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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres
@alanpadres.bsky.social
630 followers 880 following 4.3K posts
Pragmatist/Optimist/Pessimist. New Grad Registered Nurse in the Pediatric ICU🙏❤️ Life is like a cake, there’s LAYERS to it! Context matters. GO PADRES!!!
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · Oct 28
Might start hangin out on here more. Helluva season from our Padres. Brutal finish, but easily the most fun I’ve had watching this team all season.

Over halfway done with nursing school now and can smell the finish line. Time to lock in for fall/winter 😎🔥❤️🙏
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1h
Elon going to fire this executive by end of day
britculpsapp.bsky.social
👹👻 boo-rit 👻👹 @britculpsapp.bsky.social · 2h
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Dominic Michael Tripi & @DMichaelTripi X.com NEW: X executive says creator monetization program may potentially be ended, saying that the system does "more harm than good." 10:27 AM • 10/15/25
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 15h
Me in the past: “man, I wish the Padres were a more entertaining team . . .”
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 18h
Erik Greupner: “You may have experienced a brief window, but something you won’t experience with the San Diego Padres is a brief playoff-contention window. We remain highly committed to delivering a quality product both on and off the field.”
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 18h
“I only buy AMERICAN cause I’m a Patriot, that’s why love Black Rifle Coffee!! 🤬”

“Don’t they get their beans from South America?”

“Uhh, umm, . . . like I said AMERICAN coffee, that’s American!”
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 18h
Weird that he would lay eyes on other men’s meat sticks but is blind to anything relating to his job that the press brings up
a picture of a monkey with the words call me george cause i 'm curious on the bottom
ALT: a picture of a monkey with the words call me george cause i 'm curious on the bottom
media.tenor.com
alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 18h
Until they emerge from their Chrysalis, transformed from incel to mass shooter
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Shildt: “Fuck it, I’m outta here in a couple days, I’m batting Luis Arraez 2nd no matter what. Suck on that Twitter!”
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Mike Shildt when questioned about anything
a man in an orange shirt and hat is standing in front of an orange background and says `` i 'm a man ! ''
ALT: a man in an orange shirt and hat is standing in front of an orange background and says `` i 'm a man ! ''
media.tenor.com
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Once again, it is the White man bringing down minorities 😢😔
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Neuralink partnership with OpenAI to give you on demand Category-5 Hurricane level orgasms straight to both domes
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Insert “that’s so on brand for her” joke
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
For Christmas 2026 Sam will release a portable, sentient GPTussy to free up people’s hands for more vibe physics
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Fuck Eric Hosmer
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 19h
Ken Rosenthal at home gooning to the Padres drama 😭
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 20h
“Jack Smith is a shapeshifter, he can even turn into non-people things!!”
alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 20h
Cory Booker when he’s getting railed by 2 women with simple questions and follow-up:
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 22h
Yamamoto to his translator:

“Hey, I want you to bet $100,000 that my next pitch will be a ball”
a woman in a car wearing a hat that says ' university ' on it
ALT: a woman in a car wearing a hat that says ' university ' on it
media.tenor.com
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 22h
Was Emmanuel Clase the one sending death threats to Mike Shildt cause of gambling . . . ? 🤔
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
And that’s why I keep my bologna in my pockets when I get my hair cut
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
This could also double as a Goatee, call it a Pubetee
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
Get their address. Show up to their front door unannounced and thank them in person. Social media has destroyed the personal touch 😭
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
My mom has always been one to acknowledge and recognize others when she gets the feeling too. I’ve tried to emulate that the best that I can. It feels good to let others know that they’ve done something good that stood out to you, whatever that may be
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alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
“Master Race?

More like Master BLASTER!! 😭”
Reposted by AlanPadres
maplecocaine.bsky.social
maple cocaine @maplecocaine.bsky.social · 1d
The NY young republican who said that rape is "epic" looks like a fuckin ventriloquist dummy
Bobby Walker, New York Young Republican
65 150 920
alanpadres.bsky.social
AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 1d
What about that Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation that Jesse does ad reads for? 😭

“To lift the fog of depression”

Does it also lift the marine layer at Petco Park? 😭
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