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Disaster Ship Blonde

@disastershipblonde.bsky.social

520 followers 300 following 5.6K posts

V, 39. She/her. An old-timey carnival ringmaster exhibiting Izzy Hands like a Fiji mermaid. The home of Foot Guy Hornigold. "She wins" - Con O'Neill. ☭ Fandom account. OFMD and other sad guys on boats. 🔞

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · Oct 18

Hello, sickos. DisasterShipBlonde here.

✒️ My fics, mostly Ed/Izzy or Goldenboy: archiveofourown.org/users/Disast...

👛 My Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/disastership...

No minors, please. No Tories.

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 22m

Even Ben wouldn't stoop so low! Probably

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 25m

It's a deeply unsettling thought!

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 27m

Thank you for your generosity!

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 35m

He's so easy to manipulate

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 37m

WHEEZE

sarah @anathxmadevice.bsky.social · 2h

sorry but i saw this article this morning and was like. was one of them ben

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/poli...

Margaret Thatcher had two extramarital affairs, new book claims

A new book claims the former prime minister had an ‘extracurricular’ leg-rubbing friendship and two extramarital affairs

www.independent.co.uk

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 1h

Some CJizzy for @starswallow.bsky.social 🖤

“You’re fucking doing it wrong.”

Jack hears Izzy before he sees him, which is all part of the smaller man’s charm. If he wants you to know he’s there, then by God, you’ll hear the little bastard holler. Jack turns, lets the line he was knotting droop between his hands. “Who, me?”

The line is snatched from Jack with a force that actually surprises him. “Give it— give it here before you fuck it up any further. If such a thing is possible.” Izzy quickly winds the excess rope around his elbow, swarthy and golden where his shirtsleeves are rolled up and secured with fussy little bows. “What were you even trying to achieve, Rackham?”

Jack scratches the back of his head. “Well, I was just tying this rope here—”

“It’s a rope until it has a job, Rackham. Then it’s a fucking line.”

Jack blinks like he’s been shown a complex equation. “Huh. Good to know.”

Hazel eyes narrow. Izzy takes such a deep breath, his chest gains a few improbable extra inches. By the set of his jaw, Jack knows he’s fighting the urge to explode. God, he’s smoking hot when he gets all haughty. Puffs right up like an alley cat. It’d be cute if Jack didn’t spend most nights fucking his own fist about it. Jack would give his eye teeth for the chance to show Izzy quite what a quick learner he really is.

“You have been on a vessel of this size before, yes, Mister Rackham?” Izzy’s voice is low and dangerous, and it tickles Jack right between the legs. “The captain doesn’t take green crewmen, so if you exaggerated your skills, now’s the time to admit your mistake.”  

Izzy is close, almost absurdly so, and with the advantage of his height Jack is treated to an unimpeded view down the gape of Izzy’s neckline. There’s a forest of dark hair cascading over tanned flesh, all tight muscle and stocky temptation, and Jack wonders who the lucky bastard was who sucked up that bruise on the crest of Izzy’s frankly generous left pec.

$“Begging your pardon, Mister Hands,” Jack mumbles, with that aw-shucks sweetness the ladies lift their skirts for. “I wouldn’t tell tales to the captain. Let my mind wander, that’s all.” It’s not precisely a lie.  “Don’t ‘Mister Hands’ me, you little shit.” The set of Izzy’s jaw softens. He’s decided not to write Jack up, but more importantly, he hasn’t twigged that Jack knows perfectly well what a cleat hitch is. He backs off a fraction, holding out the rope. Line. Whatever. “Right, pay attention, idiot. Bring the line over the top. Figure eight around the cleat…”$

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 2h

Haha! Why won't this broad stop posting?!

Reposted by Disaster Ship Blonde

silly jonah @izzyfreak.bsky.social · 2h

i was scrolling through bluesky just now and i was like wow a lot of these posts are by @disastershipblonde.bsky.social or reposted by her 🤔 and then finally i realized i was just scrolling through her posts

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Reposted by Disaster Ship Blonde

H ✨ @rueforyou.bsky.social · 7h

Or, he's another medium and Stede has to deal with Izzy saying things like 'see, this is how a real professional works' while in reality Ed's all 'Iz, can you tap into the akashic records and tell me where I parked the car last night?'

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 2h

So, without doxxing myself, I have experience of this in the north, and there's nothing funnier than a frank northern spirit guide.

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 2h

A folk song from Izzy's neck of the woods. Pendle is a beautiful grassy hill known for a famous, tragic case of witch hysteria.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-g8...

Old Pendle - Lancashire Folk Song

YouTube video by Patriotic Archive

www.youtube.com

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 2h

For @raiderking.bsky.social: Ned/Izzy 'devotion'.

The song Izzy sings is in the comments below. 🖤

Screenshot of a vignette entitled 'Thy praises shall ring to the end of all time':

Ned doesn’t kneel. Not for anyone. On the rare occasions his talented fingers fumble a coin or a cufflink, he has people to do the undignified business of bending and crouching for him. But there is such a thing as a rare and private exception, just as there is such a thing as a rare and - oh, let’s not be coy - unique instrument. An instrument such as this man in black, staring down at Ned with the mixture of bafflement and cool disdain that never fails to tie the cords of Ned’s heart in untenable knots.

“Please,” Ned breathes, for there’s only the two of them here in his chambers. “Again.”

Izzy makes a scornful sound, gorgeous and dreadful as a tear in a silk stocking. “It’s just an old song from home. Everyone and his mother knows it.”

Is Ned’s desperation so repulsive? Even so, the rasp of Izzy’s voice is like nothing Ned has heard at sea or in all the grand conservatories of the world. Just an old song? Ned swallows the lump in his throat, thorny as pride. “But only you—” He pauses, daring to lay his palms on the warm leather of Izzy’s splayed thighs. “Only you imbue it with life.”

“Your fucking way with words…” Izzy is quick to knock Ned down a peg, but he can’t quite smother his smile. “I’ll sing it again. But you - you stay there and shut your big yap. Do we have a deal?”

Ned’s ‘big yap’, as Izzy so daintily calls it, is dry with want. “Your terms,” he whispers, with a hint of anticipatory vibrato, “are most generous.”

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Reposted by Disaster Ship Blonde

John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 8h

FINALLY a path to financial viability for OpenAI.

Hampus 🎃 @hampus.bsky.social · 8h

The real money is in blackmailing all the creeps who provided a photo ID to generate illegal porn

4 57 290

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 7h

Sure! No hurry.

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 9h

Seconding this.

Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 19h

Shark-hybrid Ned plucks him from the depths and drags him to the surface.

Izzy's thrashing and spluttering, tossing hair from his eyes. "Fuck! What— what the fuck—"
A scaly silver finger is pressed to his lips. "Shhhh. Shshshshhh. There, now. Don't strain your voice screaming. Not yet."

/romantic

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 19h

I've just remembered you can't DM pictures here, so either stick your screenshot (with no personal info) in a comment here, so get me on Discord.

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 21h

Dove is a genius. You know what I'm thinking here.

Dove 🚬🥃 @dovegraveyard.bsky.social · 21h

Drawtober day 14 // On their way home again

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Disaster Ship Blonde @disastershipblonde.bsky.social · 22h

Send me a screenshot of your receipt for £5 or more to the Oxfam Gaza fundraiser, and I'll write you a sexy little vignette of any OFMD pairing you like. Give me a one-word prompt and I'll spin you a little scene.

www.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam-in-act...