Author | Lightnews

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 27m

looking at clothing online as if i could even fucking afford anything right now. i might not get food stamps next month since congress doesn't actually think poor people are real

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 33m

these were like $9 at marshalls and for no reason they are some of the most comfortable pants i've ever owned and they fit me perfectly in the legs the waitsband is just a little too tight now 😔

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 33m

cause truly there is little as distressing as "your softest most comfortable amazing pants are suddenly too small for you"

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1h

me: distressed that none of my pants fit after all my body fat moving & gaining more weight from being on t

someone on youtube 14 years ago: here is the most insanely simple way to let your pants waistband out, this video is 2 pixels and 4 minutes and literally all the information youve ever needed

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 3h

"10 fascinating things you didn't notice in bloodborne" i absolutely fucking PROMISE you i did

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 3h

i have one lore channel i watch but honestly i otherwise absolutely refuse to watch peoples video essays about their opinions on my favorite games. thats my thing and i enjoy it the way i want to and for some reason hearing other peoples interpretations of it upsets me so i just ignore

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 5h

also, the babies are adorable and sweet and perfect like all babies are, but my older sister borders on actually evil in her treatment of me so i’m very detached about the whole thing

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 5h

my older sister had her twins and my moms with her rn for a bit and keeps sending pictures and every time i look at them and just *captain holt voice* “yes, babies are adorable. they are like we are, but so much smaller.” as if i don’t have a kid thats almost 5

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 10h

advance on to gael whos one of the best fights in the entire game so i get to be happy for the person who beat me too! 😊☺️ but man i wish enough of us were still online for more pvp in bloodborne ;w;

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 10h

already fighting the drang twin hammers npc and pushing me off that ledge for an insta kill its just been really genuinely so fun. i love getting to play with other players and have it be a community experience and being a spear of the church is so fun because when i lose it means someone gets to

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 10h

i’ve heard people really trash dark souls 3 PvP and as someone who just genuinely enjoys it (i love it in bloodborne) i was a little worried because people still invade a LOT in DS3 but other than that one aldritch faithful being a huge fucking asshole and beating the shit outta me while i was

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

literally my only gripe with PvP is that i can't tell people like "thanks for the fun duel!" or something cause i really do love it

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 18h

i feel like this is worded weirdly: i summoned in ng and we fucked them *up*, and then i did not summon in ng+ and i fuckin rekt them again alone

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 18h

gold pine resin even ran out and aside from a close call accidentally almost trapping myself in a corner for a minute i wrecked phase 2 too. very very very fun fight :3

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 18h

man i was like "i wonder how abyss watchers will be in ng+, they seemed insanely easy in ng" and i had summoned just cause i could and i think summons are fun so i was like well lemme try it alone cause its also fun/good to try alone to see how it is and i annihilated the first phase before my first

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

literally my only gripe with PvP is that i can't tell people like "thanks for the fun duel!" or something cause i really do love it

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

lmfao i got re-summoned to them almost IMMEDIATELY and they were like 100x more aggressive and clobbered me 😆 that was so fun!!! i bowed after i killed them initially and when they killed me they also bowed, i was like aw good duel yall ☺️ i love that that was so fun

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

TOTALLY BLOWING OFF HOMEWORK WHEN I SHOULDNT BE BUT I JUST WON A BATTLE AS A SPEAR OF THE CHURCH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOOO

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

guardian got re-summoned i backed off again and they just kept running at me to try and ignore the guardian and i was like damn brother i was tryin to be nice

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

they even had a friend summoned who was fighting with them so i just focused on the other person and after the other person died i waited until the person whos boss battle it was had killed the other painting guardian to attack them out of just like. politeness i guess but after the painting

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 20h

TOTALLY BLOWING OFF HOMEWORK WHEN I SHOULDNT BE BUT I JUST WON A BATTLE AS A SPEAR OF THE CHURCH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOOO

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

autistics can turn anyone into a Casual Enjoyer of their special interest, its just what we do. i have given all of my friends the ability to casually enjoy bloodborne

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

my toxic trait is that i firmly believe that if you have the right autistic person explain something to you, you can enjoy it. if anyone but my friend who's special interest is transformers told me about it i would not fucking care, but because he did? now i have favorites and opinions

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

its all just that fucking saying about how no scathing, well-written critique of capitalism can tear it apart the way a poor person just talking about their average day does

no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

hilarious that this is happening to cut off benefits during the month of the big food holiday too. lol. lmao, even

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

love knowing that the christo-fascist dictatorship can just tear down part of the white house and do whatever they want but i just got a text that my fucking food stamps are on hold next month because congress is too busy not caring about poor people to give a shit if my son and i eat next month

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no. 1 valtr lover @beasteatersbf.bsky.social · 1d

i have never in all my days heard an english speaker mispronounce "beer stein" so why in the goddamn shitting fuck do none of these streamers/challenge runners/etc. pronounce ornsteins name correctly