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Destry B

@destry.bsky.social

4K followers 3.3K following 2.4K posts

Another idiot from Twitter. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaans3rkrx24k

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Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 19d

I read some of the Amelia Earhart files.

It was crazy that her last radio transmission was her asking for the release of the Epstein files.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 4m

What if one of the three kings brought baby Jesus a lemon and said "Sour baby Jesus"?

That would've been pretty sweet.

( this sounded better in my head)

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 11m

Do people named Reuben have to ask for a me sandwich?

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

[ At the hair salon ]

Customer: What's the "Let me talk to the manager" cut?

Stylist:

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

Sometimes, I look back at my life and think, "Thank God I was never a raver."

And then I remember

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

My posts are like boogers and semen. I post whatever sticks to the wall.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

Why 🍆 and not 🫛nis?

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

I hope someone hosts a podcast about 🫛's.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

I'm like a hint. You can take it or leave it.

Get the hint?

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1h

I don't use AI (artificial intelligence)for my posts. I don't use AS (artificial stupidity) either.

All of my posts use AS (actual stupidity) not to be confused with the other AS (artificial stupidity).

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 18h

I like the doors that give you the option of pulling or pushing them open.

I like promiscuous doors.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 21h

Can I still keep the underwear?

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1d

The technical name for petrified poop is called coprolite. I guess I should stop calling it a shartifact.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1d

I hate it when bosses loudly discipline their employees in public. It always makes me not continue to give them my business.

Take them in the back or anywhere else that isn't in view of the public.

I'm not afraid to stand up for employees who are being treated like shit.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1d

People who accidentally push a door when you're supposed to pull it are quitters if they don't keep trying.

It might say pull, but that's just a suggestion.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 1d

The Epstein files are being uploaded to MySpace. Tom is such a hero.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 2d

a woman in a blue dress is standing in front of a wall of green squares

ALT: a woman in a blue dress is standing in front of a wall of green squares

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Destry B

🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 2d

If you pull my tampon string I talk

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 2d

Jen! Thank you, it's always nice to see you pop up old friend. 🥰

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 2d

I wasn't aware that antifascism even had a leader. Shouldn't we all be against fascism?

Reposted by Destry B

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 5d

What if you had to spend five hundred years in a McDonald's before going to heaven or hell.

Welcome to burgatory.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 5d

What if you had to spend five hundred years in a McDonald's before going to heaven or hell.

Welcome to burgatory.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 5d

Farts are your bodies' version of Paul Revere riding to tell you that a shit/ the British are coming.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 6d

A bottle of Jäger turns boys' night out into a brodeo.

A bottle of tequila turns girls' night out into a hodeo.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 6d

A bottle of tequila turns girls' night out into a hodeo.

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 6d

I was supposed to go to a Halloween party but I'm not going to go. If anyone asks why I didn't go, I'm going to tell them I was there dressed as the Epstein files.