Thomas McAuley
@wakapoet.bsky.social
Translator of premodern Japanese poetry.
The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.
Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’!
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’!
The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.
Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first.
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first.
Right (Both Judges – Win)
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
Since the first shower
Came to call,
Mizuguki
Hill’s treetops’
Hues fill my thoughts…
Lord Tokimasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 22
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
Since the first shower
Came to call,
Mizuguki
Hill’s treetops’
Hues fill my thoughts…
Lord Tokimasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 22
December 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Right (Both Judges – Win)
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
Since the first shower
Came to call,
Mizuguki
Hill’s treetops’
Hues fill my thoughts…
Lord Tokimasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 22
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
Since the first shower
Came to call,
Mizuguki
Hill’s treetops’
Hues fill my thoughts…
Lord Tokimasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 22
Would one really be startled by rain of varying intensity falling soundlessly in spring? As for the poem of the Right, while it does not display a playfulness which would please the eye, ‘In the distance circles / A first shower’ is a bit better in the current context.
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Would one really be startled by rain of varying intensity falling soundlessly in spring? As for the poem of the Right, while it does not display a playfulness which would please the eye, ‘In the distance circles / A first shower’ is a bit better in the current context.
Mototoshi states: one can compose about a shower falling anywhere and there’s no need to bring up a fisherman’s sedge-thatch hut, is there! Furthermore, one gets to know about a shower from the sound of it falling constantly on something like a roof of cedar boards, surely?
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Mototoshi states: one can compose about a shower falling anywhere and there’s no need to bring up a fisherman’s sedge-thatch hut, is there! Furthermore, one gets to know about a shower from the sound of it falling constantly on something like a roof of cedar boards, surely?
The poem here refers to the same peak, so it sounds as if it’s referring to monks going around. Is that what it’s about? I am not just finding fault for the sake of it—these poems are unclear. As there’s only so much that can be understood from hearing them, they should tie.
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
The poem here refers to the same peak, so it sounds as if it’s referring to monks going around. Is that what it’s about? I am not just finding fault for the sake of it—these poems are unclear. As there’s only so much that can be understood from hearing them, they should tie.
If he has not been leaked upon is this something he heard from someone else the following day? It really is very unclear. There’s a poem ‘Together with me / On my mountain pilgrimage’ which refers to showers falling on this mountain.
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
If he has not been leaked upon is this something he heard from someone else the following day? It really is very unclear. There’s a poem ‘Together with me / On my mountain pilgrimage’ which refers to showers falling on this mountain.
A shower is not something that one hears after getting up at dawn, yet this poem says that one first gets to know about it from the leaks, it seems that the poet has gone to bed, been leaked on, had his garments soaked and then got up and made a fuss.
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
A shower is not something that one hears after getting up at dawn, yet this poem says that one first gets to know about it from the leaks, it seems that the poet has gone to bed, been leaked on, had his garments soaked and then got up and made a fuss.
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, the shower sounds chilly!
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, the shower sounds chilly!
Right (M – Win)
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
On a moonlit night
From Irusa Mountain’s
High peak
In the distance circles
A first shower!
Lord Kanemasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 20
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
On a moonlit night
From Irusa Mountain’s
High peak
In the distance circles
A first shower!
Lord Kanemasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 20
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Right (M – Win)
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
On a moonlit night
From Irusa Mountain’s
High peak
In the distance circles
A first shower!
Lord Kanemasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 20
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
On a moonlit night
From Irusa Mountain’s
High peak
In the distance circles
A first shower!
Lord Kanemasa
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 20
Mototoshi states: ‘showers drip down on Mount Moru’ is a bit better than ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’, isn’t it. I feel it’s only logical that there should be no shadows in which one could hide oneself away.
November 27, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Mototoshi states: ‘showers drip down on Mount Moru’ is a bit better than ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’, isn’t it. I feel it’s only logical that there should be no shadows in which one could hide oneself away.
...otherwise it’s also unclear why one should be having difficulties crossing the mountain. If one is grieved by the falling leaves, then the poem sounds more like an ‘Scarlet Leaves’ one, and this is unreasonable. These both look to be about the same.
November 27, 2025 at 3:53 PM
...otherwise it’s also unclear why one should be having difficulties crossing the mountain. If one is grieved by the falling leaves, then the poem sounds more like an ‘Scarlet Leaves’ one, and this is unreasonable. These both look to be about the same.
As for the second poem, if one mentions ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’ and then follows it with ‘How can I find my way across?’, one should give a reason for the expression, whether it be because it’s gloomy, or because the sun is going down...
November 27, 2025 at 3:53 PM
As for the second poem, if one mentions ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’ and then follows it with ‘How can I find my way across?’, one should give a reason for the expression, whether it be because it’s gloomy, or because the sun is going down...
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, I do not feel that travelling is a natural continuation from ‘Godless Month’. ‘Is there anywhere’, too, does not sound smooth, does it.
November 27, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, I do not feel that travelling is a natural continuation from ‘Godless Month’. ‘Is there anywhere’, too, does not sound smooth, does it.
Right
くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり
Over gloomy Mount Kurabu
How can I find my way across?
In the Godless Month
Together with the leaves from the trees
A shower is falling…
Lord Nobutada
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 18
くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり
Over gloomy Mount Kurabu
How can I find my way across?
In the Godless Month
Together with the leaves from the trees
A shower is falling…
Lord Nobutada
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 18
November 27, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Right
くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり
Over gloomy Mount Kurabu
How can I find my way across?
In the Godless Month
Together with the leaves from the trees
A shower is falling…
Lord Nobutada
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 18
くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり
Over gloomy Mount Kurabu
How can I find my way across?
In the Godless Month
Together with the leaves from the trees
A shower is falling…
Lord Nobutada
Naidaijin-ke uta'awase 18
Mototoshi states: neither of these poems appears bad, so I say they tie.
November 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Mototoshi states: neither of these poems appears bad, so I say they tie.
The second poem is plainly based on an earlier work, and is not at all clear, but as it has precedent, these two are about the same.
November 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
The second poem is plainly based on an earlier work, and is not at all clear, but as it has precedent, these two are about the same.