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Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell

@gazzalw63.bsky.social

2.3K followers 1.6K following 7.5K posts

Historian, Mitcham's greatest Satirist, West Northumbrian, Centre left, Woke, Pro-EU, Nazi Hater. NUFC fan since 1969. Wargamer, YouTube creator, Tolkien fan, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, comedian and father of 2. Bit silly but don't care. Gemini.

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Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 3h

Feanor still regrets the loss of the Silmarils to be fair.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 3h

Only if the Cunt profits from it.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 3h

Impetuous twat with hot headed Leofwine fell for William‘s feigned flight and that was where it all unraveled.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 3h

Hear hear, the Loss of the Zambian team was an absolute tragedy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1993_Za...

1993 Zambia national football team plane crash - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

Pele also predicted that one day an African country would win the World Cup.

Cameroon came close in Italia 90 as we all know. Nigeria often threaten, the Black Stars are in with a shout. Cote Ivoire had their day.

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Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

Or El Salvador for 25 years.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

More than Lineker, Charlton and Rooney and I don’t begrudge him at all.

If he’d stayed in England he’d have passed Shearer too which would have really pained me.

But Supermac‘s 5 goals against Cyprus still stands, so there’s always that.

Harry is an Athletico Mince Legend.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

So one is Willie, who are the other two?

Cecil?

Jimmy Saville?

Tebbitt?

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

He abolished slavery though to be fair.

Still a twat though.

I prefer Cnut.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

My daughter’s 20th birthday today too.

I was so delighted she arrived in the world on this date.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 4h

I’d argue that every President since, and including Woodrow Wilson has been the ‘Leader of the free world’ leading apparently ‘The worlds greatest Democracy’ so it’s their job! Some have been shit called Bush, Nixon or Reagan for example. But this cunt is really milking it.

Epstein files?

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

Totally agree. I’ve spent 44 of my 62 years in London so effectively I’m a Londoner but still a West Northberlander in my heart.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

He got there first.

Now rid England and Scotland of the cunts too.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

Says Gareth, in English.

I agree though. Are you a Welsh speaker out of interest?

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

The people from India getting work visas already have it. It’s one of their official languages for fucks sake. Their standard of English puts probably 80% of English people to shame. Same for African countries.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

Absolutely

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

I have 2 History A levels and 1 BA in history so my English standard and cultural awareness is pretty good but who will examine these people? It’s SPOKEN English. Is there an exam that can be learned? The British citizenship test is more than sufficient surely. 24 questions, 80% to pass.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

Everyone loves an underdog. Look how Iceland became everyone’s 2nd team! Even when they played England I was rooting for them.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

They certainly did, they’ve been on the rise for years and are no pushovers. Depending on their group they could surprise people. I remember the days when only 16 teams took part. In 1982 it expanded to 24.

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Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

So none will make it home.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 5h

Yes, some of us already knew that and Iceland hardly used anyone not Icelandic either.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 6h

So vote for the busted flush party in league with the Nazis to fuck over the country properly next time.

Fuck that.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 6h

The I/J mutation.

We speak of little else in Mitcham.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 6h

Absolutely, I know people who speak waaaaayyyy better English than people I’ve worked with just from listening to the BBC world service. Poles, Russians, Czechs, Bulgarians… but of course most that will come are from English speaking countries anyway like India, Pakistan and African states.

Sir Garfield De Umfreville, Baronet Bywell @gazzalw63.bsky.social · 6h

Reading through the responses I didn’t realise just how many people are actually aware of the first word in Beowulf. Very impressed!