Diet Coquette
@seventwelve21.bsky.social
Amateur person. Professional enthusiast.
Worlds most boring human. Only here to be an idiot. Profanity, equality, baseball. Analyst. Leans hard left. I collect cardboard and ❤️a good latte. Best Coast. I can’t be your succubus if you don’t have a soul.
Worlds most boring human. Only here to be an idiot. Profanity, equality, baseball. Analyst. Leans hard left. I collect cardboard and ❤️a good latte. Best Coast. I can’t be your succubus if you don’t have a soul.
Just received a postcard from my kid at camp (2mo ago), addressed to:
Mommy
Zip code
Street number
City
Street name
Neighborhood name
State
Some kind postal worker still got it to me anyway
AND she can recite her address correctly. Another kid convinced her the order was wrong. But it’s adorable.
Mommy
Zip code
Street number
City
Street name
Neighborhood name
State
Some kind postal worker still got it to me anyway
AND she can recite her address correctly. Another kid convinced her the order was wrong. But it’s adorable.
December 7, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Just received a postcard from my kid at camp (2mo ago), addressed to:
Mommy
Zip code
Street number
City
Street name
Neighborhood name
State
Some kind postal worker still got it to me anyway
AND she can recite her address correctly. Another kid convinced her the order was wrong. But it’s adorable.
Mommy
Zip code
Street number
City
Street name
Neighborhood name
State
Some kind postal worker still got it to me anyway
AND she can recite her address correctly. Another kid convinced her the order was wrong. But it’s adorable.
Reposted by Diet Coquette
Aw, my buddy P2F made a Christmas tree of ornaments I made him over the years. I love baseball Christmas trees! 🥰
December 6, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Aw, my buddy P2F made a Christmas tree of ornaments I made him over the years. I love baseball Christmas trees! 🥰
Hugh Grant’s middle name is Mungo
His legal name is Hugh Mongo. Humungo.
Somebody give his mom her flowers.
His legal name is Hugh Mongo. Humungo.
Somebody give his mom her flowers.
November 26, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Hugh Grant’s middle name is Mungo
His legal name is Hugh Mongo. Humungo.
Somebody give his mom her flowers.
His legal name is Hugh Mongo. Humungo.
Somebody give his mom her flowers.
Reposted by Diet Coquette
quick get MAD TV back on the air so i can pitch Jesus Fucking Christ Superstar
November 26, 2025 at 4:33 PM
quick get MAD TV back on the air so i can pitch Jesus Fucking Christ Superstar
Kiddo told me she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar
I checked to see if she meant farts in a pickle jar (not that this would present any less questions) and I was mocked mercilessly.
OBVIOUSLY she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar. She’ll be taking no further questions at this time
I checked to see if she meant farts in a pickle jar (not that this would present any less questions) and I was mocked mercilessly.
OBVIOUSLY she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar. She’ll be taking no further questions at this time
November 25, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Kiddo told me she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar
I checked to see if she meant farts in a pickle jar (not that this would present any less questions) and I was mocked mercilessly.
OBVIOUSLY she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar. She’ll be taking no further questions at this time
I checked to see if she meant farts in a pickle jar (not that this would present any less questions) and I was mocked mercilessly.
OBVIOUSLY she wants to keep her pickles in a fart jar. She’ll be taking no further questions at this time
A movie that takes place where you’re from
November 24, 2025 at 5:10 AM
A movie that takes place where you’re from
It’s international men’s day
Just typing that seems like more than what’s deserved
Just typing that seems like more than what’s deserved
November 19, 2025 at 8:33 PM
It’s international men’s day
Just typing that seems like more than what’s deserved
Just typing that seems like more than what’s deserved
Butt polish™️ but it’s just any excuse for me to grab your ass (With consent. And for profit)
November 18, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Butt polish™️ but it’s just any excuse for me to grab your ass (With consent. And for profit)
Thinking about my mom back when she was my age
Tears are coming to my eyes
That bitch had NO followers
Tears are coming to my eyes
That bitch had NO followers
November 16, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Thinking about my mom back when she was my age
Tears are coming to my eyes
That bitch had NO followers
Tears are coming to my eyes
That bitch had NO followers
It costs zero dollars to let the intrusive thoughts win, and you know I love a bargain
November 16, 2025 at 5:03 AM
It costs zero dollars to let the intrusive thoughts win, and you know I love a bargain
Reposted by Diet Coquette
there should be a Dumb Jeopardy
November 14, 2025 at 9:27 PM
there should be a Dumb Jeopardy
Reposted by Diet Coquette
Yes, sadly it is real.
November 15, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Yes, sadly it is real.
Reposted by Diet Coquette
How much do you think god makes an hour
November 14, 2025 at 5:59 AM
How much do you think god makes an hour
The coach of Modesto’s new independent league team (Glow Riders) is going to be JT Snow!!!!!!
November 14, 2025 at 3:49 AM
The coach of Modesto’s new independent league team (Glow Riders) is going to be JT Snow!!!!!!
Reposted by Diet Coquette
Girl, are you the federal government? Because no one can depend on you for anything.
November 1, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Girl, are you the federal government? Because no one can depend on you for anything.
Instacart is doing 50% off groceries on your next order to anyone using an EBT card, even if magic happens and funding comes through tomorrow.
October 31, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Instacart is doing 50% off groceries on your next order to anyone using an EBT card, even if magic happens and funding comes through tomorrow.
@karenkilgariff.bsky.social
They sell tooth polishers at TJ Maxx now!
In mine, they’re only 2 small cosmetic aisles from the Korean skincare. Put that gifted tooth polish to good use!
I thought I was the only one who enjoys them so much. I think mine was 29.99?
Enjoy!
They sell tooth polishers at TJ Maxx now!
In mine, they’re only 2 small cosmetic aisles from the Korean skincare. Put that gifted tooth polish to good use!
I thought I was the only one who enjoys them so much. I think mine was 29.99?
Enjoy!
October 31, 2025 at 3:31 PM
@karenkilgariff.bsky.social
They sell tooth polishers at TJ Maxx now!
In mine, they’re only 2 small cosmetic aisles from the Korean skincare. Put that gifted tooth polish to good use!
I thought I was the only one who enjoys them so much. I think mine was 29.99?
Enjoy!
They sell tooth polishers at TJ Maxx now!
In mine, they’re only 2 small cosmetic aisles from the Korean skincare. Put that gifted tooth polish to good use!
I thought I was the only one who enjoys them so much. I think mine was 29.99?
Enjoy!
And time told me to sit down and shut the fuck Up
Ok, HOURS AGO I called it in 16
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
October 29, 2025 at 2:23 AM
And time told me to sit down and shut the fuck Up
Do you see this, Brody?
Maximum minutes. Will likely be the longest World Series game in history.
For you
Enjoy it
Maximum minutes. Will likely be the longest World Series game in history.
For you
Enjoy it
Brody Stephens, I hope you’re up there appreciating both teams working so hard to give you the maximum minutes of baseball possible. In The fucking World Series.
Positive push
Positive push
October 28, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Do you see this, Brody?
Maximum minutes. Will likely be the longest World Series game in history.
For you
Enjoy it
Maximum minutes. Will likely be the longest World Series game in history.
For you
Enjoy it
Reposted by Diet Coquette
The Marine Layer is the Game Three MVP
October 28, 2025 at 6:10 AM
The Marine Layer is the Game Three MVP
Ok, HOURS AGO I called it in 16
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
October 28, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Ok, HOURS AGO I called it in 16
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
Am I the true baseball Oracle (park)?
Only time will tell
Mornings I get up, get kiddo ready, get self ready, drive across town to drop kiddo at am childcare, get coffee, and start work at 6:30 am.
And I never, ever leave a game early.
I’m not even there in person.
Neither team is my team
Baseball forever (literally, I guess)
And I never, ever leave a game early.
I’m not even there in person.
Neither team is my team
Baseball forever (literally, I guess)
October 28, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Mornings I get up, get kiddo ready, get self ready, drive across town to drop kiddo at am childcare, get coffee, and start work at 6:30 am.
And I never, ever leave a game early.
I’m not even there in person.
Neither team is my team
Baseball forever (literally, I guess)
And I never, ever leave a game early.
I’m not even there in person.
Neither team is my team
Baseball forever (literally, I guess)