You can’t even imagine how fucking much those words matter to me❤️🥲 though, idea to wear my OC into armour is dope

Thank you!! I’m exploring this love further, so wait for more, I guess👉👈

Love you! Thank you!!

..even when I *need* to. That’s a pity story, I know how miserable it is, true enough, but the life isn’t beautiful for someones. For me it’s a fucking dense forest and instead of axe I have a bloody shovel to dig myself own grave. And yeah, that fucking hurts - seeing them, while you alone for 8 y.

Most of those people are happy. Not alone. Happy. Loved. Wealthy. I really wish sometimes life would pay them same coin they did to me. But it still doesn’t. I barely taught myself to be less anxious, less self-conscious, but *barely*. I still don’t trust people, I’m still not talking first, even..

By the way, in school I was a looser. I hated school, because of kids. They took my trust and shattered it into pieces because I wasn’t thin. I was perfectly curvy, healthy, sporty. Never learned what’s the fucking confidence since all I heard was bullying. Now those people have own kids…

Oh, BTW, texts on papers are real written reports including main storyline, so.. yep. It’s too pixelated to read though, but maybe I’ll attach notes later

…everything for her, since she’s being his strange love and hate in one. She’s treating him more like a brother, whereas he can’t live without her opinion, permission and attention. He can’t say no either every time she wants new dose. That’s cruel and unhealthy connection they have, and yet…

Barotrauma setting. Marlen and Gin. Two qualified surgeons on submarine, working as and with mercenaries. After pretty rough missions figured out that most profitable - sell organs under table after raids. She is older, meaner, morphine add*cted. He’s soft and innocent in a way, does…

And where tf to start? With what of everything should be started *now*. So what you do is get into tears again, ‘cause you’re useless and powerless pathetic mess and go to sleep. Avoiding mirrors, photos. And thinking ‘what they will say when see me again. did I become bigger? Uglier? ItsShame’

3/3

…where to start with. What’s the most urgent in this mess and chaos. You suddenly so overwhelmed by how far everything is gone, that don’t even have power to start with at least one healing process out of 1000. Sleep? Fucked. Weight? Gained. Diet? Forgotten. Health? In grave. Mental? Gone

2/3

...doesn't heal, doesn't bring joy, and art becomes a torture, a punishment in your head enough to throw tablet in the wall and next morning go buy new one. This isn't challenge, but the worst nightmare that you wouldn't wish to an enemy. For me, maybe for some people too, this is a fck reality

3/3