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james bread 🍞

@jimpixelbeard.bsky.social

1.1K followers 690 following 3.8K posts

I'm easily distracted with bread. 🥳🥳🥳🥳 aspirational birdwatcher, professional day-dreamer. i'm basically a heretic. neurospicy af. chief petty chaos goblin. 🥺 please no DM's 🤗

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 2m

The wheels aren't the feet of the car, you dummy (me). The wheels are the wheels of a car.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 38m

I think my brain shorted out after my last breakdown if I'm being honest.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 1h

I mean. Lobster is bugs and they think raw milk is a good idea so 🤷🏾

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 3h

"How you gon' gentrify a community and still get evicted?"

[Deleted]

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 13h

I've never liked when people would tell me shit like that. I just ask, "What am I supposed to sound like and why do you think that?"

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 13h

The whole idea that a hospital should be making money is fucking crazy.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 14h

I already hate it. They had better not build a big old monument to white supremacy and make us pay for it.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 14h

I just found out 1000 people got stuck on Mt Everest last week. When are y'all gonna stop fucking with The Warp?

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 15h

The only way through salvation is through me, but the me is Trump cuz he thinks he's God. Was Jesus an authoritarian?

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 16h

Hair is just a bunch of tiny long nails.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 16h

My favorite part about this is that the orcas most likely did that cuz they were bored and they thought it would be funny.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 17h

Okay.. that's very funny to me. I know that it's not supposed to be funny, but that's too stupid not to laugh at. I bet if I laughed in her face for saying that 2nd grade ass-shit to me her face would melt off with anger.

Angry @angrystaffer.bsky.social · 20h

Who thinks this shit is cute?

We’re being governed via meme, and it’s embarrassing.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 17h

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it was funny. That shit is hilarious. I mean.. it's not good, but it is funny.

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 21h

He was always just one of those people I disliked for no discernable reason. Then he started laughing and never stopped.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 21h

Mine was like that too! He never quite understood how big he was while at the same time forgetting I could just pick him up if he was somewhere I didn't want him to be.

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 21h

The ends always justify the means.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 21h

They are the best. They're absolutely snuggle monsters.

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 22h

I still don't understand why people like Jimmy Fallon.

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 22h

I love Pit Bulls. You know what? Now I think about it.. probably my favorite. My first dog was a pitbull-german shepherd mix and he was the best. 😊

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james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 22h

I would love for us to stop breaking all of the shittiest records every all the time. This winning shit is for the birds.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 22h

It's really upsetting to know that I have enemies that I don't know and don't know me or that I exist, but they want me dead all the same. Well.. how are you gonna know God loves you if you aren't in a constant state of fear and dread, amirite? 🫠

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 1d

STOP!

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 1d

They bought out a store called Chick's which is very funny.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 1d

Probably believing God gave me the divine right to rule.

james bread 🍞 @jimpixelbeard.bsky.social · 1d

I haven't heard of that one. I'm gonna look that up.