Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
25 followers
6 following
29 posts
Writer, cartoonist, relatively fun | jackloftus.com
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"This nation’s Young Republicans are more than just veteran political operatives and attorneys: they’re kids. And sometimes, kids say the wrong things. They can’t be held responsible for using slurs 251 times in just under 8 months."
Young Republican Kids Say the Darndest Things
“Thousands of private messages reveal young GOP leaders joking about gas chambers, slavery, and rape…. Vice President JD Vance downplayed [the] bi...
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STORY: ORANGE MAN LIE AGAIN
OLD WAY: “CRITICS SAY STATEMENT MAY BE MISLEADING.”
ANIMAL WAY: HIT KICK DRUM, YELL “LIE!” HIT TAMBOURINE, WHISPER “but other side lie too” IN SOFTEST MIKE JOHNSON VOICE.
OLD WAY: “CRITICS SAY STATEMENT MAY BE MISLEADING.”
ANIMAL WAY: HIT KICK DRUM, YELL “LIE!” HIT TAMBOURINE, WHISPER “but other side lie too” IN SOFTEST MIKE JOHNSON VOICE.
“AAAGGGHHH!!!” A Memo from Animal, Your New Editor-in-Chief
“[Editor-in-chief of CBS News] Bari Weiss told network staffers in a morning editorial call that she wants to ‘win’ before delivering a rallying cr...
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"WE MAKE NEWS LOUDER. IF STORY GOOD ON ONE SIDE, SHOW OTHER SIDE TOO. OTHER SIDE WRONG? OTHER SIDE WANT BLEACH IN VEINS? ANIMAL RUN BOTH. REPORT BOTH SIDES. EVEN WHEN ONE SIDE THINK HEAD MEDS MAKE QUIET BABIES."
“AAAGGGHHH!!!” A Memo from Animal, Your New Editor-in-Chief
“[Editor-in-chief of CBS News] Bari Weiss told network staffers in a morning editorial call that she wants to ‘win’ before delivering a rallying cr...
buff.ly
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· 29d
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· 29d
Brilliance from @mcsweeneys.net: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ign...
Ignorance Isn’t the Absence of Knowledge; It Is the Presence of Maximum Comfort
“We are going to have to live here with one another, believing what we believe, disagreeing in the ways we disagree… To recognize that does not mea...
www.mcsweeneys.net
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· 29d
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Sep 18
"Is this willful blindness dressed as philosophy? Perhaps. But isn’t willful blindness, at scale, the churning engine of unbridled optimism?"
Ignorance Isn’t the Absence of Knowledge; It Is the Presence of Maximum Comfort
“We are going to have to live here with one another, believing what we believe, disagreeing in the ways we disagree… To recognize that does not mea...
buff.ly
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Aug 29
"Dunkin’ is the coffee now. The only coffee. Nationalized beans. Federally tilled fields. And all of it running through your clogged, brittle veins like a dark-roasted firehose of unfiltered patriotism."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ame...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ame...
America Now Really Does Run on Dunkin’
“The Trump administration is considering taking stakes in defense contractors, including Lockheed Martin Corp, U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutni...
www.mcsweeneys.net
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Jul 29
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Jul 21
"A man sits in a boat. He is not old. He is not young. He has not paid taxes in thirteen years. The bait is old. The stench hangs like a debt. He lowers the line. The camera does not cut. The fish does not come. This is the entire episode." #HappyBirthdayHemingway
Ernest Hemingway’s Shark Week
There was a time when a man did not film the fish. You learned about the shark when you saw it break the surface. The shark is not interested in ra...
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Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Jun 12
"I love each new day, what it might bring, the possibilities, the joy of the unknown. One thing is certain, though, and that’s the yelling I will do out of my beak hole in the stillness of dawn, every single day."
Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
Wake up my sleepy mouth-breather, it’s 4:01 a.m. and I feel chatty! I might be small but I’m a warm-blooded lunatic and I’m right outside your bedr...
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Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Jun 2
"Repeat this mantra as your prescription is denied on religious grounds: Everyone dies. Everyone dies. Everyone dies. Let the liberals weep, for you are free and clear, though not in the medical sense, of course."
The Zen of Dying Quietly, and Other Teachings by Senator Joni Ernst
“Republican Sen. Joni Ernst faced a number of agitated constituents at a town hall on Friday who expressed concerns that the Republicans’ cuts to M...
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Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Apr 8
"Sometimes the cure doesn’t feel like a cure. Sometimes the medicine doesn’t feel like healing. Sometimes it feels like 52,310 long tons of British steel smooching an iceberg that wants what's good for you."
“This Will Be Good for You”: A Few Words from the Iceberg That Sank the Titanic
“President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariff plans hammered global financial markets and U.S. stocks braced for more turmoil on Monday, after he warne...
www.mcsweeneys.net
Jack
@jackloftus.bsky.social
· Jan 23
