How it feels being a Brit and being told increasingly implausibly that a world leader isn't on death's door

THE WETHERSPOONS BOUNCER: You don't have any outside drinks, do you lad?
ME:

Tenancy deposit dispute scheme dismissed 96% of what my old landlord tried to get me to pay them. Very smugly feeling this right now lads

Encountered this new restaurant earlier and already know I'll be repeating it's tagline to myself every so often like it's a piece of ancient wisdom for a month

People need to stop calling everything they see AI. My mate Gaz spent literal weeks going against God and nature to breed an army of bipedal police bulldogs, and now he's inconsolable that everyone's accusing his hard work of being AI. Sort yourselves out.

Currently working on a new horror subgenre just for Mancunians

Having some doubts about the authenticity of the rip of Phantom Thread I downloaded

I'm glad the Twelve Angry Men Cinematic Universe reboot is taking the time to give us origin movies rather than rushing to the crossover

Shoutout to the time I went to the Museum Of Science and Industry and went to the kids area and utterly towermogged some seven year old with my superior architecture

Turning 30 in a few hours. Commence standard operating protocol: Getting Real Weird With It

You know, they don't call e-girls e-girls in France. They call 'em

You can sing the majority of these names to the chorus of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, in case you needed a pick-me-up

POV: You're the Gorillaz on the Demon Days cover and I'm about to have got your nose

I am become a Barbie Girl
Destroyer of Barbie Worlds

Going wild after realising that one of the dramatic clippings of headlines about crime in the Criminal Minds intro is a conspiracy tabloid one about Harold Holt, the Aussie PM who disappeared while swimming in the ocean and got a memorial swimming pool named after him