John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
Come for the “humor”, stay because of Stockholm Syndrome.
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Pinned
“Captain, I do believe a larger vessel might be in order."
--Jaws, dubbed for England
--Jaws, dubbed for England
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Thinking about becoming a handsome ER doc who doesn’t play by the rules
November 18, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Thinking about becoming a handsome ER doc who doesn’t play by the rules
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
(taking you gently by the shirt collar after you tell me to have a great day) i don’t know if that will happen yet. there’s no way for me know that
November 10, 2025 at 7:05 PM
(taking you gently by the shirt collar after you tell me to have a great day) i don’t know if that will happen yet. there’s no way for me know that
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
The Gallup poll is a disaster for Trump. Nixon is the only president with a worse net approval at this point in a second term than he has.
No second-term presidency’s net approval has risen more than 5 points from this point through the midterms.
No second-term presidency’s net approval has risen more than 5 points from this point through the midterms.
December 1, 2025 at 10:39 PM
The Gallup poll is a disaster for Trump. Nixon is the only president with a worse net approval at this point in a second term than he has.
No second-term presidency’s net approval has risen more than 5 points from this point through the midterms.
No second-term presidency’s net approval has risen more than 5 points from this point through the midterms.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
There’s a lot to unpack here…
Bombing vessels in the Caribbean without congressional authorization is already an unconstitutional use of military force.
Hegseth’s double tap on survivors looks like a war crime, and both Armed Services Committees want him in the chair to answer for it.
1/2
Bombing vessels in the Caribbean without congressional authorization is already an unconstitutional use of military force.
Hegseth’s double tap on survivors looks like a war crime, and both Armed Services Committees want him in the chair to answer for it.
1/2
December 1, 2025 at 2:48 PM
There’s a lot to unpack here…
Bombing vessels in the Caribbean without congressional authorization is already an unconstitutional use of military force.
Hegseth’s double tap on survivors looks like a war crime, and both Armed Services Committees want him in the chair to answer for it.
1/2
Bombing vessels in the Caribbean without congressional authorization is already an unconstitutional use of military force.
Hegseth’s double tap on survivors looks like a war crime, and both Armed Services Committees want him in the chair to answer for it.
1/2
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
The Munsters poses the chilling question, what if your parents were a vampire and a Frankenstein? The Addams Family poses the chilling question, what if your parents were openly sexual?
December 1, 2025 at 2:56 AM
The Munsters poses the chilling question, what if your parents were a vampire and a Frankenstein? The Addams Family poses the chilling question, what if your parents were openly sexual?
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Starting //// going
December 1, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Starting //// going
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 AM
if you tell your parents that you don’t want to have kids and they look offended, it’s because they’re thinking “damn, why didn’t I think of that“
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Hello friends, I had an emergency diskectomy due to a herniated disc that caused both legs to fail and go numb. I’m recovering and pain is gone, but both legs are numb below knee and I cannot flex my ankles or stand. Anyone went through this? If so, please let me know what your outcome was. Thanks
November 24, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Hello friends, I had an emergency diskectomy due to a herniated disc that caused both legs to fail and go numb. I’m recovering and pain is gone, but both legs are numb below knee and I cannot flex my ankles or stand. Anyone went through this? If so, please let me know what your outcome was. Thanks
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Wife: [whispering in my ear] what's your fantasy, baby
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
December 9, 2024 at 12:50 AM
Wife: [whispering in my ear] what's your fantasy, baby
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
one of the best holiday family stories I’ve read. also, go follow @underalls.bsky.social who is an exceptional human here and also in real life and whatnot DO IT WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY DONE IT I HAVE SPOKEN
my racist uncle, upon learning i was taking martial arts, decided to put me in a chokehold to prove i “couldn’t get out of it.” i did, and in the process accidentally kicked him in the knee so hard he fell to the ground yelling “ow! my knee! you really hurt me!”
anyway we don’t talk anymore
anyway we don’t talk anymore
You're allowed to chokeslam your racist uncle into the green bean casserole tomorrow, they just announced it on the radio
December 1, 2025 at 2:12 AM
one of the best holiday family stories I’ve read. also, go follow @underalls.bsky.social who is an exceptional human here and also in real life and whatnot DO IT WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY DONE IT I HAVE SPOKEN
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Today, on an early morning walk through my hometown, the wind delivered the scent of a pizzeria prepping for the day, and I was instantly transported to 1980, and the humid back room of Vincent’s, my best friend and I pumping the quarters we’d stolen from our moms’ purses into the Asteroids machine.
November 30, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Today, on an early morning walk through my hometown, the wind delivered the scent of a pizzeria prepping for the day, and I was instantly transported to 1980, and the humid back room of Vincent’s, my best friend and I pumping the quarters we’d stolen from our moms’ purses into the Asteroids machine.
I get cardio by getting off the couch, walking right up to the tv screen to read the text messages a person sends or receives.
December 1, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I get cardio by getting off the couch, walking right up to the tv screen to read the text messages a person sends or receives.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
I love being in my late 30s so much. I love not giving a shit about being famous or successful anymore. I love prioritizing being comfortable, and being around people who love me.
Could do without the aching joints and looming perimenopause, but everything else? Golden.
Could do without the aching joints and looming perimenopause, but everything else? Golden.
November 30, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I love being in my late 30s so much. I love not giving a shit about being famous or successful anymore. I love prioritizing being comfortable, and being around people who love me.
Could do without the aching joints and looming perimenopause, but everything else? Golden.
Could do without the aching joints and looming perimenopause, but everything else? Golden.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Translation: Pete may well go down for this. But I’m not going with him.
Reporter: If there were a second strike that killed wounded people, would that be legal?
Trump: I don’t know that happened and Pete said he did not even know what people were talking about. I wouldn’t have wanted a second strike. The first strike was very lethal. It was fine.
Trump: I don’t know that happened and Pete said he did not even know what people were talking about. I wouldn’t have wanted a second strike. The first strike was very lethal. It was fine.
November 30, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Translation: Pete may well go down for this. But I’m not going with him.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
in such a shitty stage of my life it makes me yearn for the other, marginally less shitty stages
December 1, 2025 at 2:28 AM
in such a shitty stage of my life it makes me yearn for the other, marginally less shitty stages
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
A+ headline work from the AP apnews.com/article/dona...
December 1, 2025 at 1:45 AM
A+ headline work from the AP apnews.com/article/dona...
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
tfw you've just stripped healthcare from 17 million Americans and ensured the closure of rural hospitals
July 1, 2025 at 6:38 PM
tfw you've just stripped healthcare from 17 million Americans and ensured the closure of rural hospitals
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
They say Canada is the land of the free—free healthcare, free apologies, and for most seniors, free to forget where you left your keys.
July 1, 2025 at 7:17 PM
They say Canada is the land of the free—free healthcare, free apologies, and for most seniors, free to forget where you left your keys.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
I got permission to share this, and I'm extremely grateful for that.
The Onion got this letter from one of our subscribers in Alaska. She works with dementia patients and decided to leave a copy in the car for each one.
This email made my year. Read it and you'll see what I mean. People are good.
The Onion got this letter from one of our subscribers in Alaska. She works with dementia patients and decided to leave a copy in the car for each one.
This email made my year. Read it and you'll see what I mean. People are good.
July 1, 2025 at 6:46 PM
I got permission to share this, and I'm extremely grateful for that.
The Onion got this letter from one of our subscribers in Alaska. She works with dementia patients and decided to leave a copy in the car for each one.
This email made my year. Read it and you'll see what I mean. People are good.
The Onion got this letter from one of our subscribers in Alaska. She works with dementia patients and decided to leave a copy in the car for each one.
This email made my year. Read it and you'll see what I mean. People are good.
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
“Who’s at the door?”
“Bee.”
“Fine, who be at the door?”
“Bee.”
“Fine, who be at the door?”
July 1, 2025 at 12:10 PM
“Who’s at the door?”
“Bee.”
“Fine, who be at the door?”
“Bee.”
“Fine, who be at the door?”
Explore this gift article from The New York Times. You can read it for free without a subscription. www.nytimes.com/live/2025/07...
Trump Administration Live Updates: Senate Republicans Overcome 3 Holdouts to Send Signature Policy Bill to House
www.nytimes.com
July 1, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Explore this gift article from The New York Times. You can read it for free without a subscription. www.nytimes.com/live/2025/07...
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
It's crazy to think of how much better the world would be if one person had the courtesy to die
June 22, 2025 at 6:33 PM
It's crazy to think of how much better the world would be if one person had the courtesy to die
Reposted by John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
Who called it a condom and not a hardcover?
June 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Who called it a condom and not a hardcover?