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Constance Whew Chile (he/him)

@jmaylax.bsky.social

1.2K followers 770 following 12K posts

I couldn’t help but wonder why you were not following me and just like that you did. Jessica Fletcher is the blueprint. I climbed Mount Everest to reach the Valley of the Dolls. DMs encouraged

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 10h

Thirty something gays when you don’t post your own Gay Death

Old lady telling Sophia that it’s selfish of her not to be dead

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 11h

Me seeing the photo but not the caption and I figure out the second word

a woman wearing a colorful dress and earrings is sitting on a couch

Alt: a woman wearing a colorful dress and earrings is sitting on a couch

media.tenor.com

Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 13h

Y’all fuck too many daddies to even entertain the notion of Gay Death being 30

Mama Pao looking confused surprised etc doubtful on judging panel

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 13h

You: I’m Gay Dead, single and over 30

Me, 42 and single:

a black and white photo of a man with a stethoscope around his neck screaming .

Alt: a black and white photo of a man with a stethoscope around his neck screaming .

media.tenor.com

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 15h

It’s very camp that one of my best friends is married and has a kid but his profile pic is still the two of us lol

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 15h

The four horsemen of my apocalypse

Della Reese, Ann Miller, Ethel Merman and Carol Channing on the Love Boat

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 15h

Describes all my straight guy friends honestly

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 16h

a woman is talking to a man on a red carpet and says well yes .

Alt: a woman is talking to a man on a red carpet and says well yes .

media.tenor.com

Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

It’s never too early in the week to dissociate, divas

Samantha Jones being annoyed by a man at a wedding

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

When the person ahead of you buys the last pumpkin bar

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

Part of my morning routine

Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

That album is still iconic. Like it’s the a great breakup album. Trust a Try and Truth are such good deep cuts

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

All for you

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

One of the best episodes in f the series and I speak as an unofficial Jessica Fletcher historian

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 1d

The Life of a Showgirl*

*worker bee trying to survive late stage capitalism

Me in a floral print and red and silver bow tie

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

It scratches that JCPenney Holiday Catalog itch

Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

I cannot be the only home of sectional walking around their house belting "THE SPIDER WOMAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

a woman standing next to a couch with the words where 's my heating pad written on it

Alt: a woman standing next to a couch with the words where 's my heating pad written on it

media.tenor.com

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

Lil Mama in her own version of a Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds commercial

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

May need more evidence

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

When he asks you if you want this 🥜 on a Sunday

Mariah Carey song Jesus I do from her latest album Here For It All

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

I’m just saying!

Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

Lunell’s Wario

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

I know she had a killer set on Comic View in 1998

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Constance Whew Chile (he/him) @jmaylax.bsky.social · 2d

Cary Elwes couldn’t hold out for a Robin Hood Men in Tights sequel