Author | Lightnews

Loansey Jonesy

@loanseyjonesy.bsky.social

550 followers 430 following 5.6K posts

Tune in to learn how one man’s bad posting will affect your weekend. But first, a fashion show for King Charles spaniels?

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · Jun 5

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 7h

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 8h

War and Peace is going to be a leaflet in comparison.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 8h

History and tradition.

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 8h

We all know who it was.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 8h

Everything aside, what’s Tim’s problem with buying bread at a grocery store?

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 8h

Ok I’m tempted to go in on this one.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 9h

Congratulations everyone, we just created Seinfeld from first principles

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 9h

There are more conventional options, it has to be said.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 9h

Tonight on A Middle Aged Man Travels with Dignity, I check in to a 4 star hotel and have the front desk make a dinner reservation following a visit to a reputable spa.

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 9h

She’s quite excited about this and I’m doing my best not to take it from her

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 10h

It does actually taste like eggs

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 10h

Dorian Yates inbound.

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 10h

You know I’ve had the same thought.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 10h

My wife just fed me chocolate pudding mixed with hard boiled eggs

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 11h

Ya but egg watcher isn’t on that flight. Think he’s worried about falling out of the sky.

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 11h

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 12h

Well if/when you talk to your brothers friends wife’s bestie’s cousin colleague next, you can tell her the poaster formerly known as shed remembers.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 12h

I seem to recall a conversation between us and I remain convinced it got sold. Don’t remember details, but there was several moments where it was clear that user never worked in industry

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 12h

You can’t expect a high school girl or Russian troll nest to know the ins and outs of the Protocols

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 12h

One of the interactions I wish I had saved from the platform where everything happens is BankingSlut telling me that the Soros conspiracy is not antisemitic in any way.

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 13h

Oh good political journalists are talking about shorts.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 13h

Here’s my pitch

It’s like an idiot abroad, and in place of the practical jokes and lampoonery, we make me really comfortable.

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 15h

I’ve decided to give up my job sending emails to people instructing them to reply; I will instead be starting a travel food show where I take long expensive train rides using OPM and look into the camera while I go “this is really good, food, you should try this someday”.

Accepting term sheets

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Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 14h

@donaldtrump are you seeing this shit

Loansey Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 14h

This is going to make the rounds in all the circles we don’t want it too

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