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Stone Cold Jane Austen

@abbyhiggs.bsky.social

30K followers 1K following 8.1K posts

The OG. Feral essayist. Genderclear. Publicist. They/Thembo. Instructor/Professor. Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus etc.🖖

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · Jun 22

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 3h

I’m sick of seeing Trump’s thrussy 🤮

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 5h

Look at this handsome boi

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 18h

The lion does not concern itself with flexible spending accounts (FSAs)

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Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen

David Weiskopf believes in you @dave.bzky.team · 20h

Tune of "Pass the Dutchie"

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 20h

LOLOL

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 20h

WWGWTWF

Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 21h

If I were Annie Lennox, I’d wear my own t-shirt too

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

I just sneezed and a meatball literally rolled off my plate

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

When my phone rings and I HAVE to answer it

Drew Barrymore crying on a landline in SCREAM

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t think my colleagues in the English Department love that I’ll hear a voice at the opposite end of our hallway and take off running from my office like some rabid creative writing professor

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Imagine hating me and I’m just in my room doing this—

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I have that one gene that makes trying to use Saran Wrap fucking impossible

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Got accused of being a “performative male” today. I’m conflicted on so many levels, yet proud.

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Da Vinci’s Last Supper

Seth Meyers, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Colin Jost and Michael Che all yelling and gesticulating

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

So I can’t flex and take a selfie at the same time. So sue me, lol.

Me in a gym tank trying to flex but my hand is completely limp because I’m also taking a selfie and I clearly can’t do both this at once GYM

Me trying to flex but with my sweaty face hidden behind a sticker that reads “I’m dead”

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I wonder why I put two Ns in “thousand” like that 🤔

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

A haunted house but it’s just your LiveJournal entries written to Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousannd Miles” from 2002

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I, too, have the cardiac age of a 65-year-old

Reuters @reuters.com · 3d

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says reut.rs/4mZNZbu

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says

Donald Trump was found to be in "exceptional health" in a medical evaluation, the U.S. president's doctor said in a memo released by the White House on Friday, with his "cardiac age" 14 years younger than in "chronological age."

reut.rs

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I’M DISCOMBOBULATED

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Not specific enough. You could’ve been missing parlays for all I can tell

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Woke up this mornin’. Made pumpkin pancakes. Ate ‘em. Went straight back to bed. Now, it’s 4:30 pm and I’m just rousing again. Did I waste the day or live it to its fullest so far? I can’t tell…

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I’m watching how everyone mourns Diane Keaton. Be respectful or I’m calling your jobs.

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 3d

I used to be real self-conscious about my head being shaped like a guitar pick

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 3d

Are you calling me a billionaire techno-demon

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