Speccy Twat
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speccytwat.bsky.social
Speccy Twat
@speccytwat.bsky.social
1.5K followers 840 following 3.8K posts
Wazzock, dingbat and absolute flangleswubbler (not necessarily in that order).
Typical Aquarian: arty, farty & cynical as fuck, particularly regarding astrology.
Banner: Hyacinth Bucket (…yes) waving a pink cup while grimacing. Photo: A twat.
In specs.
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speccytwat.bsky.social
Roger (sic) Mortis.
November 29, 2025 at 11:05 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
She’s impossible to resist 😁
My hound, looking somewhat like she’s been run over and parked on the sofa: half sitting up, half collapsed on a grey background. Completely devoid of grace, poise, or any cares about same!
November 28, 2025 at 9:43 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Just CALM DOWN, hound 😊
A close up of a blissfully recumbent hound (shaggy blonde fur and dark eyes/ schnozzer), with lower incisors visible.
November 28, 2025 at 9:31 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
That’s John Sergeant!
BBC reporter dude John Sergeant, he of the rubbery chops.
November 28, 2025 at 5:05 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Come the revolution, a certain irritating splooglefrinker at my work will be next against the wall.
Boo bop fucking bop! 🤨

(Hello, friends. Y’alright? 😁👋🏼)
Citizen Wolfie Smith (Robert Lindsay), his right fist raised while standing outside a tube station (from the letters I can see, might be Epping Broadway. Anyway; I digress.); he is wearing a black beret, and his arm is clad in a furry looking pale coat. He’s drawing on a fag, right in the middle of his gob. Power to the people! (Ask a pensioner…)
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Best possible accompanying photo, i newspaper… 🤓👌🏼
‘Adolescence lasts into your 30s’ sub headline, accompanied by a photo of Kevin and Perry from Harry Enfield’s splendid televisual delight. Sulky buggers (Mrs Patterson)…
November 26, 2025 at 8:48 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
He was nothing without Syd… 🤨
Jeff Goldblum.
November 25, 2025 at 8:58 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Cyl-ly buggers… 🤓

@privateeyenews.bsky.social
A monochrome cartoon from the current issue of Private Eye, with side by side scenes from an optician’s shop: joke specs are being placed on the customer’s face, with the words “Funnier with… or without?” underneath, as they’re subsequently removed. My entirely unfunny “cyl-ly” wordplay is based on the part of an optical prescription that corrects astigmatism (cylindrical power), and I feel that explaining it so throughly can ONLY MAKE IT FUNNIER… Huh? Please yourself!
November 25, 2025 at 5:33 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Don’t be fooled: this is what a bully looks like*

*a cute, benevolent, adoring bully, who only wants/ expects to eat that banana you’ve just snapped off the bunch, thank you veh much 🤩
My shaggy blonde rescue hound, sitting on some wooden flooring in my kitchen, and looking up with such adorable optimism, it’s impossible to refuse… she’s got darker fur on lugholes and muzzle, and very dark eyes. The front lower gnashers are the only ones visible.
November 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
They’re not wrong; that IS a great gift.
😎
A plain white, unassuming mug, in its packaging and in a shelf… underneath, in bold black print: I’M A TWAT Lovely jubbly!
November 23, 2025 at 11:11 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Quite.
My Pacer app, showing my steps so far as 6969. Yes, I am that immature *smirks*
November 22, 2025 at 6:03 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Gone up in the world 🤩
The same sparkly heeled party shoe, only now it’s been hung from the latticed upper portion of someone’s garden fence. Try and contain your excitement, won’t you?
November 20, 2025 at 5:49 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Bags. For freezing stuff.
Comme ci ⬇️
🤓
November 20, 2025 at 7:23 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
You can’t taste the plastic, to be honest… probably because it’s recycled?
#CrispsAndStuffAndRockNRoll
Packet of Tyrrell’s lightly sea salted crisps, with ‘now made with 25% recycled plastic’ emblazoned across it. Deliberately obtuse misinterpretation by yours truly, just for a change…
November 19, 2025 at 1:37 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Lion bar, though…

Wasn’t it?

Marvellous!
(Reader: it fucking was! 🤩)
A photo of a (now empty) Lion bar wrapper, on a knackered Ikea dining table (it’s so old, it’s got crayon marks underneath, done by my now 17 year old…). An almost empty white mug of coffee is next to it, and I’m pointing at the chocolate wrapper. Do try and contain your excitement… (Lion bars are fucking WONDERFUL, though!)
November 18, 2025 at 6:35 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
🫠
November 17, 2025 at 6:56 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
“But Wesley, dear boy: what about the plain ones?”
🧐
Front of today’s i newspaper: A determined (I presume that’s the expression he was aiming for) Wes Streeting, with the subtitle: “My message to striking doctors”. I’m being deliberately obtuse, aren’t I? Plus ça change, and all that… Cuppa?
November 17, 2025 at 6:34 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
*snores*…

😊
Recumbent diva rescue hound (shaggy blonde ness with darker eyes/ schnozzer/ ears/ chin), with glaringly white lower incisors glinting at us. Top set are hidden beneath her upper lip. Tough life, innit? The words ‘this dog needs to chill out a bit’ are overlaid across her shoulders. Same photo, but a close up on the face, and the words ‘actually snoring’ (she is, as I type!)
November 15, 2025 at 9:11 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Nearly…
Steve Coogan in Paul Calf mode: awful patchy blonde mullet, flag hanging out of his sneering gob, and leaning nonchalantly against a mostly unseen car. Bag o’ shite!
November 15, 2025 at 4:23 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
(It was still there on my lunchtime perambulation…

OR WAS IT ANOTHER ONE, but an exact replica? We will never know*… 😱)

*or care, obviously
The same spiky wedding-ish shoe as the last post, only someone/ the wind has turned it 180°, and the pavement is understandably wetter than the previous day. Christ knows how the sodding thing hadn’t floated out to sea yesterday (I live in the middle Midlands, for clarity.).
November 15, 2025 at 8:42 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
A young Vlad Putin, if I’m not mistaken…
#totp
A fella with the most fleeting similarity to Evil Dictator, Vladimir Putin, on TOTP.
November 14, 2025 at 8:21 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Canine rapture 😊
My Romanian fuzzmeister hound, recumbent on a grey sofa; her lower incisors are visible, and her eyes seem to be rolling back in her cranium.
November 14, 2025 at 7:59 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
A lunchtime stroll has left me with so many questions…

🤨
A single left shoe on a leaf-strewn pavement; it’s pointy, sparkly, and something which, if I attempted to tottering about whilst sporting it and its corresponding number, I’d probably break my neck…
November 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Off out to the talkies shortly… 🎥
(Nobody actually buys snackage grub at the cinema, do they?)
I shall be taking my comfort rucksack, for emotional support*

*nibbles and shizz support 😎👌🏼
Two Ikea food bags, stuffed to the gills with sweet and salty popcorn; a small knock off Tupperware ish pots, one containing colourful Randoms, and the other with some chocolatey nuggets of fun from Aldi. Only the best! (No euphemisms were detected in this Alt Text, despite your beliefs to the contrary.)
November 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Clifford Syrup Richard, with jarringly darker hair than his aged skin might suggest. Dot Cotton, smokin’ a fag in the laundrette.
November 12, 2025 at 7:38 AM