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Machine Pun Kelly

@kellyscaletta.bsky.social

180K followers 72K following 12K posts

America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · Feb 1

I should make this my pined post. Here is a link to all my help videos, starting with the first one.

I've done four in total so far.

1. Intro and basics.
2. More about setting up feeds and lists.
3. 10 Tips and Tools
4. Gain engagement.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_V2...

BlueSky for Beginners

YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly

www.youtube.com

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Reposted by Machine Pun Kelly

DMC ❌👑 @dcombes.bsky.social · 1h

Saturday, we’re having a large Antifa meeting! All members are included. Make sure to bring posters, Frog suits & know the password. 😀

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 59m

I have been to Winnipeg, but never had it.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 1h

Do you guys eat turkey?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 1h

Bring a case of water and pop the trunk where people can grab a bottle. Maybe snacks too!

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 1h

Will there be signs?

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 1h

Anyone got plans for this Saturday?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 2h

To be fair, my name is a content warning.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 3h

How come you can't cross a parrot with an ox?

Because you'd create a parrot-ox.

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Reposted by Machine Pun Kelly

Freedom of the Press Foundation @freedom.press · 7h

John Oliver sounded the alarm this week on how secret donations to presidential libraries provide cover for bribery. We couldn’t agree more.

It’s time to close the library loophole — and you can help.

Read this story and much more in our secrecy newsletter, The Classifieds.

John Oliver rips presidential library loophole

Plus: There shouldn’t be secret law. Pam Bondi didn’t get the memo

freedom.press

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 3h

How is it racist? I can smell Donald Trump over the Internet.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 5h

How come I can smell Kash Patel over the internet?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 6h

She laughed.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 6h

Nope. It's the AC cranked up to the max.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 6h

You know your wife is going through menopause when you wake up in the morning and see your breath.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 8h

Get your "I am not a terrorist!" t-shirts for the No Kings parade. Or you can get your who cut the cheese charcuterie board.

the-pun-store.printify.me

Discover Our Exclusive Range at The Pun Store

Store of The Pun Store.

the-pun-store.printify.me

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 8h

What's the first thing Stephen Miller does when he wakes up?

Pushes the lid open.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 9h

True story: I had a friend from England who once sat on a flight next to an American. Told him he was from Great Britain and they talked about it the entire flight.

Near the end, the American said, "I have to say, you speak really good English for a foreigner."

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 9h

We don't need no foreign languages here sir!

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 9h

I'm going to create a new sauce and call it Beshter sauce.

My slogan will be "You've had the worcestershire, now have the Beshter.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11h

I don't think Russia had much to do with it, but deregulation of monopolies sure did.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11h

I think the number 425 million might be a little off there since that's about 100 million more people than live here. Did you mean 42.5 million?

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11h

If I pour tabasco sauce in my eyes, will it make the pain of watching this game go away?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 12h

What are the odds that Stephen Miller sprays spittle everywhere when he rants?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 13h

What road?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 13h

I haven't been this shocked since I threw an apple in the air and then it came back down.

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