Every time I would find a bug in the yard and hunt through BugGuide to learn that presumably it has a larval form but that’s all we know, I would twitch a little.

It bums me out to do this. But I feel relief. And I’m proud of myself for recognizing my limit while there’s still time to withdraw.

and I’m trying to keep up with regular ol’ grad school while working full-time (and also sleeping and cooking food and exercising???)

I don’t think I can research, write, revise, and present a conference paper in these circumstances and still be okay. I’m barely okay right now.

I’m deeply depressed. My cat is about to have major surgery (again), I’m about to change up my meds, my car needs repair, we’re having serious discussions at home about how to navigate the fallout from the coup currently happening in our government (?!?!),