At the end of the day even if someone knew about me being a system, it'll never really mean they got to know all or most of us, and ultimately we will be thought of as just

"the coping mechanisms of that one guy"

they only get to see us as secondary to who they first met which isn't even anyone

It's not like it's just a problem for after I die, I already feel like this now. I already feel incredibly isolated from others and even from close friends or family because it is essentially impossible for all of me to forge actual connections or be acknowledged as a real person

It just makes me sad that after everything is said and done there are just literally several people that will never be mourned by about 95% of the people that will mourn whoever I've had to present as in their eyes.

Like don't get me wrong, the sad fact that no one will truly ever get to fully know about all the different aspects to a person's life and thoughts is universal

But being a system makes this a level of specificity that can't be equated to being the same thing to me

the silly part is these glasses are pretty much property of one of us specifically, and he likes to wear them when fronting (which hasn't happened in forever).

I'm lowkey wondering if it'll bring him out by accident.

it was generally a bit of an unsettling experience and i never felt safe, even though I could roam around while floating, as i often do in my dreams, especially when i'm lucid. It just had this vibe of "everyone is out to get you" to it I guess? Any of the people I saw seemed on edge and dangerous

Now I guess its onto even more stuff write... (Probably Headspace and the history of the system which is gonna take some research cause i don't remember shit haha)