idk why i keep doing this to myself but i also cannot stop and i need to have a conversation with her about all this because it’s not healthy but i’m also terrified of confrontation and i can’t make myself do it and GOD i hate this i’m a fucking coward

i’m not even spending it on fun stuff either like damn life really is that expensive apparently

i had this exact same experience when i did my rewatch in january lmao

i’ve already been discharged! turns out i was subconsciously hyperventilating and that caused my symptoms to get worse

to clarify: i’m safe, i’m not having any thoughts of harming myself but i AM doing bad, i’ve been crying non stop and having trouble eating but i’ve scheduled extra therapy sessions and i’m trying to take care of myself again

it’s the way i just instantly started crying like damn

sorry guys i'm fucking Going Through It (it being my frist lesbian situationship)

she took the long way home and when i let her in she was worried about me because she noticed i hadn't touched the lego on my dining table since sunday. she held me so tightly as we hugged goodbye and i just don't know what to do with all of these feelings when i'm so sure she feels it too

there wasn't room and she kissed me for an hour straight. it just doesn't make sense that she'd do all that and then straight up tell me she has zero feelings. even now, we had lunch yesterday and she drove me home (bad idea, i'm aware)

she's the one who kissed my shoulder in line at the bookstore, she's the one who proposed a london trip. she made me cookies and vacuum sealed them so i'd have them all week at camp, she asked if she could help me paint my hallway, she told me to come closer to her on the couch even though

i've always waited for her to take initiative because she said she needed time and i respected that, so everything that happened was completely on her terms. she's the one who kissed me first and who kept on kissing me again and again. she's the one who'd never let go of my hand,