🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
This isn’t autonomy. It’s choreography.
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
This isn’t autonomy. It’s choreography.
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
August 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
October 8, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer. Just internal stakeholders guessing what you should build.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer. Just internal stakeholders guessing what you should build.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
October 22, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
September 20, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
This isn’t autonomy. It’s choreography.
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
The team “self-organizes” by waiting patiently to be told what to do.
Their main job is to self-organize to execute the orders from management.
This isn’t autonomy. It’s choreography.
sbee.link/m67xkdfapu
November 1, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer.
Just internal stakeholders guessing what we should build.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer.
Just internal stakeholders guessing what we should build.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
September 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
October 11, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
This isn’t ownership. It’s obedience.
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
This isn’t ownership. It’s obedience.
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
August 20, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
June 14, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
Sure...the Product Owner “owns” the backlog.
Until someone above them overrules them.
POs don’t make decisions. They update tickets.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/j38p7htbva
June 11, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
Dark Scrum Alerts: Agile Theater, Exposed
Explore the growing collection of Dark Scrum Alerts—real-world Agile dysfunctions wrapped in humor, insight, and just enough sarcasm to sting.
sbee.link
October 18, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
“Let’s escalate it”
Translation: Let’s pretend we didn’t see it.
When the blocker is management, the removal mysteriously stalls.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
Translation: Let’s pretend we didn’t see it.
When the blocker is management, the removal mysteriously stalls.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
May 11, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Everybody can reply
1 likes
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
The Scrum Master "causes the removal of impediments to the Scrum Team’s progress.”
Unless the impediment is management. Then they quietly move on.
Not servant leadership. Just self-preservation.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
The Scrum Master "causes the removal of impediments to the Scrum Team’s progress.”
Unless the impediment is management. Then they quietly move on.
Not servant leadership. Just self-preservation.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
May 31, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
“Let’s escalate it”
Translation: Let’s pretend we didn’t see it.
When the blocker is management, the removal mysteriously stalls.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
Translation: Let’s pretend we didn’t see it.
When the blocker is management, the removal mysteriously stalls.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
October 4, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
May 21, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
The blocker is an executive. The Scrum Masters fix is a shrug.
When management causes the mess, the Scrum Master suddenly goes quiet.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
When management causes the mess, the Scrum Master suddenly goes quiet.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
October 29, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
February 28, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
“Responding to change over following a plan”
Yeah, we respond to change. As long as it's submitted in writing, approved by three committees, and reviewed at the next change board meeting.
This isn’t agility. This is #DarkScrum.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
“Responding to change over following a plan”
Yeah, we respond to change. As long as it's submitted in writing, approved by three committees, and reviewed at the next change board meeting.
This isn’t agility. This is #DarkScrum.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
October 1, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
This isn’t transparency.
It’s surveillance.
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
This isn’t transparency.
It’s surveillance.
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
August 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer. Just internal stakeholders guessing what you should build.
This isn’t discovery. This is theater.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
Every decision is "customer-driven."
But no one has ever talked to a real customer. Just internal stakeholders guessing what you should build.
This isn’t discovery. This is theater.
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
September 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
When the biggest impediment is upstairs and the Scrum Master walks the other way.
It’s not servant leadership. It’s survival.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
It’s not servant leadership. It’s survival.
#DarkScrum #Agile #Scrum
sbee.link/86qvdrp43f
September 10, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
Dark Scrum Alerts: Agile Theater, Exposed
Explore the growing collection of Dark Scrum Alerts—real-world Agile dysfunctions wrapped in humor, insight, and just enough sarcasm to sting.
sbee.link
June 21, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
“Responding to change over following a plan”
Yeah, we respond to change. As long as it's submitted in writing, approved by three committees, and reviewed at the next change board meeting.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
“Responding to change over following a plan”
Yeah, we respond to change. As long as it's submitted in writing, approved by three committees, and reviewed at the next change board meeting.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cn3h6txujw
September 6, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
“Face-to-face conversation is the most efficient and effective method of conveying information.”
But management can't track convos. All communication must go through Slack.
Seen this play out?
sbee.link/f78gk3behn
Dark Scrum Alerts: Agile Theater, Exposed
Explore the growing collection of Dark Scrum Alerts—real-world Agile dysfunctions wrapped in humor, insight, and just enough sarcasm to sting.
sbee.link
June 18, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply
🧨 #DarkScrum Alert
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
We can’t audit face-to-face conversations. So they’re dumb.
All communication must go through Slack.
Ever worked like this?
sbee.link/cfumave7tn
October 15, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Everybody can reply