Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Headlines McMuffin

@headlinesmc.bsky.social

3.2K followers 2.7K following 2.6K posts

Satire. Today’s headlines and opinion with a 1940’s tabloid look. Road to 3,187 followers. Pritzker for president? 🇺🇦

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 3d

Inspector Clouseau: “A bimp.” “A what?” “A bimp.”

Banner news headline - Marjorie Taylor Greene bumps her head and undergoes an instant conversion, blaming the GOP for the government shutdown. An analyst describes her as “neutral, like Helen Crump.”

2 2

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1h

He’s batshit crazy.

Reposted by Headlines McMuffin

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 5h

Once upon a time there were a generation full of Italian truck drivers who only knew, “You a-stop-a.”

Banner news headline - a report that the Department of Transportation is pulling off the road vital truck drivers who “don’t know no english.”

2 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 5h

Your partner looks like Gene Hackman!

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 5h

Once upon a time there were a generation full of Italian truck drivers who only knew, “You a-stop-a.”

2 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 5h

But Trump pardoned a prison wing full of right wing rioters from J6.

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 8h

What a concept: A White House ballroom with a McDonald’s-style kitchen.

Banner news headline - a report that wealthy donors to the new White House ballroom were served fast food dinners.

1 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 11h

Lol same 😂

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

Our bartender is also our airline pilot. A toast to you and prepare for takeoff 😇

2 5

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

Secret Agent Donald Trump, Agent 86.

Banner news headline - the CIA, it’s cover blown already, reminds Trump that they asked he not mention their upcoming secret mission.

2 4

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 22h

Ohh that was way back in 2025 🤔

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Wow it was a slap in the face to George and must have made the Singapore win extra special. I have the F1 app where I watch the race weekends. But they don’t focus on the drama - prob at F1’s demand.

1 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Did Mercedes really go after Max? That wasn’t publicized (for obvious reasons).

1 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

F1 seat assignments are a mystery. Why would you not sign George Russell? Why on earth did Ferrari release Carlos Sainz for an aging Hamilton?

1 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

If Sean Duffy can run NASA and the FAA, then Trump can run the US and Israel.

Banner news headline - Trump is the first president to run two countries, running the US as well as Israel, ready to tell them when to fight.

1 3 4

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

This is like the biggest news of the day. How I have wished that the European Union would do the same for Steve Bannon.

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Great piece, Aaron.

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Yes we would ☹️

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

But doesn’t congress…never mind 😵‍💫

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Photograph or painting? 👀

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Well, he’s taken over the government.

Banner news headline - Trump is serving as president, congressman, and senator all rolled into one. He picks and chooses funds from the treasury and Republicans are doing nothing to stop him.

1 1

Reposted by Headlines McMuffin

Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 2d

410 3.1K 14K

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

So Trump is using wind energy to dry his clothes 🤔

Banner news headline - With ICE deporting immigrants who did the president’s laundry, the White House is reduced to drying Trump’s clothes on a clothesline behind the White House.

1 2

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Lord, even the coal industry knows the game is up.

Banner news headline - the Energy Department strangles a near-completed Nevada solar project by ordering the solar panels moved indoors.

1 1

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 2d

The last politician to make that prediction was…a Republican.

Banner news headline - Trump expects to personally disarm Hamas and predicts, in a now famous line, “We’ll be greeted like liberators”

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 2d

“Just help yourself to what’s on the table” 😂