Call me Umma - Coca and Rumma
@ummagummibear.bsky.social
Roll up for the mystery tour
By the way, I wish I didn't have to report this, but the image files for all six of The Onion's American Voices headshots (which they have used for decades) are named
face-young-man.jpg
face-young-woman.jpg
face-old-man.jpg
face-old-woman.jpg
face-asian.jpg
face-black.jpg
face-young-man.jpg
face-young-woman.jpg
face-old-man.jpg
face-old-woman.jpg
face-asian.jpg
face-black.jpg
December 8, 2025 at 10:05 PM
By the way, I wish I didn't have to report this, but the image files for all six of The Onion's American Voices headshots (which they have used for decades) are named
face-young-man.jpg
face-young-woman.jpg
face-old-man.jpg
face-old-woman.jpg
face-asian.jpg
face-black.jpg
face-young-man.jpg
face-young-woman.jpg
face-old-man.jpg
face-old-woman.jpg
face-asian.jpg
face-black.jpg
You're also paying for someone to forget to refill your water glass although you asked them twice, and for someone to turn up the music volume so loud that you can't have a normal conversation.
(Not all restaurants, I know, but enough of them that I generally prefer eating at home)
(Not all restaurants, I know, but enough of them that I generally prefer eating at home)
December 8, 2025 at 4:38 PM
You're also paying for someone to forget to refill your water glass although you asked them twice, and for someone to turn up the music volume so loud that you can't have a normal conversation.
(Not all restaurants, I know, but enough of them that I generally prefer eating at home)
(Not all restaurants, I know, but enough of them that I generally prefer eating at home)
No logic analysis needed. He just identifies with the "white" tribe and wants to promote its power.
December 8, 2025 at 3:03 PM
No logic analysis needed. He just identifies with the "white" tribe and wants to promote its power.
It me except I am area dad
December 8, 2025 at 3:02 PM
It me except I am area dad
Where exactly?
December 8, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Where exactly?
Amazing
December 7, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Amazing
The Cake version of I Will Survive is better anyway
December 7, 2025 at 3:34 PM
The Cake version of I Will Survive is better anyway
The best part of this photo is the little golden goblin gouging out its eyes in the foreground. I dearly hope Trump features it in all his group shots from now on.
December 7, 2025 at 3:19 PM
The best part of this photo is the little golden goblin gouging out its eyes in the foreground. I dearly hope Trump features it in all his group shots from now on.
Kicking might be stretching it a little. Can a waxwork dummy kick?
December 7, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Kicking might be stretching it a little. Can a waxwork dummy kick?
First concert I ever went to: Gloria Gaynor opening for The Village People... Maybe Trump hit the same show when the tour hit NYC and that's why he still loves Gloria and the VP
December 7, 2025 at 3:15 PM
First concert I ever went to: Gloria Gaynor opening for The Village People... Maybe Trump hit the same show when the tour hit NYC and that's why he still loves Gloria and the VP
Ethical oil
December 7, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Ethical oil
Happy Holidays, bitches!
December 7, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Happy Holidays, bitches!
Did you try kicking it?
December 7, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Did you try kicking it?
And so, I presume, is he
December 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
And so, I presume, is he
I'm thinking of Airplane! and … my answer is "nope"
December 7, 2025 at 1:57 AM
I'm thinking of Airplane! and … my answer is "nope"
And then I'll burn them with memes so dank, they'll have no choice but to surrender!
December 7, 2025 at 12:27 AM
And then I'll burn them with memes so dank, they'll have no choice but to surrender!
AmericanPapaBear: "My part in the war will be (from the comfort of my basement) to launch the sickest malware attack the Libs have ever seen!"
December 6, 2025 at 6:58 PM
AmericanPapaBear: "My part in the war will be (from the comfort of my basement) to launch the sickest malware attack the Libs have ever seen!"
Until the crispy bacon is in my mouth, that's just hearsay.
December 6, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Until the crispy bacon is in my mouth, that's just hearsay.
✳️✳️
You may get a third star if you can show me that the bacon was sufficiently crispy
You may get a third star if you can show me that the bacon was sufficiently crispy
December 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
✳️✳️
You may get a third star if you can show me that the bacon was sufficiently crispy
You may get a third star if you can show me that the bacon was sufficiently crispy
He's no J Edgar, and I suppose we should be thankful for that
December 5, 2025 at 10:27 PM
He's no J Edgar, and I suppose we should be thankful for that
RIP! I just heard him referenced in the second episode of Pluribus
December 5, 2025 at 7:33 PM
RIP! I just heard him referenced in the second episode of Pluribus
What was the answer in the end? Did the bus outrun the LRT or vice versa?
December 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
What was the answer in the end? Did the bus outrun the LRT or vice versa?
Every day is the worst day to quit caffeine... which reminds me, it's time to stop browsing youtube for the latest espresso machines I could buy, and get up to make my afternoon coffee
December 5, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Every day is the worst day to quit caffeine... which reminds me, it's time to stop browsing youtube for the latest espresso machines I could buy, and get up to make my afternoon coffee