · Aug 22

fast food places should do breakfast again from noon to 2 for those of us with reasonable sleep schedules (wakes up at 1:15pm)

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

i was chewing on Geoffy's ears, but in a loving way :3

a orange cats face peeps out from underneath my face, and i've got my arms wrapped around the tiny beast like a python of love

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 22

time for my world-famous pedicure!

my hand holding onto my freshly-sharpened Husqvarna 120 Mk II chainsaw! also i'm wearing my exercising pandas pyjama pants, which i don't wear while chainsawing because i wear kevlar chaps because chainsaws are terrifyingly powerful

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 20

🫂 this is good shit, Tyler, you're a great writer. i don't think my BA in English has ever felt as useless as it does these days

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 20

probably best to avoid AliExpress and Temu >:3

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 20

i can't trust myself with such power, i'm so easily corrupted by my idle whims

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marshwort 🏳️‍⚧️ @marshwort.bsky.social · Aug 20

oh lord i didn't look at the price, that's way way too much cash to drown myself in a tangle of bendy plastic, i could wrap myself in a tarp and jump in a lake for like $20 easy

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