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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder

@andycruns.bsky.social

3.8K followers 1.7K following 14K posts

Writer, purveyor of increasingly terrible jokes, semi competent miniature painter. Skipping gaily over the line between clever and stupid. Host of Find Folk Friday and idiot behind Stupid Lore Sunday. I’m so sorry He/him [email protected]

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 5h

Yeah I think that’s probably it. She was great fun in Charlie’s angels

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

Kristen Stewart gets a lot of stick but she was great

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

Would genuinely be a better back story than what they went with

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

Jabbas palace would’ve been very different if that got defrosted

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

Agreed. Also it was gibberish

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

Ruined by the weird obsession with explaining everything.

Some stories don’t need a prequel

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

And your great great great granddaughter, is pretty fine

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 7h

It’s not scary so much as relentless and claustrophobic

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Life was great. I also enjoyed Underwater

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Yeah the set up was more interesting than the ship

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Romulus was the best of the bunch but the plot holes are enormous

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Finally Romulus.

Actually the best of the new ones but only because it’s a clip show.

All the best bits slapped together with a new young cast.

It’s as if you gave a youth theatre $100 million to make a knock off.

I did like it but I found myself yearning for something new.

End

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Covenant.

It’s a mess. The lore now moves everything. The lore is very very drunk.

Don’t worry folks, the unknowable fucking Alien is actually the work of one crazy android. It’s not really alien at all.

It’s stupid but worse than that it’s boring.

9/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

And now the next three. Urgh.

Prometheus is dire because it is weighed down with a mess of lore and everyone is a dumb arrogant arsehole.

It’s a big budget episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

The gang meets a xenomorph.

8/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

They all work because they’re internally consistent, they follow well trodden paths and they know what they are
The Aliens themselves are a macguffin. Seriously you can drop any creature into these and they’ll work with fairly minor tweaks.
The lore works for them, it doesn’t drive the narrative
7/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Alien Resurrection is an adventure. It’s almost a heist movie but ultimately it owes a lot of its DNA to movies like The Poseidon Adventure.

Plucky band of misfits stuck on a doomed ship. The set pieces are fun. The cast are great. Brad Dourif ffs.

6/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Alien 3 is The Outsider. A lone hero is plunged into an existing community to fight against a common enemy.

It’s Outlander, it’s The 13th Warrior. In an alternate universe it’s The Three Amigos.

It also neatly ties off Ripley’s story.

5/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Next up, Aliens. Straight up action. Action heroes up against impossible odds. It’s practically a war movie. Think Kelly’s Heroes.

It builds on the lore but would work standalone. The exposition at the start covers the backstory.

4/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

I do mean haunted house.

It follows the trope of a small group in an enclosed location being picked off one by one by an unknown and unstoppable force.

It’s House on haunted hill, it’s nearly And then there were none. Miss Marple wouldn’t be too out of place.

3/

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

First up is of course Alien, the masterpiece that started it all.

In the late 70’s the future was bright. Literally. Sci-fi was colourful as fuck. Alien was dark, grimy, and barely held together.

It was a breath of fresh air. It’s also a perfect haunted house movie.

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 8h

Welcome to tonight’s episode of Andy Thinks About Something Too Much (note: needs a better title)

In this episode we’re going to talk about the Alien franchise and why only the first four movies work.

And yes, I do mean four.

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 9h

Drill?

A blue space marine with a yellow smiley face painted on the end of the barrel of his gun

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Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 13h

they're a great product, I'm looking forward to getting the rest of the range. 😊

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 15h

you may murder one, as a treat

Andy Claaaaaarrrghhhhk, Nerdling Herder @andycruns.bsky.social · 18h

Go forth and make this Tuesday the best Friday ever!

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