Author | Lightnews

Johnny Killoran

Johnny Killoran

@johnnykilloran.com

640 followers 610 following 1.8K posts

Too many staggering cinematic accomplishments to list, including minor award-winning short film School Nights and ancient Disney masterpiece Minutemen. https://linktr.ee/johnnykilloran

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Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 10h

oh no if Canada takes baseball they’re gonna make it have ties

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 2d

After only having visited the “conservative” Texas cities (your Houstons, your Dallases, etc.), I finally set foot in Austin, where I have long been told that my progressive liberal values fly freely—WHAT THE SHIT

A huge, horrifying statue in Austin, Texas, that says all this shit on the placard:

SOUTHERN
CONFEDERAGY FORMED BY FOLLOWING STATES WITHORAWING FROM THE UNION
SOUTH CAROLINA
DECEMBER
TWENTIETH
TANTEEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY
ONFEDERATE DEAD
DIED
FOR STATE RIGHTS
GUARANTEED UNDER THE CONSTITUTION.
THE PEOPLE DF THE SOUTH, ANIMATED BY TEE SPIRIT OF 1778, TO PRESERVE THEIR RISHTS, WITHOREW FROM THE FEDERAL COMPACT IN 1661
THE NORTIE HESORTED TO COERCION.
THE SOUTH, AGAINST OVERWHELNING WUNDERS AND RESOURGES, FOUBET UNTIL EXHAUSTED,
DURING THE WARTHERE WERE TWENTY TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN ENGAGEMERTE:
IN EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND EIGHTY TWO DF THESE, AT LEAST ONE REGIMENT TOBA PAST.
NUMBER OF MEN ENLISTEO:
DONFEDERATE AMIES, 600,080; FEDERAL ARMIES, 2,859,133.
LOSSES FROM ALL CAUSES:
CONFEDERATE: 437,0001 FEDERAL,

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 3d

In a rare show of bipartisanship. the Trump (R) administration has so far raised $250 million in defense of Graham Platner's (D) tattoo (N).

Reposted by Johnny Killoran

maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 3d

person with full tattoo sleeve: So this used to say JEN but then Jen and I broke up so I went straight out and was like just make this anything else and the guy did this so now it's like a whole design, just anything to cover the Jen thing up

person with nazi tattoo: idk lol

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

c'mon, the Dodgers are as American as apple pie

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

Nice win, there, little Canadian baseball team. Now you will face our great city of Los Angeles, USA, and the all-American force that is Shohei Ohtani (b. Mizusawa, Iwate).

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

this but unironically

Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 4d

now it is time for us to turn to another inspiring underdog story: The Mike Vrabel New England Patriots

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

Nice win, there, little Canadian baseball team. Now you will face our great city of Los Angeles, USA, and the all-American force that is Shohei Ohtani (b. Mizusawa, Iwate).

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

Professional Male Athlete Identify Your Wife in a Photo of a Group of Professional Athlete’s Wives that You Only Get to Look at for a Second Challenge

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

the people who brought you “SOMEHOW THE EMPEROR HAS RETURNED” have notes on logic

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

Christ, Canada—I was *just* implicitly singing your praises and then Ontario runs an ad putting Ronald Reagan in a positive light?

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

I normally enjoy high-stakes games in which I have no emotional investment but this Toronto-Seattle situation has me twisted. Toronto hasn’t been to the WS in a long time, but Seattle’s *never* been! Baseball is America’s game, but America currently sucks! Little Vlad Jr. in an Expos uni! Et cetera.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

I've only recently adjusted to the fact that a "Jr." to an MLB player from my adulthood is also an MLB player. There should be a league rule to address oversensitive mortality-obsessives like me: fake name until like their sixth season, when they're allowed a dramatic reveal of the real one.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 4d

how can that movie be so great yet always first bring to mind a big ol' bag of big bread (wait did I just answer my own question)

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 5d

oh, I almost forgot: Crispin Glover’s latest directorial effort is many things—some good, some bad, and—most accidentally—a slightly more successful version of MEGALOPOLIS.

A review of No! YOU'RE WRONG. or: Spooky Action at a Distance (2025)

Without hyperbole: a cinematic experience like no other. (Caveats: this particular cinematic experience included a one-man show by Crispin Glover performing live readings of several of his novellas be...

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 5d

Watching these Patriots games is starting to feel strange. I had understood for the last several years that all of the elite professional athletes were on *other* teams.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 5d

(I like that I’m so tired I misspelled my own name in the ALT text)

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 5d

Keepin’ it crispy after 2am. The best time for Crispin Glover (not so much the best time for Johnny).

Crispin Glover on left, looking much less tired and out of sorts than Jonny Killoran on right; Johnny looks that way because it’s like two-thirty in the morning at the time of the photograph.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 6d

oh you haven’t read this? yeah anyway I have a numbered limited edition copy I guess I’m just more committed to art or whatever—your words not mine

my limited edition hardback copy of ‘Round My House’ by Crispin Hellion Glover, which I had definitely heard of before purchasing it twenty minutes prior to this post

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 6d

it is upon us

Aero (theater in Santa Monica) marquee: “CRISPIN
“HELLION
GLOVER”

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 6d

true horror

a song on Spotify, “Dracula’s Deuce” by The Ghouls

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 6d

NFL injury reports need to incorporate a more empathetic angle. Less "(knee) QUESTIONABLE," "(ankle) OUT"; more "(scared) PROBABLE."

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 7d

I stand by my take!

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 7d

I was struck by the film’s unintentional existence as a swan song for the capital-M Movie Star. There’s a M.S. in that movie who just knows how to hold her head in the frame, and another person too young to have “needed” to learn stuff like that. The latter gets their doors blown off by the former.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 7d

really up in the air whether or not Shohei Ohtani is Good At Baseball.

Johnny Killoran @johnnykilloran.com · 7d

Sorry about the Brewers, @redlettermedia.com. I may be a Los Angeles resident, but I also admire underdogs. Also I don’t really care too much about the Dodgers because I was raised as a Masshole Red Sox fan. Pouring out a diet soda for your boys. (I am also sober because alcoholism. See: Masshole)