The Gunch
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theguncher.bsky.social
The Gunch
@theguncher.bsky.social
life would be so much better without the knowledge of its inherent doom
September 5, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I got fuckin pica because I'm a badass brick munchin stoner
June 16, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Reposted by The Gunch
wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?

guard: [looking away] fine

wife: did something happen?

guard: [tearing up] no

wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
May 18, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
Alien 1: Behold, my bean juice
Alien 2: your bean juice?
Alien 1: yes, i use my electronic h2o heater to extract a flavor from these beans
Alien 2: marvelous
Alien 1: truly stimulating 😉
Under my new regime we will dissect the brains of people who laugh at those stupid fucking alien comics to figure out what went wrong during development
December 17, 2024 at 7:01 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
faint tapping at my chamber door reddit. how to fix a drafty window reddit. what to do about incessant tapping at chamber door reddit
May 21, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
it is so distasteful of leftists to call attention to my giant dead rotting heart that weeps pus and stinks. I swear common decency used to be a thing
May 21, 2025 at 11:16 PM
The cursed slate in the bathroom started whispering in Latin again. Whatever. I don't even care anymore.
May 22, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Reminder to tip your local warlock!
May 22, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Fuckin CoD players, man. You give em one good map and they never shut up about it.

Why did we elect a gamer?
May 5, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Hey boss sorry I can't come in today I went insane and plucked my eyes out
May 3, 2025 at 10:38 PM
She didn't win in court or anything, I just don't want those things anymore tbh
My evil witch wife is divorcing me, and she is not only getting the evil castle but also full custody of our misbegotten homonculus. Fuck my evil ass warlock life man.
May 3, 2025 at 10:33 PM
My evil witch wife is divorcing me, and she is not only getting the evil castle but also full custody of our misbegotten homonculus. Fuck my evil ass warlock life man.
May 3, 2025 at 10:32 PM
My burger tulpa keeps insisting I invest in the stock market
April 22, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Reposted by The Gunch
February 16, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Reposted by The Gunch
how i imagine all of you that act like responsible deskplay is impossible
February 16, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
February 13, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Bro wth is this
February 10, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
fyi, for any cis folks w/ cash to burn who want to state their support for trans kids, teens, and adults in no uncertain terms, Transfigure Print Co. are good folks making really cool shit.

transfigureprintco.com
February 7, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Reposted by The Gunch
Okay, it's Childish Gambino,
Homegirl drop it like it’s Quahog
Move Brian Griffin like fuck it he’s a whole dog
Move Stewie Griffin, man, fuck it, I love either
I love Chris, I love Lois, dude, I fucking love Peter
February 7, 2025 at 9:24 PM
The beast will lay on anything. It's her favorite hobby.
February 7, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I went to the obelisk and it said "ᚮᚮᚮ ᛁ×ᛉ ᚠᚱᛆᚴᛁᛜ ᛁᛐ ᚢᛔ ᛍᛁᛍᛍᚤ ᛍᛐᚤᛚᛂ" what the fuck does that mean bro
February 6, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Me, walking into my friends house: haha hey man did you know that, uhm...

Floating Orb of Nargalesh that sometimes materializes in his hallway: 𝔚ℌ𝔄𝔗?

Me: uh... nevermind.
February 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I need my tome, I need my robe (we cast spells!)
Goblins pullin up and they suck us up (hey!)
I'm in that tower baby, yeah, come show me love (ooh!)
I don't cast with nobody lil mage, I show you nothin (show you nothin!)
I ain't apprentice nobody lil mage, I keep a wand!
February 6, 2025 at 6:33 PM