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BlueShiftNZ

@blueshiftnz.bsky.social

840 followers 1.3K following 8.2K posts

Kiwi Kirikiriroa, Hamiltron Dogs, dad-jokes, lefty Avery T. Deacon-Harry was a handle Jeremy is my actual name Hi!

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3h

What goes around, comes around. Like trampolines...

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3h

ChatGPT recommended pairing this aged Gouda with a nicely chilled glass of turpentine.

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 5h

Jet engines, no props, so the baby seal might get a bonk from the hull, but not shredded by the blender.

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 7h

Yeah, 10% of $180K is a lot more than 10% of $50K...

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 22h

M. Jean-Paul-Claude-Francois Sardonique is on the case!

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 23h

Miss Fisher, on the case! Whilst wearing a stunning diamond and emerald necklace with a very modern art deco setting...

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 23h

Hmmm, Cancer Costello? Shane ciga-Reti? Chrispuffer Bishop? Winfield Peters?

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 1d

Its London, what were odds of a sunny day happening!

Vegas, however - probably would still have been a death ray on the first full moon...

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 2d

Somebody with a southern drawl told the govt to focus on anti-terrorism, but they heard anti-tourism and went all in.

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 2d

🎶All I wanna do
Is <chnk> <chnk> <chnk> <chnk>
Lend you novels...

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 2d

No shade on the crow family, but seriously, listen with your ears coloniser dude!

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 2d

And a curse on whichever coloniser that tried to label them the "wattled crow". They are far too pretty!

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

They only use it to enter 5318008 and turn it upside down.

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

Well, that looks like the place to find one...

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

Downright sinister

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

(I have some silicone egg rings for English muffin eggs...)

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

"My eggs must be perfectly circular, but my pan tilts and makes them a bit oval so I have purchased a tool to ensure circularity."

You're right, that was a non sequitur... 😅

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 3d

I dont have OCD. I have CDO. It's the same thing but the letters are in alphabetical order AS THEY SHOULD BE!

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

He looks like he sounds like Tom Waits.

Tom Waits Long Way Home

YouTube video by RedAxLamb

youtu.be

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

What's he gonna do if the doctors strike after he makes it illegal? Fire them?

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

My oldest baby was born in '99 and he gets married next week!
How are literal* children allowed to marry!

*Literal in the sense of figurative

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

an elderly woman says it 's been 84 years ...

ALT: an elderly woman says it 's been 84 years ...

media.tenor.com

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

Not to sound like an AI spambot, but If you haven't met Acorn.tv it has a billion hours of old & new UK crime shows. My wife is binging through season 14 of Taggart at the moment.

Acorn TV

Acorn TV streams world-class mysteries, dramas, and comedies from Britain and beyond. Binge-watch a classic series or discover your new favorite show among dozens of programs available exclusively on ...

Acorn.tv

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BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

I worked with a guy, Dave Basher, whose wife, Gaye, kept her maiden name.

BlueShiftNZ @blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 4d

I would be too if I'd been to Hellenbach