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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter

@eveharms.com

6.3K followers 1.1K following 4K posts

I’m Eve, a horror/bizarro/exploitation writer based in LA, author of TRANSMUTED. I also make zines, apps and whatever else I feel like 🤡. Follow for updates on my work, jokes, cool stuff, insights, shitposts. 🏳️‍⚧️🕎🍉🪬 https://eveharms.com/links/

eveharms.com

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

We can’t even have our tiny pleasures any more

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

What a coincidence, The Atlantic has no value and lots of functional substitutes.

The Atlantic @theatlantic.com · 1d

Tariffs have rapidly increased the price of coffee—a drink with almost no nutritional value and lots of functional substitutes. Yet coffee may also be the one thing Americans can’t live without, @elcush.bsky.social writes:

The Drink That Americans Won’t Give Up Without a Fight

Coffee has almost no nutritional value and lots of substitutes. It’s also, apparently, too important to lose.

bit.ly

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

Naked blue Dr Manhattan exploding a guy meme and the guy is saying “I asked ChatGPT and–“

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

Otherwise, much shame

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

“I asked ChatGPT how to start this speech and it said…” is the new “Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines ‘commencement’ as…”

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 23h

The closest I come to being proud to be an American is through my intense hatred of the British monarchy and empire

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 1d

It’s gotten to the point where it’s probably worth putting in your will that you do not consent to your image to be used to create an AI simulacrum, even if you aren’t a public figure.

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Tech bros will be like "Our start up is called Icarus Labs and our motto is 'Hubris is not real'."

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Simpsons screenshot where Flanders and a woman are wearing berets and the woman is shrugging and saying "we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas" both look distraught

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

You know what's up!

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Now those are some beautiful GILTRs (gourds I'd like to respect)

Nicole aka Nimasprout @nimasprout.bsky.social · 2d

Pumpkinssssss

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Happy birthday! 🖤

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Every woman must be presented as an object or these "gamers" have a tantrum. Over half of the human population, with all of its beauty and variation, basically doesn't exist to them. It's really something. I would feel bad for them if they weren't so repulsive.

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

The rule is that you end with the question mark inside the quote even in the sentence is not a question. You are usually supposed to put a comma before the quote begins though. For example:

The question asked was, "How is this correct?"

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

Agreed

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

This absolutely rules

the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 3d

In 2004, Parisian police were conducting a training exercise in the french catacombs and found, after moving past a desk and a tape playing audio of snarling dogs, a fully functional movie theater and bar. When they returned 3 days later, the equipment was gone, with a note: “Do not try to find us.”

Members of the force's sports squad, responsible
- among other tasks - for policing the 170 miles of tunnels, caves, galleries and catacombs that underlie large parts of Paris, stumbled on the complex while on a training exercise beneath the Palais de Chaillot, across the Seine from the Eiffel Tower.
After entering the network through a drain next to the Trocadero, the officers came across a tarpaulin marked: Building site, No access.
Behind that, a tunnel held a desk and a closed-circuit TV camera set to automatically record images of anyone passing. The mechanism also triggered a tape of dogs barking, "clearly designed to frighten people off," the spokesman said.
Further along, the tunnel opened into a vast 400 sq metre cave some 18m underground, "like an underground amphitheatre, with terraces cut into the rock and chairs".

There the police found a full-sized cinema screen, projection equipment, and tapes of a wide variety of films, including 1950s film noir classics and more recent thrillers. None of the films were banned or even offensive, the spokesman said.
A smaller cave next door had been turned into an informal restaurant and bar. "There were bottles of whisky and other spirits behind a bar, tables and chairs, a pressure-cooker for making couscous," the spokesman said.
"The whole thing ran off a professionally installed electricity system and there were at least three phone lines down there."
Three days later, when the police returned accompanied by experts from the French electricity board to see where the power was coming from, the phone and electricity lines had been cut and a note was lying in the middle of the floor: "Do not," it said, "try to find us."

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 2d

🖤🖤🖤

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

Such a general who inspires legions and sows his seed across the land through the pasta pillaging of hearts never truly dies

Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

I know that in American grammar conventions the punctuation mark is always supposed to go inside quotations, but I think in many cases it's nonsensical and looks bad so I don't do it. You could call me a member of "grammar antifa" if you like.

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

The CEO of SpaghettiOs hates it when you forget to capitalize the "O". He's willing to "get physical" over it.

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

Jared SpaghettiO

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

They call him Jared "Leto" because they "let" him star in movies over and over even though the films make everyone say "O this movie bad"

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

This new "Gogurt" is proof that our society is sick. Children should not have to eat their yogurt "on the go"! Let the children take their time with the yogurt, Kids should be kids, they shouldn't be "hustling"

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

You named your pizza company "Pizza Hut"? Descriptive. Humble. Finally something that makes sense in this world of twisted pizza company names

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Eve Harms, Gourd Respecter @eveharms.com · 3d

You named your pizza company "Round Table"? Are the legends of King Arthur a joke to you? You're sick in the head

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