I initially blamed Spruce but then we went outside and I realized he was innocent of all charges

I thought I saw him in a food network commercial and was like “What’s Jesse Palmer doing on food network??”

Yeah that’s easily 50% of it. There are some other issues related to male friendship and general isolation in our society, but when we’re using “loneliness” to mean “inability to find romantic partners,” it’s mostly an issue of many men not offering what women want in a partner.

I noticed that was happening before he took office, but I wonder if his prominence has accelerated those linguistic shifts

You guys

Like what do you think the combination of my voice saying “Hi, come on in!” and then a beep and the sound of a door unlocking … what do you think that could mean?