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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢

@kalansphantomff.bsky.social

660 followers 300 following 7.5K posts

Pfp by Inkirtis. Banner by SailorsRuin A little insane, a little chaotic, the horny half of Hingeless and Horny. 3 Million words and counting of gay pirates on A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalansPhantom/works

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · Oct 21

archiveofourown.org/users/Kalans...

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 3h

Take a mental health day and they change the lights....to two different colors. This does not help the brain!

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 4h

No, kalan, do not write disastor boys in an ode to Truth by Godsmack.

Gremlin Kalan: It literally has the line "we only have one life."

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 6h

I've heard whispers that Hard Disciplines is nearly ready to update, art is finished, now to do a final run through. >.>

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Reposted by KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢

Dr. Briana Jackson 🏴‍☠️ @baladria.bsky.social · 19h

Back on my bullshit, i.e., I've opened PRE-ORDERS again of the Egyptian OFMD complete trading card deck! Open now through Nov. 15.

Shipping worldwide from USA. Sorry about shipping costs, but they're increasing this month through the rest of the year because of course they are 🙄 #OFMD #ShopOFMD

PRE-ORDER Egyptian OFMD Trading Card Deck - Briana Jackson's Ko-fi Shop

This is a PRE-ORDER! Preorders close November 15. This deck of 3x5-inch trading cards features 28 OFMD characters drawn in ancient Egyptian art style...

ko-fi.com

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 18h

Welcome to Tarte Tatin. We made it at last, time to see what choices Stede and Ed have made, and where it'll lead. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 22h

Maybe tonight 🍐🍐?

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 23h

Remy wishes to bless the timeline with his purrs.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Cats can be SO dramatic about it too! The horror is truly real.

KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

People who talk about clipping dog nails as dramatic, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED UNTIL YOU HAVE CLIPPED BIRD NAILS. Just did the conures and one kept going "Gimme kiss? GIMME KISS!? MWAH MWAH" in a desperate attempt at begging to be spared. Now he wants no kisses, only sadness at his dull talons.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Aww they just wanna be all sweet and warm to spite you.

KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Smut HARDERER!

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

You have to be creative with how you let people experience pain and pleasure.

And the warden sang
Come on somebody
Why don't you run?
Ol' Red's itchin' to have a little fun
Get my lantern, get my gun
Red'll have you treed before the mornin' comes

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

a woman wearing a purple shirt and a tiara with the nbc logo on the bottom right

ALT: a woman wearing a purple shirt and a tiara with the nbc logo on the bottom right

media.tenor.com

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
Never knew how much that muddy water meant to me
But I learned how to swim and I learned who I was
A lot about living and a little 'bout love

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Back on my late 90s country music kick, please send thoughts and strength to my long suffering wife as I scream-sing Chattahoochee

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Aaaaa so excited! Now to split them up between my home office and work office!

KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

This weekends header.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Happy #WipWednesday have a little Acts of Contrition, in which Lucius is back from his honeymoon.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Scratch that, Tarte Tatin may be 100% done. Seeking a second opinion before I confirm it. 👀

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Make ya'll put together a work excuse note: "KP cannot come to work today because she needs to write enough smut to cause a run on lube and batteries"

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 1d

Accomplished today:

100% Acts of Contrition (Mass on Sunday, children)
90% Hard Disciplines
50% of my Big Bang
80% Tarte Tatin

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Reposted by KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢

something @ourfag.bsky.social · Jul 25

anyway what i meant to say is

Digital drawing of Slede (slime Stede) half-engulfing Ed from behind—he's formed a slenis (slime penis) over Ed's t-dick, and Ed's jerking it off. There are ripples inside indicating that the slime is transferring the sensations from Ed's hand down through itself to the base. "Well?" Stede says. "Holy fuck," Ed says. "Everything it's cracked up to be?" Stede says, even though the expression on his face is insufferably gleeful like he knows full well Ed is finding it everything it's cracked up to be.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 2d

*SIGH* Mr. Boombastic, I don't know why, it won't get out of my head. It just lives there now.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 2d

I declare today and tomorrow a state of No Pants.

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KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢 @kalansphantomff.bsky.social · 2d

When your work pisses you off so you decide to take a couple of mental health days writing smut. On the docket for today:

Hard Disciplines
Big Bang
Tarte Tatin

Also realized I've spent the last 10 months working an average of 50-70 hours per week. Ugh.

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