Occam’s Razor Burn
@stochasticnoise.bsky.social
Equinox, symmetry, and the balance is right.
Pinned
I don’t need a boyfriend. I need somebody to tell me I’m pretty and whether the tire pressure warning light is on because it matters or if it’s just cold.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
When those commercial leases roll off, you will never hear the word collaboration again
November 28, 2025 at 2:39 AM
When those commercial leases roll off, you will never hear the word collaboration again
I just had a guy at the bar in a pizzeria uno tell me he’s an undercover federal agent.
I think that means I’m looking kind of cute today.
I think that means I’m looking kind of cute today.
November 26, 2025 at 10:46 PM
I just had a guy at the bar in a pizzeria uno tell me he’s an undercover federal agent.
I think that means I’m looking kind of cute today.
I think that means I’m looking kind of cute today.
Of course it’s not a hostage situation. It’s more like a party where everybody just realized that alpha beta omega pregamed a fifth of everclear.
We all know somebody’s gonna call the cops sometime in the next 5-30 minutes and there are guys in the corner taking bets on how long till it happens.
We all know somebody’s gonna call the cops sometime in the next 5-30 minutes and there are guys in the corner taking bets on how long till it happens.
November 26, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Of course it’s not a hostage situation. It’s more like a party where everybody just realized that alpha beta omega pregamed a fifth of everclear.
We all know somebody’s gonna call the cops sometime in the next 5-30 minutes and there are guys in the corner taking bets on how long till it happens.
We all know somebody’s gonna call the cops sometime in the next 5-30 minutes and there are guys in the corner taking bets on how long till it happens.
I’m an objectively terrible person and that is my favorite thing about myself.
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 AM
I’m an objectively terrible person and that is my favorite thing about myself.
I don’t need a boyfriend. I need somebody to tell me I’m pretty and whether the tire pressure warning light is on because it matters or if it’s just cold.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
November 17, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I don’t need a boyfriend. I need somebody to tell me I’m pretty and whether the tire pressure warning light is on because it matters or if it’s just cold.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
I also want chicken parmigiana and I need concrete instructions on how to go about handling that.
I have this coworker where I am well within bitch eating crackers territory.
Like I can’t stand even the sound of his voice anymore.
Like I can’t stand even the sound of his voice anymore.
November 17, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I have this coworker where I am well within bitch eating crackers territory.
Like I can’t stand even the sound of his voice anymore.
Like I can’t stand even the sound of his voice anymore.
Watching wicked again and can I register once more- girl is just green- and not in the annoying metaphorical way where you have to explain everything thirty thousand times.
November 16, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Watching wicked again and can I register once more- girl is just green- and not in the annoying metaphorical way where you have to explain everything thirty thousand times.
Opinions that make me unpopular at work:
There are two types of investment- ones I can break your legs if you fuck up and ones where you asked to hold a dollar
What the fuck do people mean by alternatives? Shit I can break extra legs for or if someone super sketchy wants to hold a dollar?
There are two types of investment- ones I can break your legs if you fuck up and ones where you asked to hold a dollar
What the fuck do people mean by alternatives? Shit I can break extra legs for or if someone super sketchy wants to hold a dollar?
November 16, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Opinions that make me unpopular at work:
There are two types of investment- ones I can break your legs if you fuck up and ones where you asked to hold a dollar
What the fuck do people mean by alternatives? Shit I can break extra legs for or if someone super sketchy wants to hold a dollar?
There are two types of investment- ones I can break your legs if you fuck up and ones where you asked to hold a dollar
What the fuck do people mean by alternatives? Shit I can break extra legs for or if someone super sketchy wants to hold a dollar?
Hey, that was my joke
I’m not sure what Magic The Gathering has to do with Epstein! But you all seem to be very upset about it
November 16, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Hey, that was my joke
No but a nontrivial amount of society’s resources are really trying to make it happen.
is blade runner a true story
November 16, 2025 at 8:42 PM
No but a nontrivial amount of society’s resources are really trying to make it happen.
Reposted by Occam’s Razor Burn
they should invent books where the pages are fruit rollups
November 16, 2025 at 7:53 PM
they should invent books where the pages are fruit rollups
When I say MTG just know that I mean magic the gathering every single time.
November 16, 2025 at 6:55 PM
When I say MTG just know that I mean magic the gathering every single time.
Like protected from who
quick question, are blue check non-havers a protected class
November 16, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Like protected from who
It has been zero days since some dude made me cry in jujitsu. He didn’t hurt me, but Mr. 225 lbs kept saying i could to pass his guard if I believed in myself more and wouldn’t listen when I answered his glib bullshit. I got frustrated and teared up, I said “I’m doing the best I can” and left.
November 16, 2025 at 5:57 PM
It has been zero days since some dude made me cry in jujitsu. He didn’t hurt me, but Mr. 225 lbs kept saying i could to pass his guard if I believed in myself more and wouldn’t listen when I answered his glib bullshit. I got frustrated and teared up, I said “I’m doing the best I can” and left.
Okay- on instagram somebody was asking: if you would smile if your petty grudge were to trip over a curb, and I wasn’t happy at all thinking of him tripping
But y’all-the idea of him failing to account for a currency hedge put a smile on my face that usually only happens if I’m punching somebody
But y’all-the idea of him failing to account for a currency hedge put a smile on my face that usually only happens if I’m punching somebody
November 16, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Okay- on instagram somebody was asking: if you would smile if your petty grudge were to trip over a curb, and I wasn’t happy at all thinking of him tripping
But y’all-the idea of him failing to account for a currency hedge put a smile on my face that usually only happens if I’m punching somebody
But y’all-the idea of him failing to account for a currency hedge put a smile on my face that usually only happens if I’m punching somebody
Why is open enrollment so depressing
November 14, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Why is open enrollment so depressing
I am at Barnes and Nobel- am I getting the 2-in-1 reading throw and wrap or am I getting Sherpa lined reading socks?
November 14, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I am at Barnes and Nobel- am I getting the 2-in-1 reading throw and wrap or am I getting Sherpa lined reading socks?
I’m listening to a podcast and with three pieces of information: 1-the owner of Macy’s was involved 2-there’s an orphanage with a 40% death rate and 3-it had its own dairy herd. I could guess the name of the orphanage and the decade this happened.
I’m so pleased with myself- absolutely insufferable
I’m so pleased with myself- absolutely insufferable
November 14, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I’m listening to a podcast and with three pieces of information: 1-the owner of Macy’s was involved 2-there’s an orphanage with a 40% death rate and 3-it had its own dairy herd. I could guess the name of the orphanage and the decade this happened.
I’m so pleased with myself- absolutely insufferable
I’m so pleased with myself- absolutely insufferable
Me realizing that we’re one step closer to le tits now season.
a woman in a red sweater is sitting on a couch and saying `` i smell snow '' .
ALT: a woman in a red sweater is sitting on a couch and saying `` i smell snow '' .
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Me realizing that we’re one step closer to le tits now season.
Be the chaos you want to see in the world.
November 13, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Be the chaos you want to see in the world.
I am sad. And what do we do when we’re sad-
The answer is a new tattoo but I’m in a surprisingly flexible headspace and therefore taking other suggestions.
I already do all the truly dumb adrenaline shit, and i am absolutely about to do a fuckton more- just so you don’t waste your time
The answer is a new tattoo but I’m in a surprisingly flexible headspace and therefore taking other suggestions.
I already do all the truly dumb adrenaline shit, and i am absolutely about to do a fuckton more- just so you don’t waste your time
November 10, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I am sad. And what do we do when we’re sad-
The answer is a new tattoo but I’m in a surprisingly flexible headspace and therefore taking other suggestions.
I already do all the truly dumb adrenaline shit, and i am absolutely about to do a fuckton more- just so you don’t waste your time
The answer is a new tattoo but I’m in a surprisingly flexible headspace and therefore taking other suggestions.
I already do all the truly dumb adrenaline shit, and i am absolutely about to do a fuckton more- just so you don’t waste your time
I know an intelligent man who, based on the soup of his current media environment, claimed loudly to a room full of people that raw milk could be used in lieu of blood in an emergency transfusion.
November 10, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I know an intelligent man who, based on the soup of his current media environment, claimed loudly to a room full of people that raw milk could be used in lieu of blood in an emergency transfusion.
Some people need to believe that once upon a time people were all strong-but they have the discipline to face the pain, labor, and discomfort of the past- and so, reap the good health borne of that superior morality
Or they have to admit the race is not to the swift. And they’re not tryna hear that
Or they have to admit the race is not to the swift. And they’re not tryna hear that
It is genuinely hard for most people to grasp how poor the past was.
November 10, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Some people need to believe that once upon a time people were all strong-but they have the discipline to face the pain, labor, and discomfort of the past- and so, reap the good health borne of that superior morality
Or they have to admit the race is not to the swift. And they’re not tryna hear that
Or they have to admit the race is not to the swift. And they’re not tryna hear that
I miss having a drafts folder. A true cabinet of horrors.
November 9, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I miss having a drafts folder. A true cabinet of horrors.
Me flirting:
November 9, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Me flirting: