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Gareth Penn

@garethspenn.bsky.social

410 followers 1 following 2.7K posts

"Those who cannot remember George Santayana are condemned to misquote him." I asked a tour guide at San Simeon if the madonna above the main entrance of La Casa Grande was the one Dorothy Parker had written about, and he said, "Who's Dorothy Parker?"

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1h

The Netherlands' intelligence service has just let it be known that they won't be sharing information with the US any more because they found out it was going straight to Russia.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1h

Hitler ordered the use of the V-2 rocket to destroy the Remagen bridge so the Americans couldn't use it. The military balked, saying the V-2 wasn't safe for use on domestic targets. HItler insisted, 11 V-2s were fired. They all missed the bridge; one hit the city of Köln, killing 100s of civilians.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1h

Shouldn't the adjectival form of Antifan be antifanny?

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1h

What boggles my mind is that being aboard a boat in the Caribbean is presumptive proof that you are guilty of a crime that warrants summary execution, but if you survive your execution, you are exonerated and released without trial.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 2h

I assume she's going to have to wear her inflatable penis costume in court to prove that she was committing a lewd act. If I were her lawyer, I would argue that if she had added a streak of mustard to her costume she would have been indistinguishable from an Oscar Meyer wiener, and how lewd is that?

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 2h

"I don't understand why you call Adolf Hitler a dictator when he got 90% of the vote in the August 1934 plebiscite."

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 6h

Trump can't go to San Francisco because his combover is too thin to support the flowers he needs to have in his hair (see Time cover photo).

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 21h

The three of them are too much for the tractor beam. Trump will have to lose a hundred pounds.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 21h

A 53-year-old woman was arrested in Alabama for lewd conduct because she was wearing a penis suit. I wish I could be in court when she's arraigned.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 22h

"Anything I don't like is inauthentic and wouldn't exist if some evil invisible entity hadn't interfered in my imaginary world to make it happen."

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

It's a good thing everybody didn't buy the inflatable penguin costume.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Oh, yeah? Then why do they call it ant-ifa?

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

They were so guilty that they deserved to be executed without a trial, but since they survived the execution, they must be innocent. We're making new law every day.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

My SDA grandma was the sickliest person I ever knew. She looked as if the next puff of wind would blow her away, and she had a half dozen conditions that left her nearly disabled. My grandpa thought she would die and leave him all alone, so he put a bullet in his head. She died 12 years later.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Seventh Day Adventist

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Closing I-5 almost anywhere between Seattle and San Diego for three hours will inflict economic damage on a region that votes blue. For some reason, I can't help but think that's why they're doing it.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

I'm in Seattle, where "Heat America" would make a good rally slogan (9° C and threatening rain).

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Now I'm kicking myself for not buying stock in inflatable frog costume manufacturers.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Using government apparatus to shift wealth from one group to another is American when it benefits someone you like — including yourself — and Communist when it benefits anybody else.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

But Santos is a Republican!

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Hitler ordered the use of V-2 rockets to destroy the Remagen bridge to keep the AEF from using it. The army balked, saying the V-2 wasn't safe for use on domestic targets. Hitler had the last word. Of 11 V-2s fired, none hit the bridge but one hit the city of Köln and killed hundreds of civilians.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Paul is the walrus.

Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Too bad the sarcasm went over your head. But thanks for the venom anyway.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

I don't think I've ever seen a Soros-funded dog before.

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Gareth Penn @garethspenn.bsky.social · 1d

Will there be a follow-up event at Buckingham Palace?