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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally

@esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social

15K followers 10K following 4.9K posts

Spfbo 4-10 judge Follower of the prophet pratchett sentient potato She/her/wyrd sister 20% cat pictures 20% rage 60% memes occasional book reviews

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · Sep 6

This long, multi-week Terry Pratchett post fest was brought to you by transphobia <3

Don't you come after my boy

a man with a hat and glasses is sitting in front of a purple curtain and talking .

ALT: a man with a hat and glasses is sitting in front of a purple curtain and talking .

media.tenor.com

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3h

Ya know how you can "forget" something painful? You'll have a few moments of peace while distracted, and then you Remember the Trauma, and you're overwhelmed with anger, grief, guilt, dread, etc?

That's what it's like being American right now.

..Ooo squirrel....OH FUCK ALL THIS SHIT WTF

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3h

How and why did we turn the human experience and civilization's existence into this lame artifical struggle for no reason?

For this orange shitbag

That guy?

That fucking guy?

The escalator guy?

Fucking seriously?

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 5h

Honestly, what is that?

It's like I am legit two people in one skull at some points.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 6h

The moon had no chill. That's not a lamp. Thats the fucking moon. On my brick phone that's 8 years old.

I think even the vampires would have had sunburn last night.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 10h

I guess i'm bringing paints on my next hike because this is a way I would like to sow mild and temporary chaos into the world.

IS IT A TOE?!

No, but it was left there by an asshole!

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 12h

This made rorschach jealous so now she's doing it too.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 19h

One of my favorite things about French Fry is that shes obsessed with my husband.

She will sit and complain at his feet until he picks her up and puts her in his lap as he works at his computer.

<meow>
<Meow>
<MEOW>
<MOTHERFUCKINGMEEEOOOW>
<husband groans>
<chair squeaks>
<purr>
<PURR>

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 1d

How is it possible that, "Would You Still Love Me if I was a Wyrm?" not the title a fantasy romance book I can buy?

How has no one written this yet?

a picture of a gargoyle with the words " would you still love me if i were a wyrm * ? "

ALT: a picture of a gargoyle with the words " would you still love me if i were a wyrm * ? "

media.tenor.com

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 1d

There is an anxiety unique to folks saddled with a uterus and it's:

"Wow that was a strong and unusual craving....HolyFuckingShitamIPregnant?!!"

<panic until its answered which could be days later>

[This pos vrought to you by an unreasonably strong need for strawberry ice cream]

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 1d

I vocal stim a lot when alone.

Usually it's a quick jingle that pops into my head. Maybe a catchy one liner from a song.

So does my son.

[Quiet room]

"Who ya gonna call? Ghost busters!"

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 2d

It's supposed to be orange chicken.

I think maybe I didn't get the breading fried enough, or thick enough, i'm not sure but it turned into a soggy mess and the sauce was way too soy sauce and not enough of the spiced honey and orange juice/rind flavor came through. it tasted like sticky soy sauce

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 2d

It did look good but it was way too soy sauce flavored and it overpowered everything else. Not sure where I went wrong but holy shit it was bad lol

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 2d

It looked promising but it just wasn't right. The sauce was too tangy and not sweet enough for orange chicken.

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 2d

Breakfast turned out better

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 2d

You mean terrible? Because it was terrible.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

It's absolutely inedible

Can't win them all, lmao

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

Oh, so thats why some of my friends who are real into makeup try to find talc free makeup.

Noted.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

Have I ever made orange chicken?

No.

Well, have I at least made other Chinese inspired dishes?

Also, no.

Well I've made fried rice before, ya?

Still no.

Chaos kitchen continues.

I'll report back with results.

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

I bought 6 audiobooks so far today

Starting with this one

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

i have so many to add to my really long tbr... but i've dropped off reading for so long i have an itch to purge my backlog list and just start over

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

I'm down if he is

Girl in costume dressed as headlights. Man dressed up as deer transfixed by booblights

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

Fuck ya

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

I'm looking for a couple of audiobooks.

I'm kind of in a non fiction mood, history, bio, botany - but I'm also open to SFF.

Anything yall listen to lately that was good?

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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 3d

I really want to learn but as far as botany goes, I'm a novice, just barely above a total layman.

I still wanna try.

Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally @esmeweatherwax8.bsky.social · 4d

ENABLER!!!

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