Author | Lightnews

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 2m

I like that you could just cast the Please Don’t Destroy guys and be three quarters of the way to a Phish biopic.

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1h

well boo to that.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1h

Lawn darts to the brain.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 2h

shit, I'm old enough to have followed this.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 2h

Daaaaamn, someone had some *time* on their hands! (and some skills! these are great!)

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 2h

See also:

bsky.app/profile/sham...

Shams Charania Tweets @shamsbot.bsky.social · 3h

Miami Heat guard Terry Rozier was arrested early Thursday morning as part of an FBI sports betting gambling probe, sources tell ESPN. The Eastern District of New York and FBI director Kash Patel will hold a press conference at 10 am ET to announce arrests from investigation.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 2h

sounds like the NBA’s about to have its inevitable reckoning with having cozied up to sports betting.

Shams Charania Tweets @shamsbot.bsky.social · 2h

Portland Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups has been arrested by the FBI for alleged illegal gambling, sources tell ESPN.

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Reposted by damn i wish i was your lawyer

Shams Charania Tweets @shamsbot.bsky.social · 2h

Portland Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups has been arrested by the FBI for alleged illegal gambling, sources tell ESPN.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 11h

It’s wild that there’s a guy so tall and athletic that he makes an entire league’s worth of other objectively tall and athletic people look short and ridiculous.

Steve Jones @stevejones20.bsky.social · 11h

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH VICTOR WEMBANYAMA

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 13h

I briefly met Dan Aykroyd when I was working in L.A. in the ‘90s and it is one of my favorite moments from my time out there because I was so excited to have a moment with him and he totally, but really harmlessly, dissed me, and I truly cherish that.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 14h

That Wall/Beal/Nene/Gortat/Pierce year was solid. :)

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 14h

aw yeah

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 14h

My wife would absolutely be this whether we had kids or not. So nit really, no… but I do look at folks with like multiples of those 10 foot tall skeletons and wonder how they got *that* into it (…and also where they store those things).

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

Fixed it.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

Getting ready for another exciting year of the Washington Wizards losing more games than everyone else then falling to the 5th or 6th pick in a 4 player draft class.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

Let he who has not accidentally gotten a Nazi tattoo cast the first stone.... whoa! that's a fuck-ton of stones.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 23h

Put these together and you get President Hate Machine, which seems pretty on the nose for our present moment.

Anyway, voting NIN.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 23h

Pretty sure I didn’t know them until late ‘90, when a friend in college played them for me while we were camping out for Dead tickets. :) Definitely knew them prior to seeing them at the first Lollapalooza, which was nice.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

They’ll bill more! All the time for the people using the AI, and all the time for the people cleaning up the mess using it caused.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

Kind of hilarious that people smoking weed are proudly and openly walking around doing it on the streets while people smoking cigarettes look like they’re trying to not get caught masturbating in public.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

Had a legit ASMR experience overhearing an Australian ordering a flat white.

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

That screening was so good, I came back later that week to catch The Shining on a big screen. That extended opening shot following the car through the forrest is pretty killer on a screen. Spoiler alert: Movie is still damn creepy!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

Wannabe Senator oysterman has a Nazi tattoo, East Wing's demolished without warning for giant ass gold ballroom, Trump demands the DOJ give him a $230 million grift payment for the election he lost, North Carolina Republicans re-gerrymander, ICE buys guided missiles... this is a single news day?!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

This. I'd only ever seen it on TV and thought it was boring as hell, but saw it in a theater in 2018 when they released a restored version of it in 70 mms for its 50th anniversary and holy hell, it kicked ass. That long, slow space stuff with classical music needs a huge real screen to work.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 1d

Trying to schedule a doctor’s appointment and every time I get through they’re busy and make me put in a callback number and every time they call me back my phone doesn’t ring and it goes to voicemail and for fuck’s sake this is the dumbest possible system.