(I will admit I needed that kind of thought, it was a good pick me up for my bleh mood |3;;)

...fuck >///>;;;

Oh nooooo, once the full moon rises the next night, they're gonna bite my neck and permanently turn me into a vampire oh nooooo whatever shall I doooooooo 'w'

you know what, i want to get taken away by a demon or vampire or something, fuck

Sure, I'll go for it

Option B - Lick
(as a note, no wings, two eyes)

Being eaten means you take damage every turn, but attacks from the inside guarantee crits.

Inflated into a ball shape? You bet your toon butt you've just unlocked the duo tech move "Dodgeball!"