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Chris Oldwood

@chrisoldwood.bsky.social

290 followers 180 following 900 posts

skeet = reinterpret_cast(life)

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · Oct 21

#Introduction

@chrisoldwood = IT ∩ Dad Jokes

Author of far more than 97 puns every programmer should know…

Sets from Lightning talks:

[2016] Continuous Delivery & Becoming a Bitter Programmer
chrisoldwood.blogspot.com/2016/04/stan...

[2017] Wit Limits
chrisoldwood.blogspot.com/2017/12/wit-...

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3h

Saving "Daylight"...

████████████ 100%

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3h

When you write code in ALL CAPS, it’s like shouting, so presumably has a high volume, unlike lowers caps which is more quiet. So SQL has a higher volume on average than, say, C++ :o).

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 4h

Happy (belated) Mean Girls Day :o).

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 1d

Back in 2018 we had the FFS Tech Conference where every talk started “FFS…”. If the current state of the industry doesn’t demand another one then I don’t know does 🤷‍♂️.

ffstechconf.org

FFS Tech Conference

The Tech Conference that only has sessions entitled “FFS …”. Follow @FFSTechConf on Twitter. To be held on 19th September, 2018 in City of London, UK

ffstechconf.org

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 1d

Real infrastructure level chaos engineering :o).

Jason Gorman @jasongorman.bsky.social · 1d

It might be interesting to disconnect the transatlantic cable every once in a while, too.

Reposted by Chris Oldwood

Jon Skeet @jonskeet.uk · 1d

Full marks to the BBC weather site for correctly showing the repetition of 1am in the UK this weekend. (Hopefully most other weather sites get this right too...)

Weather forecast showing 1am happening twice on Sunday morning in the UK, due to the clocks going back (2am=>1am).

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Reposted by Chris Oldwood

James O'Malley @jamesomalley.co.uk · 2d

This new database will fix almost everything annoying about driving (FREE TO READ!)

takes.jamesomalley.co.uk/p/fix-annoyi...

This new database will fix almost everything annoying about driving

The government is quietly building something excellent

takes.jamesomalley.co.uk

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 2d

The problem with Dynamo DB is that the lights go out whenever Amazon stops peddling it…

Reposted by Chris Oldwood

Nick Tune @nick-tune.me · 2d

Decades of internet innovation have resulted in the pinnacle of human achievement - Firefox reader mode.

Rendering simple black text on a white background.

They could never have imagined this in the 90s.

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 2d

The expression “many hands make light work” stems from a time when horses were used to assist with farming. Horses are measured in hands, and so the bigger the horse the more “hands” it contributed to the workload and the faster it got done.

#TrainingDataPoison :P

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Reposted by Chris Oldwood

Charity Majors @charity.wtf · 3d

spotted in the wild!! go matty! 🙌

recently shipped a v2 of this sticker, which i like even better:

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3d

World is to WorldSeries, as Java is to JavaScript…

:P

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 4d

IMHO the build & test pipeline should essentially be a by-product of the way you work in a sandbox on your local machine. Starting each change with a clean slate benefits both local and CI flows.

[2014] Building the Pipeline - Process Led or Product Led?
chrisoldwood.blogspot.com/2014/10/buil...

Building the Pipeline - Process Led or Product Led?

Tales of a computer programmer.

chrisoldwood.blogspot.com

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 5d

Currently writing a book about the life of a sysadmin supporting a service hosted in AWS Ireland. Working title is All Quiet on the Eu-West-1 Front...

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 5d

Thinking of calling my new AI tool “Atom”, because it makes up everything…

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 5d

I think there is an entire series waiting to unfold here with “Matcha Pitcher” a solid follow-up :o).

Reposted by Chris Oldwood

Anil Dash @anildash.com · 7d

Okay, for the folks who asked: here's the majority AI view, writing up the reasonable, thoughtful view on AI that the vast majority of people in tech hold, that gets overshadowed by the bluster and hype of the tycoons trying to shill their nonsense. anildash.com/2025/10/17/t... Please share!

The Majority AI View - Anil Dash

A blog about making culture. Since 1999.

anildash.com

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 6d

Despite being almost 20 years old, and many of the tools pretty out-of-date, there was still a lot of good stuff in here as the concepts, unsurprisingly, have stood the test of time. Worth it for the Pac-Man story alone :o).

The book The Productive Programmer by Neil Ford on a wooden table.

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 6d

Or McVittipedia :o)

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 6d

A.I.: Auto-Incomplete

Less “done, done”, and more “un-done”.

:P

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 7d

Looks like the old dial-up ISP is being run out of somebody’s garage these days :o).

A small blue plaque at the end of a driveway with “blue yonder” written on it.

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d

Heads I win, tails you lose...

A message box from Google where the only two options are "continue" and "Try it now".

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d

It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to varifocals and your journey to “the old side” will be complete :o).

Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d

“Some programmers, when confronted with a problem, think ‘I know, I'll use AI.’ Now they have banana plantations.”
— Barney Stravinsky

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d

I hope Chesterton doesn’t come back later looking for it.