I blinked and told my son about Santa and sex in the same week when he was 11. Settled a lot of family business that week.

My wife nor I had heard of elf/shelf until our son was in preschool so we didn’t do it. It bothered my mother in law bc she felt like he was being left out so we negotiated a deal where we’d place the elf in funny situations while all acknowledging the elf was not real. Somehow it worked.

For the sake of clarity, that gif is not an attack on tofuducken, which is very intriguing. it is only meant as an attack on you and your cooking prowess.

people just volunteer to be cops every day

Did two emergency vets in first 4 months (the dark chocolate oatmeal holiday cookies and a meatball encased in aluminum fool) and just accepted he couldn’t be killed.

Gotta set the tone with bullies great and small

excellent use of the college admissions process as material. watch this space for additional application based dark humor as we head to the Bronx this weekend.

Pretty sure I drove past that scene on Sunday. A legendary roadside florist ran into the woods and escaped/safe by Sunday and half of east Charlotte showed up