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Andy Churnwell

@churnwell.bsky.social

1.8K followers 270 following 2.5K posts

Princess Diana Legacy award-winning broadcaster on Emblem Digital and Superdrug FM. Centrist. Landlord ally. Ruddles. Bazake Media. [email protected]

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · Jul 17

As a professional broadcaster with 5 decades of music expertise I know everything there is know about music. This compilation, release some years ago, is a collection of what I regard as the best music ever released. All killer. No filler. Links below:

LP cover for the above mentioned album. Me doing the thumbs up in a studio; cartoon of me holding a record beside it; "big in the german-speaking world" at the bottom.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1h

Just been nodding along and fist pumping the air while listening to Mike Graham's podcast Thought Police. I actually told the millennial barista with blue hair to listen to it too. Hopefully she'll learn something from it. Probably not. 🤣😂🇬🇧

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 17h

Katy Perry spotted kissing Jonathan Ashworth on her yacht months after Orlando Bloom split.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 20h

I feel so sorry for UKIP. The main parties have raised the bar so high for ultra racism and transphobia that they've literally had to adopt Nazi iconography as their logo just to compete.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Nick is that weird man you flat shared with for two month who used to leave trays of meat fat in the kitchen. He's the man you saw being removed from Tiger Tiger for dancing too close to fresher students. He owns one book: The Game by Neil Strauss.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Say what you will about far-right figures of yore, but at least none so fully evoked "basic bloke" as Nick "Farts" Tenconi.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Leaves his beard trimming all over the sink. Goes clubbing alone and in his work suit. Gorges himself on jacket potato feast before running himself over in his car while being sick out of the door. Thinks wiping his arse is gay.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Name: Nick Tenconi
Age: 54
Fragrance: Farts & Adidas Sport Sensation
Favourite food: Rustlers
Favourite film: The Emperor's New Groove
Favourite song: Give Me Everything by Pitbull
Hobbies: Pissing all over the floor and toilet seat

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

I've incited a riot among Reform dads on X, the everything app, by making fun of a blokey loser who licks toilets from a 1990s lager advert.

Andy Churnwell
@churnwell
·
1m
It's incredible that this has made a lot of Reform dads angry. Is this your hero? The pathetic toilet tongue oaf who will only lick his girlfriend's clitoris if she soaks it with supermarket lager? The toilet tongue man who's a feckless loser?
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Andy Churnwell
@churnwell
·
10h
Your dad's voting Reform because he misses those halcyon days when this advert was on the box. (You know, when blokes were blokes and birds were birds.) I'm so so sorry you had to find out this way.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Darlo savoury in Darlington indoor market. Proper British values. I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! 🇬🇧

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

It's amazing to think that there was a time before social media when, if you were a gobshite, everybody ignored you. There was no way to make money saying stupid, provocative things because nobody wanted anything to do with you.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Obituaries for the Lostprophets rock nonce are already rolling in.

Kontantin Kisin tweet: I have no words. I don't understand how to live in a world where someone would take a father away from his young children for having a different opinion.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

BREAKING Sir Keir has taken credit for the stabbing of rock nonce Ian Watkin, describing the incident as "another Labour success story".

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Your dad's voting Reform because he misses those halcyon days when Sex On The Beach by T-Spoon was topping the charts. I'm so so sorry to have to tell you this.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Unleash the power of Labour's national renewal. Turbocharge Britain’s future with leaner, stronger, optimised services. It’s not austerity. It’s EFFICIENCY EVOLUTION. Drink the change. Feel the growth.™

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

Young Bob, get outta my mind
My disgust of you is way out of line
You better run, Bob
You're much too young, Bob

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

Big head, la-da-da-da-da
Big head la-da-da-da
Big head strikes again
And I've got no right to take my place
With the human race, oh, oh, oh-oh

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

I painted a St George's flag on a hard boiled egg. I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK. 😡

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

These days, the questions on Question Time are just somebody who defrauded the country's racist comment with a question mark at the end.

Question Time still. Question is: Was Jenrick right about no white faces?

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Right-wing think tank Fortress UK Research Centre have erected this patriotic Rolf Harris statue to offend the woke blob.

Rolf Harris statue flashing his union flag waistcoat.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Yesterday it was: "I just looked at saucy images on my computer, but that was it." Today it's: "Yes, maybe I tried wanking, but I never climaxed." Sir Keir is playing 4d chess again. And winning.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Sir Keir's Bill Clinton moment: "Yes, I've accessed saucy images before, but let me be clear: I have never in my life 'had a wank'."

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Sir Keir's Bill Clinton moment: "Yes, I've accessed saucy images before, but let me be clear: I have never in my life 'had a wank'."

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Whenever I see this man I think: "I bet he lays down the thunder in the bedroom."

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

American anti-trans activist Graham Linehan cuts a cool figure on the red carpet of the Pizza Hut Sissy Porn Awards.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 5d

If I had this beard I would simply pay a laser technician to incinerate my hair follicles so that nothing can ever grow again.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 5d

Sir Keir's trademark trick on the football pitch is to point in one direction and say, "I'm going to go there," before cunningly moving in a different direction.

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