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Bee™️

@haillemmy.bsky.social

1K followers 960 following 9.1K posts

Feral but functional. 🏳️‍🌈 https://b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com

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Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · Jul 18

I promised that you would all eventually get to read the story of how I stole a monkey for a man.

Well...

Here it is.

The Baboon Job.

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com/chapter-5-th...

Chapter 5: The Baboon Job

Mwanza Tanzania 2009

b-e-jacobssen.medium.com

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 1h

Those two are definitely up to no good.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 2h

Bingo!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 5h

You’re most welcome!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 5h

The nerve of some people who can’t stand seeing a woman having a good time.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 5h

To the woman silently judging me in the Market Basket parking lot while I ate mini Snickers and dill pickles in my car like it was my last meal on Earth:

You’re lucky I was wearing pants.

AND

Mind your fucking business.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

Oh, I stopped thinking about the damage those fumes did to me over the course of 17 years.

I’m surprised my brain simply hasn’t melted.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

Yeah. We’re in the same age group so we definitely got some solid lead exposure early on in life.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

Yeah, you’re probably right.

Plus, I’d have to leave the house and that would necessitate me wearing pants and that is a bridge too far at 10pm.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

Speak for yourself.

My microplastics are breeding!

There’s a vibrant colony inside my brain that is (not so) slowly driving me insane.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

Fuck. Now I want a beer and a smoke.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

I miss the early 00’s.

We knew all that shit was bad for us but we didn’t care.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

That’s a universal truth right there.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

I was an unfiltered Lucky Strike person for years.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 18h

I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss smoking.

I’m glad I quit (ages ago) but there are times when I’m tempted to start back up again.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

I hope I live long enough to see what kids say about our generation when we’re old.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

That’s where the flavor is!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

No skincare, no sunscreen, and everyone smoked.

It's amazing how much older *everyone* looked.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 19h

Oh, I wish I could still behave like that.

My body would revolt.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 20h

Eh, it's why I like you.

Don't ever change.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 20h

Talk radio, even in the best times, is infuriating.

I treat it like booze. Very small doses and never on back-to-back days.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 20h

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 20h

Don't pay any attention to him. He's just a cranky crusty crab.

The offseason is *almost* as much fun as the season. All of the trade and free agent speculation makes the winter go by faster.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 23h

I mean…technically she’s correct.

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 1d

Five months until Opening Day 2026!

Bee™️ @haillemmy.bsky.social · 1d

Bland peanuts are a crime!