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Greeneville Zoo

@greenevillezoo.bsky.social

11K followers 34 following 820 posts

Not affiliated with the Greeneville Pet Cemetery

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · Apr 13

go.bsky.app/HmSpfY9

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 6h

We don't know the health effects of drinking hippo bath water. All we know is the people selling it outside the south gate are not zoo employees.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 23h

The rats don't make the logo. Talk to Hildette about the rats.

Hildette the zoo guide wearing her skull and bones eye patch.

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d

Yes. Koalas have pouches, but those pouches can't compete with the sex appeal of a Greeneville Zoo fanny pack.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 1d

Notice anything new in our Australian enclosure? That’s right, to prevent inter-species jealousy, our koalas now sport fanny packs.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 2d

❤️

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 2d

❤️ [chimp emoji]

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 2d

Please stop asking if you can see the Secret Chimp. You don't see the Secret Chimp. The Secret Chimp sees you.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 2d

Our macaws are good talkers, but more importantly they're great listeners.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3d

Last time Redville Zoo advertised a good time, they were shut down by ATF and the Board Of Health.

Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 3d

You can't tariff a good time!
Visit Redville Zoo.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 3d

Little known zoo fact: Chet the chimp moonlights at local elementary schools checking kids for lice.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 4d

The Zoo’s werewolf enclosure is open during the full moon but honestly we wouldn’t risk it.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d

It's World Octopus Day! These magnificent creatures have 9 brains, 8 arms, 3 hearts, and they hunt sharks. What are you even doing with your life?

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 5d

You may experience intermittent squawking in your head as you enjoy the bird exhibit but don’t be alarmed. It’s just Tevin, our telepathic toucan.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 6d

A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline with tentacled head, scaly body, rudimentary wings and prodigious claws, a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. This October, only at Greeneville Zoo!

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d

The White House finally released the Harambe Files. As he lay dying, his caretaker says he signed the following.

"Death is but the next great adventure, but I don't know what I fear more, to descend to a hell of swans or ascend to a heaven of meerkats."

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 7d

We are not affiliated with Greenpeace. Whoever put their logo on our website, please take it off.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d

Exactly

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 8d

Contrary to myth, it's not bacteria that makes Komodo Dragons' mouths so dangerous. It's their biting sarcasm.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 9d

We already have a goat that can't hit 3's

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 9d

For Halloween, we're celebrating our masked animals: raccoons, red pandas, and that one gibbon who won’t take off the rubber Nixon mask, no matter how often we ask.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 10d

Well duh

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 10d

We also hate to spread gossip, but we heard that all of Redville's ticket sales fund a laundromat that burned down 5 years ago.

Redville Zoo @redvillezoo.bsky.social · 10d

We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 10d

Stop by the gift shop to check out our cool new merch. We are saving up to buy a rhinoceros.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 11d

Goodbye Zak

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 11d

Dave's busy downing a bowl of soup

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