Author | Lightnews

Andrey Bratus

Andrey Bratus

@abratus.bsky.social

1.3K followers 880 following 1.1K posts

Funny memes, puns and dad jokes. Hilarious Jokes 👌 https://weird-jokes.com Python Knowledge base 👉 https://python-code.pro

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Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · Jun 17

My Uncle named his dogs Rolex And Timex.
They are his watch dogs.
#meme #joke #pun #dadjoke #irony #sarcasm
👍 Weird Jokes weird-jokes.com

My Uncle named his dogs Rolex And Timex.
They are his watch dogs.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 17m

#dadjokes
Dong. Ding Dong.
- James Bond’s doorbell.
weird-jokes.com/best-dad-jokes

Dong. Ding Dong.
- James Bond’s doorbell.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 47m

#puns
I strictly forbid my kids from watching orchestras.
There's too much sax and violins.
weird-jokes.com/best-puns

I strictly forbid my kids from watching orchestras.
There's too much sax and violins.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 4h

Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping? Try online dating!

Weird jokes weird-jokes.com

Weird Jokes - Bizarre, Funny, and Totally Oddball Humor.

Welcome to Weird Jokes, where laughter never ends. We've got a wide variety of weirdest jokes, memes and puns, come on in and join the fun!

weird-jokes.com

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 9h

I'm gonna wake up extra early tomorrow so I have more time to be a cunt.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 11h

#puns
I know some of you have requested that I share some jokes in another language, so here is one in Spanish:
Uno.
weird-jokes.com/best-puns

I know some of you have requested that I share some jokes in another language, so here is one in Spanish:
Uno.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 22h

#sarcasm
Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from.
weird-jokes.com/best-sarcast...

Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 23h

#dadjokes
People who say "no pun intended" are cowards.
Intend your puns, people!
weird-jokes.com/best-dad-jokes

People who say "no pun intended" are cowards.
Intend your puns, people!

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1d

My buddy got his ear pierced at the bar last night.

Turns out I'm terrible at darts.

Weird jokes weird-jokes.com

Weird Jokes - Bizarre, Funny, and Totally Oddball Humor.

Welcome to Weird Jokes, where laughter never ends. We've got a wide variety of weirdest jokes, memes and puns, come on in and join the fun!

weird-jokes.com

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1d

Lesbians shouldn't be allowed to use dildos...u made your choice....

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1d

#dadjokes
My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
weird-jokes.com/best-dad-jokes

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1d

#puns
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
weird-jokes.com/best-puns

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1d

#puns
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet...
weird-jokes.com/best-puns

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet...

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 2d

People who say their wedding day was the best day ever have clearly never had two
KitKats fall out of a vending machine.

Weird jokes weird-jokes.com

Weird Jokes - Bizarre, Funny, and Totally Oddball Humor.

Welcome to Weird Jokes, where laughter never ends. We've got a wide variety of weirdest jokes, memes and puns, come on in and join the fun!

weird-jokes.com

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 2d

I once dated a girl that was actually a ghost.

I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 2d

#puns
EDAM is the only cheese that is MADE backwards.
weird-jokes.com/best-puns

EDAM is the only cheese that is MADE backwards.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 2d

#memes
What sexual position makes an ugly baby?
Ask your parents.
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

What sexual position makes an ugly baby?
Ask your parents.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 2d

#memes
I have a terrible fear of tsunamis.
It comes in waves.
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

I have a terrible fear of tsunamis.
It comes in waves.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 3d

The human body is 60% water so really we are just cucumbers with anxiety.

Weird jokes weird-jokes.com

Weird Jokes - Bizarre, Funny, and Totally Oddball Humor.

Welcome to Weird Jokes, where laughter never ends. We've got a wide variety of weirdest jokes, memes and puns, come on in and join the fun!

weird-jokes.com

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 3d

Went to Disneyland because my son obsessed with Mickey Mouse.

Couldn’t wait to get home and tell him about it.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 3d

#memes
I used to teach origami.
Gave it up.
Too much paperwork.
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

I used to teach origami.
Gave it up.
Too much paperwork.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 3d

#memes
My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards.
I said, "Y NOT?"
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards.
I said, "Y NOT?"

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 3d

#memes
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they're dead.
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they're dead.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 4d

What do you call a country that doesn’t exist?

A Halluci-nation.

Weird jokes weird-jokes.com

Weird Jokes - Bizarre, Funny, and Totally Oddball Humor.

Welcome to Weird Jokes, where laughter never ends. We've got a wide variety of weirdest jokes, memes and puns, come on in and join the fun!

weird-jokes.com

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 4d

Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers.

What you do today might burn your rear tomorrow.

Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 4d

#memes
My Grandpa reached 110 yesterday.
That's the last time I get in the car with him driving.
weird-jokes.com/pun-memes-fa...

My Grandpa reached 110 yesterday.
That's the last time I get in the car with him driving.