Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
Pinned
Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris
archive.org
Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...
The idea to ask AI how long to microwave a raw turkey came to me too late to be funny.
November 29, 2025 at 3:00 AM
The idea to ask AI how long to microwave a raw turkey came to me too late to be funny.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May the sports team from your area reign victorious today.
November 27, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May the sports team from your area reign victorious today.
I got some shitty news a couple hours ago. My sister in law’s brother had a heart attack and is brain dead. They’ll be shutting down the machines keeping him alive right about now. I didn’t know him well. I’m just thinking about my brother and his family. It’s a terrible prelude to Thanksgiving.
November 25, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I got some shitty news a couple hours ago. My sister in law’s brother had a heart attack and is brain dead. They’ll be shutting down the machines keeping him alive right about now. I didn’t know him well. I’m just thinking about my brother and his family. It’s a terrible prelude to Thanksgiving.
This is still funny to me after all these years. I hope you’ll enjoy it. youtu.be/lgSCp__lU-I?...
The Ben Stiller Show (1992): Die Hard 12
YouTube video by stephenaltobello
youtu.be
November 25, 2025 at 12:13 PM
This is still funny to me after all these years. I hope you’ll enjoy it. youtu.be/lgSCp__lU-I?...
I’ve got BBC News on as a background. They just had a story about how the UK has £3 trillion in national debt. Call me crazy, but my reaction as an American was, “Pfft! Is that all? That’s nothing. We have like $22 trillion in debt. I laugh at your three trillion pounds!”
November 23, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I’ve got BBC News on as a background. They just had a story about how the UK has £3 trillion in national debt. Call me crazy, but my reaction as an American was, “Pfft! Is that all? That’s nothing. We have like $22 trillion in debt. I laugh at your three trillion pounds!”
This is an old joke, but I’ll tell it anyway.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge says, “Mr. Mouse, I understand that you want to divorce Mrs. Mouse for mental incapacity.” Mickey replies, “No, your honor, I said she was fucking Goofy! Haha!”
You have to hear it in the voice.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge says, “Mr. Mouse, I understand that you want to divorce Mrs. Mouse for mental incapacity.” Mickey replies, “No, your honor, I said she was fucking Goofy! Haha!”
You have to hear it in the voice.
November 22, 2025 at 11:39 AM
This is an old joke, but I’ll tell it anyway.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge says, “Mr. Mouse, I understand that you want to divorce Mrs. Mouse for mental incapacity.” Mickey replies, “No, your honor, I said she was fucking Goofy! Haha!”
You have to hear it in the voice.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge says, “Mr. Mouse, I understand that you want to divorce Mrs. Mouse for mental incapacity.” Mickey replies, “No, your honor, I said she was fucking Goofy! Haha!”
You have to hear it in the voice.
This song is as relevant today as it was in 1979. I hope you’ll listen and enjoy. May you all be well.
youtu.be/QwN2fG4wcqU?...
youtu.be/QwN2fG4wcqU?...
[What's So Funny 'Bout] Peace, Love And Understanding
YouTube video by Elvis Costello - Topic
youtu.be
November 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
This song is as relevant today as it was in 1979. I hope you’ll listen and enjoy. May you all be well.
youtu.be/QwN2fG4wcqU?...
youtu.be/QwN2fG4wcqU?...
I have a minor issue with Apple Music listing Nirvana as Classic Rock. They either don’t know what that term means, or they’re trying to make me feel old in a passive aggressive manner. Nirvana is Grunge. That’s it. Flannel shirts and mumbling. That’s not Elvis, for sure.
November 20, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I have a minor issue with Apple Music listing Nirvana as Classic Rock. They either don’t know what that term means, or they’re trying to make me feel old in a passive aggressive manner. Nirvana is Grunge. That’s it. Flannel shirts and mumbling. That’s not Elvis, for sure.
It seems to me that there’s a lot of misdirection going on around here, like a magic act. By here, I mean the news. There’s ICE doing bad things here and the Epstein documents are over there. Look, there’s war in Palestine and Ukraine. Possible war with Venezuela. What’s really happening? Honestly.
November 20, 2025 at 5:56 AM
It seems to me that there’s a lot of misdirection going on around here, like a magic act. By here, I mean the news. There’s ICE doing bad things here and the Epstein documents are over there. Look, there’s war in Palestine and Ukraine. Possible war with Venezuela. What’s really happening? Honestly.
It strikes me as odd when someone says, “This is a picture of me when I was younger…” Literally every picture of you is one of you when you were younger. If they said, “This is a picture of me when I was a baby…” I’d understand that. You’re clearly not a baby because you can form a sentence.
November 17, 2025 at 6:34 PM
It strikes me as odd when someone says, “This is a picture of me when I was younger…” Literally every picture of you is one of you when you were younger. If they said, “This is a picture of me when I was a baby…” I’d understand that. You’re clearly not a baby because you can form a sentence.
Good news: the Dallas Cowboys will not lose today.
Bad news: they’re waiting for Monday.
Bad news: they’re waiting for Monday.
November 16, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Good news: the Dallas Cowboys will not lose today.
Bad news: they’re waiting for Monday.
Bad news: they’re waiting for Monday.
Just finished watching “Death by Lightning” on Netflix. It’s alright. I was able to watch the whole thing. Your mileage may vary. My wife said every character should wear a name tag because everyone had a great big beard. That part does make it a bit hard to follow.
November 16, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Just finished watching “Death by Lightning” on Netflix. It’s alright. I was able to watch the whole thing. Your mileage may vary. My wife said every character should wear a name tag because everyone had a great big beard. That part does make it a bit hard to follow.
This song seems appropriate for our current environment. youtu.be/LFHcC-qoBdk?...
Genesis - Illegal Alien (Official Audio)
YouTube video by Genesis
youtu.be
November 16, 2025 at 8:14 AM
This song seems appropriate for our current environment. youtu.be/LFHcC-qoBdk?...
I’m watching this multi-part documentary about North Korea. I’m fascinated with this country. It’s deeply weird and talk about income inequality, man, they are out there. For a country that claims to be communist, they sure don’t spread the wealth. We’re getting there, though.
November 15, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I’m watching this multi-part documentary about North Korea. I’m fascinated with this country. It’s deeply weird and talk about income inequality, man, they are out there. For a country that claims to be communist, they sure don’t spread the wealth. We’re getting there, though.
This Thanksgiving, I will steer the conversation away from politics into religion. That’ll show ‘em.
November 14, 2025 at 8:37 PM
This Thanksgiving, I will steer the conversation away from politics into religion. That’ll show ‘em.
What’s the worst side dish someone could bring to Thanksgiving dinner? I think green bean casserole has to be way up there.
November 14, 2025 at 5:08 AM
What’s the worst side dish someone could bring to Thanksgiving dinner? I think green bean casserole has to be way up there.
The philosophers from the band Chicago asked and answered an existential question. “Does anybody really know what time it is?” The answer is “25 or 6 to 4.”
November 13, 2025 at 4:49 AM
The philosophers from the band Chicago asked and answered an existential question. “Does anybody really know what time it is?” The answer is “25 or 6 to 4.”
@morna6.bsky.social You know you can just shut off DMs. That way, you don’t have to fuss around deleting them.
November 12, 2025 at 6:13 PM
@morna6.bsky.social You know you can just shut off DMs. That way, you don’t have to fuss around deleting them.
Let me see if I have this right. We need more immigrants because Americans don’t have talent. But, we keep rounding up immigrants and disappearing them. Who would want immigrate here? I would question their sanity. “Oh, you’re from India? Get in the back of the van. Back to Somalia!”
November 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Let me see if I have this right. We need more immigrants because Americans don’t have talent. But, we keep rounding up immigrants and disappearing them. Who would want immigrate here? I would question their sanity. “Oh, you’re from India? Get in the back of the van. Back to Somalia!”
I’m trying to understand this fifty year mortgage thing. The average first time home buyer is roughly forty years old. Cool. Add forty and fifty and you get ninety, so the idea is that consumers just pay interest at whatever the Fed decides for the rest of their lives, gaining minimal equity.
November 12, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I’m trying to understand this fifty year mortgage thing. The average first time home buyer is roughly forty years old. Cool. Add forty and fifty and you get ninety, so the idea is that consumers just pay interest at whatever the Fed decides for the rest of their lives, gaining minimal equity.
You know what’s funny about YoutubeTV? Sure, they don’t have Disney/ABC properties anymore, but they do have an entire channel devoted to PickleBall. I’m not talking about your grandparents’ league. I mean full on championship level PickleBall!
November 10, 2025 at 7:12 PM
You know what’s funny about YoutubeTV? Sure, they don’t have Disney/ABC properties anymore, but they do have an entire channel devoted to PickleBall. I’m not talking about your grandparents’ league. I mean full on championship level PickleBall!
Tell me some good news, please. It can be anything from a rescued animal to a foiled terror plot to something that happened to you recently. Anything happy or fun is good news. I want to keep positive thoughts in my mind. I’ll start. I found a penny heads up the other day. Beat that. Please, please.
November 10, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Tell me some good news, please. It can be anything from a rescued animal to a foiled terror plot to something that happened to you recently. Anything happy or fun is good news. I want to keep positive thoughts in my mind. I’ll start. I found a penny heads up the other day. Beat that. Please, please.
Fun fact: Koalas have fingerprints indistinguishable from human fingerprints. So, bring a koala when you’re planning a crime. Throw off those investigators. It will be an adorable crime scene. I can’t wait to see those tiny handcuffs. Also, beware. All koalas have chlamydia.
November 9, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Fun fact: Koalas have fingerprints indistinguishable from human fingerprints. So, bring a koala when you’re planning a crime. Throw off those investigators. It will be an adorable crime scene. I can’t wait to see those tiny handcuffs. Also, beware. All koalas have chlamydia.
In physics, there is a problem with perpetual motion. There’s friction, entropy, all of it, but if you think about it and have smoked enough weed, you’ll realize that a cat always lands on its feet and buttered toast always lands butter side down. Create a cat/toast array. Perpetual motion solved.💥
November 9, 2025 at 11:11 AM
In physics, there is a problem with perpetual motion. There’s friction, entropy, all of it, but if you think about it and have smoked enough weed, you’ll realize that a cat always lands on its feet and buttered toast always lands butter side down. Create a cat/toast array. Perpetual motion solved.💥
I saw recently that Mike Judge confirmed that Arlen, TX of “King of the Hill” is based on real life Richardson, TX. That happens to be where I grew up. I’m not at all surprised. I wonder if this show hits different for people outside of Texas. I can relate to all of it. He grew up in Garland.
November 8, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I saw recently that Mike Judge confirmed that Arlen, TX of “King of the Hill” is based on real life Richardson, TX. That happens to be where I grew up. I’m not at all surprised. I wonder if this show hits different for people outside of Texas. I can relate to all of it. He grew up in Garland.