waiting for the day someone tries to steal from my home.. stupid bastards won't be expecting the legion of Chain Chomps at my command

I don't care how bad the economy gets i am not doing sports gambling

coming back to this app after a bit and damn... it's way better than I remember lol

youre the head of the PTA 💀 The peanus toucher associateion.. ⁉️. LOL

I predict with a 67.8^ (2.5±)% chance that elon will add in the next few months a like-counter on each account akin to Reddit Karma

recently-divorced 30-something twitter devotee that describes herself as a "Radical Witch Wombmyn" reentering the workforce in a major US city:

"does anyone else get major bad vibes from h0m3l3ss people? 😅"

I have doubts about posting on this site, but with rampant furry porn problems, accounts called "no context dogs" and "cats with confusing auras" maybe this place has a true chance. If they just add DMs it's basically Twitter

Sorry boss the workplace is unionizing. Contract says we can only post for 5 minutes every shift. Unacceptable. Your home will be targeted until demands are met

No one does dark magicks on the computer for trolling purposes anymore. What happened to this country

The devil starts tidying your room in hell the moment he sees you make a linkedin

The crops are plentiful this year

BREAKING: Hunter Biden caught smoking CRACK with Gnome named "Jereldo" out of a Mushroom-shaped pipe.

IMAGES RELEASING TONIGHT!

man who would have died in a tragic and sudden crowd trampling incident in Athens, 456 BC: I should listen to a podcast,

Health Application: "You spent 142.37 hours arguing with people online this year!"

Me, laying on the bed with my feet up: "haha yayyyy"

HA: "do you want to call a loved one? 😕"

Me, rolling over: "text four contacts my intentions to be bitten by a lizard tomorrow"

Who up casting fireball