The second quarter of the century 😳

*getting arrested for nude Christmas carolling* IT’S AN ANCIENT TRADITION!!

He goes on Truth Social and says the caddie came up to him with tears in his eyes about how beautiful the game was and that he was being nominated for the Nobel Golf Prize.

Ripley’s “Nuke It From Orbit ‘26”

“Well first he had to clean up BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA’s mess, and then the Deep State released COVID and suppressed our liberties so BIDEN could steal the election, and then everything went to Hell, so now he’s cleaning up THAT mess. His third term is going to be awesome, though.” -MAGA, unironically.

“Have you ever read ‘The Lottery?’”

“Yeah, sure, it’s a classic about the dangers of clinging to destructive traditions based in superstition and…”

*a rock flies past*

“‘Round here we tend to see it more as an instruction manual. You understand?”

Cemented in Internet History

“There are plenty of jobs out there if people would take the time to go talk with business owners and apply for them!” logic.

“Also, it’s not valid to vaguely reference ‘the lost wisdom of transmutation’ when dismissing the processes specified in your textbook as ‘overly complicated.’”

I love whenever articles like this are all “SEE THE UNREASONABLE ANGRY DEMANDS OF THIS SJW TEACHER” and the teacher’s comment are always “please actually cite sources and try not to call your classmates demonic”

“wE hAd LeGiTiMaTe CoNcErNs”