Author | Lightnews

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay

@embrajeff.bsky.social

360 followers 410 following 1.6K posts

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 I read a bit, write a bit, watch the Hibs and spraff some amount of pish! Not one for taking myself seriously but absolutely one for taking what I do very seriously. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 5h

Hearts fans will tell you that they are ‘famous’ for being jammy…and in a weird quirk of linguistic ambiguity, fans of local rivals Hibs would probably agree!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 12h

If I may offer a small anecdote that I feel elucidates what you say.

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 13h

I refer to the previous comment. Try not putting words in anyone else’s mouth based on your personal, subjective, perspective.
Again, I said not the same. Which is pretty clear on various levels. Being ‘born equal’ does not eradicate the many diversities evident in the human condition!
Bye now!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 14h

You don’t get to say who I am (or indeed, anyone else is), you do you. As for Farage language, behave yourself.
Farage would say ‘better/worse’. I said we’re not the same and that is, well, not the same!
You’re welcome!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 19h

Breaking Bad and The Sopranos

- Hey Tone, you seen that Heisen-Whateva-da-fuk guy?

- Last I heard he’s on the lam, fuckin pussy. I don’t wannna hear his name evah again. He’s dead to me!

- (After a long pause, a voice slowly booms) SAY. MY. NAME!

Immediately switch to silent black screen…

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 20h

T2 Trainspotting

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 20h

Or even a post-RTA, bed-ridden writer being nursed by his ‘Number One Fan’ when she gently caresses a sledgehammer…

a woman with a shocked look on her face is saying i am not crazy

ALT: a woman with a shocked look on her face is saying i am not crazy

media.tenor.com

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 21h

The time of your life when going downhill is actually a good thing!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 21h

Ha, cheers sir, 👍

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 22h

I don’t get this ‘above the law’ nonsense. Firstly, empty the ‘impeachment’ process.
If accused of a crime it’s interview, arrest, charge, try, convict/aquit…y’know, like the way it would happen to you & me with accused status.
Otherwise being above the law IS explicitly very much a thing.

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 22h

It would be an interesting experiment to take a twist on ‘factchecking’ and highlight anything he says that actually is true. Not joking, as he can’t help himself, often lying for the sheer sake of it…

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 22h

Ah yes, the so-called ‘Mythical Dinosaurs’, believed to have nested near to The Red Sea. Sometimes referred to as the Moses of the prehistoric world for whenever a predatory creature believed it had located the Lesser Spotted Exododus it had invariably just left…

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 23h

He was the first man who I considered beautiful. Could knock out a decent tune too 🙅‍♂️🏴‍☠️

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

“Right human, gimme a paw, roll over… FETCH!” (turns to face camera) “Wait til I tell the lads down the park about this…”

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

And an uncertified lunatic with an unhealthy partiality for the underaged…

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

So the undead really do live after all…

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

Not sure how the US characterise the type of employee you describe but the UK has the phrase ‘The Working Poor’ for those who claim welfare benefits to augment inadequate wages. This descriptor should make governing politicians cringe with shame but they’re actually proud of it…beyond despicable!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

For me, the best Bond theme, with Bassey’s Goldfinger a strong second and (probably controversially but I still love Morten’s voice) The Living Daylights in third!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

Ah but something, something laptop crime family something…

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

The sex offender aka Charles Lynton who pleaded guilty to a charge of ‘importuning in a public toilet’* at Bow Street Magistrates Court in 1983?
That Tony Blair**?

(*colloquially referred to as ‘cottaging’.
** Full name: Sir Anthony Charles Lynton Blair.)

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

In keeping with the overall ambience:

TRASHY
AS
FUCK

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

If said leader is an avaricious demonic psychopath laughing his toxic tits off at you from the palatial fuselage in his ‘god-given’ private planes then you really do need your cranial cavity searched for the presence of…well, anything really!

a man in a suit stands in front of a blue background that says ' haha ' on it

ALT: a man in a suit stands in front of a blue background that says ' haha ' on it

media.tenor.com

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

Retire the account - surely can’t be bested! Wonderful stuff.

Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

Ibuprofen - The gateway drug to Zimmer Frames and Heat Pads. Very dangerous…do not exceed the stated dose!

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Caledonia’s Auntie Cissy-Jay @embrajeff.bsky.social · 1d

Who won the World* Cup of Kiddy-On Cricket then?
(*World of North America)