astrid elle jo🍂(jewel of the nihil)
@ellejohara.com
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[sipping absinthe and listening to Gloomy Sunday for the 78th time in a row] "i make comics"
🧜🏻♀️ 🤖 🧙🏻♀️ • PNW • 51
🏳️⚧️ queer • trans (they/them) • ♠️ ace
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Reposted by astrid elle jo🍂(jewel of the nihil)
![Kitab - Not Really Anything
1.
[I lean on the sink and look at my reflection.]
In my youth, people often told me I had so much potential to become somebody.
Like a famous artist or something.
But I have never been able to live up to this potential.
Now, decades later, I understand why.
For a while I thought it was Borderline Personality Disorder.
But I found out what it actually is.
2.
[I hold my fists up. Above each is a figure: the ADHD Creature and the Autism Creature.]
It turns out one can be ADHD and autistic at the same time.
That's a hard-hitting one-two punch that makes everything I try to do much more difficult and frustrating.
3.
[Behind me are some folks. Two are chatting. Another two are flirting. I cannot tell the difference.]
It's why I don't understand how people work.
For example, I always misinterpret social cues.
4.
[Around me are examples of hobbies and projects I've abandoned or left unfinished. I look very sad/frustrated.]
Vintage computers; making videos for my YouTube channel; belly dance (and dance in general); my graphic novel; my homebuilt electronic wind instrument (and music-making in general); volleyball (specifically sand court)
It's why I abandon hobbies and never finish what few projects my executive dysfunction actually allows me to start.
5.
[I cry out in anguish as the tag on my tee shirt drives me insane.]
It's why I sometimes lose my shit over something completely trivial.
Like an itchy tag irritating the back of my neck.
6.
[Finger guns to my reflection.]
I am AuDHD. It's not a bug. It's a feature.
Which is fine, I guess. I'd definitely rather be autistic than borderline.
7.
[I glare over my shoulder into the camera.]
I'm 50 years old now. I've always been like this. It's not going to change.
I'm fundamentally dysfunctional.
8.
On the bright side, I guess I don't need to feel pressured to try and become someone anymore.
Because now I know that's probably not even possible.
[Text on each side of my face: Certified Nobody]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:smfbrzsfsmjotl42ibwscqua/bafkreiasmgx2oxkd6wqpe2r5pmnuz3yeqo3bcy6kwu2mwncbzxyduqiy3m@jpeg)
Reposted by astrid elle jo🍂(jewel of the nihil)
Reposted by astrid elle jo🍂(jewel of the nihil)
Reposted by astrid elle jo🍂(jewel of the nihil)
