Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
@saraterror.bsky.social
Murdery unicorn. Horror writer & reader. Herder of feral cats. Disabled badass (pudendal neuralgia, severe light sensitivity). Survivor. ADHD chaos muppet. Queen of seahorse penises. Queer. Boob monster. Face biter.
Pinned
I will never regret getting this tattoo.
I THOUGHT I JUST WALKED IN ON MY MOM’S HUSBAND GOING PEE BUT HE WAS JUST FLUSHING A BUG
November 28, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I THOUGHT I JUST WALKED IN ON MY MOM’S HUSBAND GOING PEE BUT HE WAS JUST FLUSHING A BUG
Already listened to Alice’s Restaurant once today. ☺️
Sixty years ago this week in the Berkshire (MA) Eagle: "Saturday, Richard J. Robbins, 19, of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., and Arlo Guthrie, 18, of Howard Beach, N.Y., each paid a fine of $25 in Lee District Court after pleading guilty of illegally disposing of rubbish...."
web.archive.org/web/20201125... 1/2
web.archive.org/web/20201125... 1/2
November 27, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Already listened to Alice’s Restaurant once today. ☺️
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
if you put poppin fresh in the oven what happens, do you think he'd start screaming until the moment his mouth swelled shut
November 27, 2025 at 4:38 PM
if you put poppin fresh in the oven what happens, do you think he'd start screaming until the moment his mouth swelled shut
Should I wear my nekkid lady earrings to thanksgiving dinner?
Yes, me and my naked lady earrings from @peculiarityshop.bsky.social are fabulous. Thank you for noticing.
November 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Should I wear my nekkid lady earrings to thanksgiving dinner?
I love a Baskin Robbin’s ice cream cake. I would eat that with my face.
Lot of discussion about pies today when we could be talking about that fucked up turkey ice cream cake Baskin Robins makes.
November 26, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I love a Baskin Robbin’s ice cream cake. I would eat that with my face.
Yes, me and my naked lady earrings from @peculiarityshop.bsky.social are fabulous. Thank you for noticing.
November 25, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Yes, me and my naked lady earrings from @peculiarityshop.bsky.social are fabulous. Thank you for noticing.
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
Dropped spanakopita on the floor and it’s like a phyllo dough bomb went off.
November 25, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Dropped spanakopita on the floor and it’s like a phyllo dough bomb went off.
“Yes I broke the floor in an attempt to get inside this bathroom. In my defense, I am a cat and I am perfect.”
November 25, 2025 at 5:29 PM
“Yes I broke the floor in an attempt to get inside this bathroom. In my defense, I am a cat and I am perfect.”
Do cats usually have a toe bean halfway up their front legs? Trying to figure out how inbred my baby kitty is and google would just give me an AI generated recipe for toe bean dip if I asked it for help.
November 25, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Do cats usually have a toe bean halfway up their front legs? Trying to figure out how inbred my baby kitty is and google would just give me an AI generated recipe for toe bean dip if I asked it for help.
TINY CAT ON BIG CAT
Nandi Floof’s very feral sibling, who I call Ringtail, lying on top of their momma, Nosy. Ringtail is so small and so incredibly ferocious. She’ll never let a person near her but she will ruthlessly exterminate any rodent in a five mile radius.
November 25, 2025 at 3:35 PM
TINY CAT ON BIG CAT
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
Sometimes I think it’s going to be the librarians who will save us all.
November 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Sometimes I think it’s going to be the librarians who will save us all.
We played with her toy so much she passed out on it.
November 25, 2025 at 4:08 AM
We played with her toy so much she passed out on it.
How does a teeny tiny kitten make poop the length of a freight train?
November 25, 2025 at 3:31 AM
How does a teeny tiny kitten make poop the length of a freight train?
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
It should be legal to trap mychart in the body of an evil serial killer on death row.
November 25, 2025 at 12:20 AM
It should be legal to trap mychart in the body of an evil serial killer on death row.
How the fuck do I have a mychart after visit summary when I haven’t had a medical appointment? And while I’m on this rant, why the fuck does mychart send me eight texts, emails, and phone calls for every appointment even though I turn those settings off?
November 25, 2025 at 12:11 AM
How the fuck do I have a mychart after visit summary when I haven’t had a medical appointment? And while I’m on this rant, why the fuck does mychart send me eight texts, emails, and phone calls for every appointment even though I turn those settings off?
Nandi Floof’s very feral sibling, who I call Ringtail, lying on top of their momma, Nosy. Ringtail is so small and so incredibly ferocious. She’ll never let a person near her but she will ruthlessly exterminate any rodent in a five mile radius.
November 25, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Nandi Floof’s very feral sibling, who I call Ringtail, lying on top of their momma, Nosy. Ringtail is so small and so incredibly ferocious. She’ll never let a person near her but she will ruthlessly exterminate any rodent in a five mile radius.
This morning, Floof is exploring the house while meowing nonstop. She wants me with her everywhere she goes. She and my dog have met. There was much barking. Right now, baby kitty is under a bed, purring away as long as I touch her foot. I am not allowed on top of the bed.
Yesterday was “stopped hiding under the furniture day” for Nandi Floof. Her journey today has been ambitious. She explored a mostly empty room. And she has progressed to “I will cry nonstop if you leave my line of sight.” Currently she is sacked out in a corner but I’m not allowed to leave the room
November 24, 2025 at 2:50 PM
This morning, Floof is exploring the house while meowing nonstop. She wants me with her everywhere she goes. She and my dog have met. There was much barking. Right now, baby kitty is under a bed, purring away as long as I touch her foot. I am not allowed on top of the bed.
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
Okay but I do think about her all the time. Just a tall, cool lady with a shiny golden eye.
Thinking of the Helmand Culture woman from Shahr-e Sukhteh in Iran with the sick ass golden artificial eye again.
November 23, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Okay but I do think about her all the time. Just a tall, cool lady with a shiny golden eye.
Yesterday was “stopped hiding under the furniture day” for Nandi Floof. Her journey today has been ambitious. She explored a mostly empty room. And she has progressed to “I will cry nonstop if you leave my line of sight.” Currently she is sacked out in a corner but I’m not allowed to leave the room
November 23, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Yesterday was “stopped hiding under the furniture day” for Nandi Floof. Her journey today has been ambitious. She explored a mostly empty room. And she has progressed to “I will cry nonstop if you leave my line of sight.” Currently she is sacked out in a corner but I’m not allowed to leave the room
Reposted by Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
Once again, Floof’s daddy/grandpa Yumyan shows up for a visit solely to take her stuff (currently her food). I think we will see this look of betrayal on her little face many times.
November 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Once again, Floof’s daddy/grandpa Yumyan shows up for a visit solely to take her stuff (currently her food). I think we will see this look of betrayal on her little face many times.
Last night I used a kitty fishing pole toy with Floof. There’s a recliner in her room. Every time i made the ball of feathers rise to the seat of the chair, she would run behind the chair to see where it had gone. Took sooooo long for understanding vertical space to kick in.
November 23, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Last night I used a kitty fishing pole toy with Floof. There’s a recliner in her room. Every time i made the ball of feathers rise to the seat of the chair, she would run behind the chair to see where it had gone. Took sooooo long for understanding vertical space to kick in.
Big daddy Yumyan materialized to show his daughter everything is cool and she’s safe. Very helpful to get the much-sought Hammerpaw endorsement.
November 22, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Big daddy Yumyan materialized to show his daughter everything is cool and she’s safe. Very helpful to get the much-sought Hammerpaw endorsement.
Help, my favorite lipstick that was discontinued a decade ago has run out. 😭 Why do things end? Who made up these absurd rules? I want to speak to the manager of everything being temporary.
November 22, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Help, my favorite lipstick that was discontinued a decade ago has run out. 😭 Why do things end? Who made up these absurd rules? I want to speak to the manager of everything being temporary.