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Dr. Dave

@drdave1999.bsky.social

12K followers 11K following 2.9K posts

Psychologist. Author. College Professor. Media Commentator. Private School Owner. Wow, that sounds exhausting. No DMs unless I know you.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 4h

I understand that there was a near-emergency at the White House this morning when a member of the housekeeping staff tried to iron a horribly-wrinkled sheet— and it turned out to be the President’s neck.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 5h

Also Bondi: And when we’re done with Antifa, we’re going after the Tooth Fairy. I don’t know how she got away with it for so long, but no one’s secretly entering the bedrooms of toothless little kids anymore, even if they do leave cash.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 7h

A warning to MAGA:

This is what happens when you grow up in a red state, attend Trump University, vote Republican, munch pork rinds while watching FOX News, and declare yourself a proud, ignorant incel.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 8h

Q: Grocery prices keep rising! It’s becoming unaffordable for Americans to feed their families.

Trump: Food is 234% cheaper than it was last week, and gasoline is free.

Q: Not one word of that is true.

Trump: You’re just upset because you’re so hungry.
www.wsj.com/economy/cons...

Grocery Prices Keep Rising. Frustrated Consumers Are Trying to Adapt.

Record beef prices and coffee that costs $1 more per pound since May have shoppers cutting back on some foods, stockpiling others.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 8h

It also can’t be shown in the presence of people with taste, decorum, or a fear of alien life forms.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 11h

MAGAt: Huh?

DEM: You see, the U.S. first fought to be free of a king back in 1776.

MAGAt: How would you know that?

DEM: By going to school, learning to read, and studying history.

MAGAt: Well, shit, I ain’t doin’ none of that. I just watch FOX News, and listen to them bois.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 12h

MAGA desperately wants their children to grow up to be just like Donald Trump.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 13h

Also Bondi: And when we’re done with Antifa, we’re going after Bigfoot. No one’s gonna hide in the woods and keep scaring hunters, drunks, and crazy tourists on my watch.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

As opposed to just eating and drinking out of a trough like other MAGAts?

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Q: What you’re saying is absurd. No one’s injecting massive fluids into a baby. The average childhood vaccination is 0.5 mL. That’s about 1/8 of a teaspoon— equivalent to 10 drops.

Trump: I’ve seen doctors use 55-gallon drums of vaccine. It has to be brought in on a forklift.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Ha, in this case, she can always snag Stephen Miller, lol.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Pam Bondi is the face of MAGA.

You can see the arrogance, incompetence, corruption, and hatred just dripping from her pores.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

If you believe that the voters in Maine are going to do the right thing after 30 years and rid themselves of Susan Collins, you’re naive enough to vote for Susan Collins.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Conservatives have launched an “All-American” halftime show to counter the Super Bowl show that will feature Bad Bunny.

Bad Bunny was born in Puerto Rico and is an American, of course, but what MAGAts actually mean is they want a hateful, white MAGA racist performer instead.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

I kid you not— before long, red states like TX and FL will be teaching ‘Trump math’ in school, and students will be 437% less-prepared to function in the real world.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Leticia James: “We stand together!! I will not capitulate!!”

MAGAt-1: What does capitulate mean?

MAGAt-2: That’s when you take someone’s MAGA cap offa they head.
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...

New York AG Letitia James gives spirited remarks in first appearance since indictment

New York's top prosecutor delivered spirited remarks to a rally for mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani after a federal grand jury indicted her.

www.usatoday.com

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Q: MAGAts are the dumbest people in world history, but how can even people that stupid and clueless believe that circumcision causes autism?

A: Science and logic are anathema to MAGAts. They believe the world is flat, and that vaccines are Democratic plot. They’re worse than zombies.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Q: Mr. President, did you say “You’ve studied this for a long time?!”

Trump: Yes. I’ve always believed that most childhood disorders are somehow related to the penis.

Q: Has dementia left you entirely and 100% impaired?

Trump: Well, that’s obvious to everyone except my voters.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

TikTok: Let’s add a board member who can control Trump for us.

Aide: How about Barron, the President’s son?

TikTok: He’s a complete tool.

Aide: But his dad listens to him.

TikTok: Can we put up with a Trump?

Aide: It’s better than Jr. doing lines of coke in the boardroom.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Can you just imagine how much smarter Xi is than Trump?!!! I give you my word of honor that he understands tariffs— and percentages.

And— while he may not be a paragon of virtue, he doesn’t lie with every single word, and hasn’t hired only the most corrupt imbeciles he can find.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

This despicable trash was found in my timeline.

What sort of deranged MAGA asshole would give a mug like this to a loved one on Christmas?!

Have you no shame? No dignity? No hammer?!

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Kristi ‘Dawg’ Noem just compared Antifa to Isis, Hezbollah, and Hamas.

The problem, of course, is that there IS no Antifa— it’s a philosophy, not an organization.

She’s so indescribably stupid that she could only work for Trump. No one else on earth would hire her.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Listening to Trump address the Knesset, I was surprised that:

1) The Israelis were remarkably restrained and composed, stifling their laughter as Trump spoke like a toddler.

2) If 3rd-graders had written his speech, it would’ve been far less insipid.
apple.news/ANNnSXyXpR8y...

Trump Addresses Knesset After Declaring Gaza War ‘Over’ — TIME

The U.S. President was warmly received in Israel, where he addressed parliament, after helping to broker a cease-fire that freed Israel’s hostages in Gaza and aims to end the conflict with Hamas.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

The President of the United States does not know how to close an umbrella. You can see a staff member take it from him to handle the challenge.

Trump doesn’t know how percentages work, either.

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 3d

No!!! We offered two of the most experienced, brilliant, and skilled women as candidates, and this misogynistic nation said, “We’d rather have a demented, sociopathic racist— even if he’s a dictator— as long as he’s a white male.”

We’re too primitive to elect a qualified woman.